(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
A bunch of college guys were sitting around in their frat house when the fraternity smooth talker made an announcement.
“I have decided what I am going to do after college,” the smooth talker declared. “I am going to become a politician.”
The other frat guys nodded, since the smooth talker had shown little aptitude for anything except an amazing ability to convince women to give him stuff for nothing in return (except momentary affection and empty promises).
“Now that I have chosen my career, I must choose my political party,” the smooth talker continued. “Should I become a republican or a democrat? I don’t even know the difference between the two.”
“There isn’t a difference,” said the fraternity hunk, who was a libertarian. “The only difference between republicans and democrats is that most republicans at least know that their candidates suck.”
“That is a shallow way of delineating the differences between republicans and democrats,” the frat intellectual said. “It depends on where you stand on a number of issues. What do you think about the economy, the deficit, the national debt, health care, gas prices, national defense, and the environment?”
“Babes,” the smooth talker said. “Which party has more babes?”
“Women tend to vote democrat a bit more than they do republican,” the intellectual responded. “But that’s not a valid reason to…”
“Then a democrat I shall be!” the smooth talker proclaimed, cutting off the intellectual. “I shall represent women, and minorities, and the poor in their struggles against the oppressors in this country.”
“But you are the oppressor,” the hunk said, puzzled. “You treat women like dirt in your personal life. You voted the poor students out of this fraternity because they couldn’t pay their dues. You tell the vilest racist jokes I’ve ever heard. And you say you want to help these people?”
“I am a politician,” the smooth talker said with a wink. “Just because I say I want to help women, minorities, and the poor doesn’t mean I have to hang out with them.”
And with that, the smooth talker stepped out of the frat house to begin his political career.
The hunk was furious, but the intellectual couldn’t figure out why.
“You always thought the smooth talker’s antics were funny when he got women to pay his way for everything,” the intellectual said. “What has changed?”
“I just got hired by a huge corporation,” the hunk explained. “Now that he’s a politician, it’s guys like me that will have to pay his way for everything.”
It takes confidence for a politician to go on a show called "The Biggest Loser" right before a major election. Confidence... or a lack of foresight. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Weight loss is a lot like writing. Both take commitment to be successful. Both require lots of frustrating work, and on some days it seems like you have nothing to show for that hard work. The next few paragraphs might make it seem like I don’t respect the weight loss process, but I do, just as much as I respect the writing process (most of the time).
*****
When “The Biggest Loser” first came on a few years ago, nobody thought the television show would last long. It had a tacky name (I know because when I laughed at it, people said I was tacky for laughing at it), a tacky concept, and no stars except for an actress formerly from “Sabrina, the Teenage Witch.”
I guess the public was so desperate for anything “weight loss” that eventually the tacky became acceptable. Now First Lady Michelle Obama is inviting the contestants of “The Biggest Loser” to the White House for a reunion with family members and a White House workout.
What the trainers and contestants don’t realize is that the White House workout is a round of golf.
I have nothing against Michelle Obama, and I appreciate a first lady who tries to do something about obesity in the United States. My problem is that this particular episode will have no entertainment value. The contestants will be in awe of Michelle Obama and smile awkwardly. Michelle Obama will be charming. It will be a highly promoted very special episode, but everybody knows “very special episodes” suck.
If “The Biggest Loser” wants a politician and get huge ratings, they need to get New Jersey Governor Chris Christie on the show.
No, I’m not going to make a bunch of “Chris Christie fat jokes” because all the good ones have already been done that’s not the main reason I want him on the show. I want Chris Christie on “The Biggest Loser” for the entertainment value.
Governor of New Jersey Chris Christie: I don't know what he's talking about, but I'm pretty sure he's about to argue with somebody. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Governor Chris Christie loves to argue. Videos of Chris Christie arguing are way more entertaining than any episode of “The Biggest Loser” will ever be (except for any episode with Governor Chris Christie). I want to see Chris Christie argue with Jillian during a workout. I want Chris Christie to argue with other contestants during their workouts. I want Chris Christie to argue at the weigh-ins. I want Chris Christie to argue at the vote-offs. This “very special episode” of “The Biggest Loser” would probably be… THE BEST VERY SPECIAL EPISODE EVER!!!
A younger Rick Santorum. This picture was probably taken when there weren't any New York Times reporters in the room. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Even though I rarely use profanity in writing, I am known to occasionally let loose verbally with some foul language. If somebody cuts me off in traffic, I’ll cuss. When my kids bring home bad grades, I’ll cuss. When my priest’s sermons go over ten minutes long during football season, I cuss (very quietly). Profanity is almost an impulse, and when I speak, the first word is sometimes profane.
A couple days ago Rick Santorum cussed at a New York Times reporter in public with witnesses and microphones on. His opponents are going to keep criticizing him for it, and his supporters will defend him (and give him money), but I don’t care about any of that.
I don’t have a problem with a presidential candidate picking a fight with a reporter. President Bush (the first) boosted his primary campaign in 1988 when he got into an argument with Dan Rather (back when Dan Rather was kind of a big shot). But then again, Vice-President Bush didn’t curse at him.
And even though I’m not a big fan of reporters , I’m not convinced the New York Times reporter’s behavior warranted Santorum’s mild profanity. The reporter was simply doing what reporters do (asking annoying questions), and Santorum probably overreacted (and I don’t have a problem with that, either).
But there is a time when I kind of wish somebody would cuss at reporters.
*****
The morning news television shows do a lot of interviews every day, and one of their stories each day usually involves somebody going through a tragic situation. Many of these tragic situations are truly horrific, things I wouldn’t wish on anybody, and yet these (mostly) normal everyday people going through tragic situations find the fortitude (or whatever it is called) to do an interview on a national news show.
And no matter how tragic the situation is, the interviewers on these various morning news shows start with an almost cheerful, “Good morning!”
The interviewees going through these tragic situations always respond with a polite “Good morning” even though these interviewees are going through the worst moments of their lives. These interviewees are far better people than I am.
If I were going through a tragic situation, and for some reason I decided to go on a national news show to talk about it, and the reporter who was talking to me knew that I was going through the worst moment of my entire life, and he (or she) started off the interview with a “Good morning,”….
I might have to cuss at him.
It might not solve anything. It might not help me at all with my tragic situation. But it might make reporters think of another way to begin their uncomfortable (often really awkward) interviews with people going through tragic situations.
And maybe I could get a job working for Rick Santorum.
When the congressman heard there were 2400 pages to look over, he got really excited… until he found out that the pages were in the 2010 health care bill. US Capital Building (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The Supreme Court is boring. Congress is boring. The legislation process is boring. Health care is boring. The problem with boring stuff is that a lot of times the boring stuff is really important, and the 2010 health care bill that the Supreme Court is ruling on is really, really important… and boring.
It’s sometimes called Obamacare, even though President Obama didn’t write it. Congress wrote it, so in a way the health care bill has around 600 authors. It’s like a movie with more than two screenwriters; you know it’s pretty much going to suck before you have even seen it.
At 2400 pages, the bill was too long to read before Congress voted on it. So naturally Congress voted on it before reading it. That’s like me reviewing a book before I’ve finished reading it (which I’ve… ahem… actually done a few times, but at least I’ve always admitted to it). Nobody has to follow my book review recommendations, but we pretty much have to follow what’s in the law (if it’s deemed constitutional).
And it took about a year to figure out what was in the law. 2010 was filled with arguments about “This is in the bill,” and “No, it’s not in the bill,” and then “Yeah, it’s in the bill, but not in the same words that you originally used.”
It was tough to figure out what was in the health care bill because the language was so boring. It would have been easier to figure out (and more fun to read) if the health care bill had actually used language like “death panels.” I would have eagerly read about “death panels.” Instead, there’s some long boring term for “death panels” that make it sound more patient friendly than “death panels.”
Experts finally figured out that the law requires that everybody purchase health insurance, and if you don’t, there’ll be a penalty. It’s not the death penalty (that would have made the health care bill more interesting), but a monetary penalty. Opponents say the government can’t force people to buy health insurance; obviously, the federal government disagrees.
Thankfully (for the Supreme Court), that’s the only part that the Supreme Court is ruling on. If the Supreme Court were treating this health care bill portion-by-portion like the president with a line item veto, the Supreme Court wouldn’t be hearing another case until Romney’s second term… ugh… I mean, Hillary’s first term… ugh… I mean, Biden’s first…. You know what I mean.
Luckily for legislators, the Supreme Court is not ruling on whether or not bad writing is unconstitutional. Otherwise, Congress might have to get shut down (which could be good), but then Twitter would also have to get shut down, and life would suddenly become less fun.
Peyton Manning, you are a future NFL Hall of Fame quarterback, but even more important, you can end conversations about race in America! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The situation in Florida where a guy who was of one particular race shot a teenager who was of another particular race is getting a lot of attention. It seems like maybe the police didn’t investigate this situation fully at the time, and now it’s become a national issue.
When there’s a national issue that involves two different races, there are certain politicians, celebrities, and media outlets that think it is time for a “conversation about race in America” (in quotes because that’s the phrase a certain news network uses).
The problem with a “conversation about race in America” is that a lot of people who claim to want this conversation don’t really want two-way communication; they want to lecture.
I know people don’t really want conversations when they cut me off in mid-sentence to refute my point when I haven’t finished making my point, and my point pretty much agreed with their point but they were too eager to make sure their point is heard so they miss my point.
That’s why I don’t like conversations about race (or politics, or abortion).
Writing about race (or politics, or abortion) is different because nobody can cut me off in mid-sentence to refute my point that I haven’t finished making yet. They might stop reading. They might leave nasty comments. They might try to get me fired from my own blog. But they can’t interrupt me.
I can’t stop talking heads on cable channels from having counterproductive conversations about race in America (you know, that freedom of speech thing), but I can choose to stop these counterproductive conversations from messing up my normally peaceful life.
So, if I choose not to participate in the “conversation about race in America”, that means I need a way out. If I say out loud, “I choose not to participate in the national conversation about race in America,” then people will wonder why I am defensive and what I’m hiding. So I need to not participate without appearing like I’m trying not to participate.
And I have a way.
I tried it once a couple days ago, and it seemed to work. A person was talking about race in America (and making others feel uncomfortable or angry) at a social gathering. I let the person finish his point. I smiled (hopefully it didn’t look fake). I maintained eye contact.
Then I said, “I understand what you mean.”
I took a quick dramatic breath (to show I was going to speak again).
Then I said really loudly to everybody, “Hey, what do you guys think about Peyton Manning going to the Broncos?”
Others leapt at the new topic, and the tension in the room dissipated almost immediately.
*****
Talking about race in America can be uncomfortable, and most of the time nothing good comes from it. It’s a sensitive subject, better written about than spoken.
But if somebody is absolutely bound and determined to start a “conversation about race in America” with you, and bringing up Peyton Manning can’t divert the course, I’ve got a back-up topic for you.
“Hey, what the heck are the New York Jets going to do with Tim Tebow, anyway?”
Enjoy the moment, because you're about to be upstaged by a porn star! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
This is the perfect story for Dysfunctional Literacy because I don’t think you can find three things more dysfunctional than Twitter, prom, and porn.
Twitter is dysfunctional because people who don’t know how to write are trying to communicate with 140 characters or less. Prom is dysfunctional because it’s a formal event where kids who normally don’t have dates are expected to have dates. And porn is dysfunctional because it’s porn.
*****
So there’s some high school kid (whose name I won’t use, even though it does sound like a porn name, which makes me wonder if this story is an early April Fool’s hoax) who managed to get a porn star to go to prom with him by sending out a bunch of Twitter invitations. I had never heard of this Megan Piper, but now I have to look her up, just out of curiosity (which might be why she accepted the invitation).
It makes sense. If Mila Kunis or Justin Timberlake can escort marines to the military ball, why can’t a porn star take a high school kid to prom?
Yeah, it may be a sign of the end of Western civilization, but here’s why I’m impressed. When I was in high school, I had to work really hard to get rejected by potential prom dates. I called them on the phone and got rejected. I talked to them at their lockers and got rejected. I tossed pebbles at their bedroom windows and got rejected. Yeah, I got rejected, but I earned it.
This high school kid, instead of taking the normal venues of rejection (which I’m guessing he already did with the girls at his school) wrote his prom date invitations to porn stars on Twitter. This is awesome! No more embarrassing phone calls. No more humiliating locker letdowns. No more parents with shotguns chasing boys from their front yards. All you do is send out a blanket invitation to porn starlets via Twitter, and there’s nothing to lose.
Just because I said this is a cool idea doesn’t mean this is a good idea.
There’s a lot of bad judgment that goes into a situation like this. I don’t blame the high school kid because a high school kid is supposed to have bad judgment.
I don’t even blame the porn star all that much. Yeah, she’s an adult (at least the porn industry better hope she’s an adult), but porn stars are known for having bad judgment; otherwise they wouldn’t be porn stars. So I let her off the hook.
I don’t blame Twitter because stupid stuff is supposed to happen on Twitter, and this is pretty stupid.
I don’t blame the school because they told the high school kid that he can’t bring a porn star to prom, which is pretty much what a school should do.
I don’t blame the parents because that’s the easy thing to do, and I hate taking the easy way out.
Since I really should blame the parents but won’t, there’s pretty much nobody else to blame, so I’m going to ride this one out and see if the date actually happens.
Even though this might be the end of Western civilization, a part of me is jealous. When I was 18, we didn’t have internet porn because we didn’t have the internet. We had just gotten video cassette recorders and hadn’t yet figured out that we could rent porn with them. The only other place to see porn was at a… ugh, it’s too disgusting to even talk about.
Let’s just say that I’d rather go porn-less than do what had to be done to see porn back then.
When I was in high school, I didn’t have Twitter, I couldn’t watch internet porn, and I couldn’t get a date to prom. Yeah, part of me is jealous of that high school kid who got a porn star date to prom, but I think in the long run, I’m probably better off.
To catch a serial killer you must think like a… guy who writes weird poetry and short stories. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
It used to be that Hollywood was satisfied with butchering classic novels. They made Sherlock Holmes an action hero. They gave The Three Musketeers fighting zeppelins(?). They gave I, Robot an uprising and loud violence. But it seems Hollywood is no longer satisfied by tinkering with the classics.
Now they also want to butcher the authors of classic literature. The upcoming movie The Raven is about Edgar Allen Poe trying to catch a serial killer inspired by his own stories. Okay, if you want to take some liberties with Edgar Allen Poe’s life, that’s understandable. Hollywood is known for taking liberties. But did they have to turn this into another serial killer movie? I have the feeling I’ve seen this movie several times before I’ve even seen it.
I understand that Hollywood has to make movies that they think people want to see, and people don’t want to see a film about a (probably) creepy guy who marries his teenage cousin, and dies drunk and broke. That could be a bit of a downer. But all they had to do was make his cousin hot (and adult, of course) with a lot of cleavage, turn Edgar Allen Poe into a fun drunk talking to a raven that speaks English, and it could have been like The Hangover in 1840s Baltimore.
I might have paid money to see that movie.
*****
“The Raven” by Edgar Allen Poe.
I don’t read poetry, and “The Raven” is a perfect example why. It’s short (which is good) but complicated (which is bad). Readers argue over what it means, like what is “Nevermore” referring to. To me, a talking bird is a talking bird, and if there’s a metaphor (or something literary) involved, I get confused, and I don’t always trust other people’s interpretations of what the poems mean.
*****
Edgar Allen Poe short stories
Edgar Allen Poe was one of the first authors to write short story mysteries, and the amazing thing is that these stories still hold up. “The Tell Tale Heart” is still awesome. It’s way better than reading Crime and Punishment by some Russian author with a last name that I can’t spell. “The Cask of Amontillado” is one of the few stories that riveted my entire English class when I was in 9th grade.
My 9th grade English teacher had to be disappointed in us, though. She worked really hard to point out all the literary devices that Poe weaved into his stories, and we snickered as we pointed out words like “damn” and “hell” in the literature book.
My 9th grade English teacher might have been disappointed in our behavior, but she might be proud that I’ve started a blog about literacy. Then again, she might not be proud of my BEST JOKES EVER!!
*****
That’s So Raven by Disney Channel
I didn’t care for the show when it was on, but now that it’s been replaced by stuff like Ant Farm and Jessie, I appreciate it more. It’s sad when I yearn for the days that Disney Channel had shows like That’s So Raven and The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, shows that were only mildly annoying instead of mind-numbingly annoying.
*****
I know it’s lame that I concluded my literary analysis of Edgar Allen Poe with a section devoted to That’s So Raven. I wanted to tie the Baltimore Ravens to the poem and movie and put the Baltimore Ravens in the title of this analysis (because I love football), but for the life of me I couldn’t think of a way to link the Baltimore Ravens to Edgar Allen Poe.
Back in 2007 when then Senator Joe Biden said something really stupid about then Senator Barack Obama, I predicted Biden’s political career was done! And then he became vice-president. I’m still not sure if I was proven right or not. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Politicians say stupid things. Rick Santorum recently said something stupid about unemployment. Mitt Romney recently said something stupid about grits and southerners. President Obama said something stupid about Rutherford B. Hayes and technology. On any given day, you can make a list of politicians and the dumb things they say.
I don’t hold it against politicians when they say stupid things. They talk for about 12 hours a day, and almost every word is recorded, so in all that footage, any person is going to slip. If somebody followed me around all day recording everything I said, I would make Joe Biden look like a genius.
That’s why I like writing. With writing, I can revise and edit my statements. If I compose something stupid, I can go back later and change it. I have complete control, and my impulses have almost no influence on me in the long term.
But real life isn’t that kind.
*****
I was at the grocery store with my daughter after work, and we had found what we thought was the shortest check out line. There was an old lady fumbling through her purse getting ready to pay, so I thought I was home free. The other customers were in longer lines while I had myself a clear shot at a quick exit.
I had just placed all my groceries on the belt when I looked up and realized…. The old lady was writing a check.
I was so shocked that I said to my daughter, “Damn! It’s been years since I’ve seen anybody write a check in a grocery line.”
My daughter looked at me horrified. The cashier looked at me horrified. The old lady looked at me cranky and began to write more slowly on purpose (I have no proof it was on purpose, but I’m pretty sure it was, and I actually respect her for it) and kept me in line for another few minutes. Well played, old lady. Well played.
If I were a politician, I would have been called insensitive to the poor, insensitive to the technologically backward, and even worse, insensitive to elderly women, because if there’s one demographic group guaranteed to vote, it’s old ladies.
I cannot blame politicians for saying stupid things. They talk all day, probably non-stop. I interact with maybe five people on any given day, and I still messed up one of my interactions, so when politicians say something stupid, I’m not going to hold it against them anymore.
Now I will still hold it against politicians when they propose and legislate stupid policies, but… that’s for another time.
It’s not a defense of Joe Paterno that offends me; it’s that he tried to tweet it in 140 characters or less!- Ashton Kutcher at Time 100 Gala (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Most real writers understand that writing is a process. True writers go through several steps before letting anybody else read their work. There might be some brainstorming (which I always ignored), a rough draft, lots and lots of revisions, careful inspection of the final draft, and much banging of the head over an opening sentence.
But with emails, texts, blogs, Facebooks, and tweets, many people who have never appreciated the writing process now write a lot (sometimes way too much). Some of these internet writers don’t realize that there are rules to writing, and I’m not talking about grammar (I already learned my lesson with Dysfunctional Grammar a few months ago).
With inexperienced writers on the internet come disastrous tweets, emails which need retracting, texts that need explaining, Facebook blunders, and incomprehensible blogs. In order to avoid humiliation, the inexperienced writer should follow a few simple rules. You don’t have to be a grammarian (please… don’t be a grammarian), but for your own good, please follow this advice.
*****
The Four Circumstances Where You Should Never Publish What You Write
1. When you are emotional
It’s okay to write stuff when you’re angry, or sad, or aroused, or in any other extreme emotion. But you’d be better off waiting until you’re in the right frame of mind before you actually publish it. Extremely emotional tweets can be very entertaining, but most people don’t write emotional stuff to entertain; they write extremely emotional stuff to vent.
Venting should be done in private. Then when you’re calm, go over it (delete all the adjectives and insults), and then… maybe… think about publishing it.
2. When you are drunk (or in a similar condition)
When you’re drunk (or in a similar condition), you don’t have control over your faculties (or is it “facilities”?), so obviously you shouldn’t be writing. The problem is that people who aren’t in control of their faculties often don’t realize they aren’t in control of their faculties. I once wrote (what I thought was) an awesome joke when I wasn’t in control of my faculties and the next morning realized it said something like: “Lkomp gmbpg ju tyggdew bjklr!”
One commenter said it was the best joke I had ever written.
3. When you are in a hurry
Always take a moment to think through your writing before you publish it. I once had a writing instructor say that a writer should leave a rough draft alone for six months before proofreading it. Unfortunately, I did that with my tweets, and got stuck with a bunch of 140 character Michelle Bachmann jokes that are out of date.
Still, if you’re tweeting or texting, at least look them over closely before you send them. Think about the appropriateness of what you wrote and make sure the automatic spell check didn’t mess anything up.
4. When you are multi-tasking
Some activities can be multi-tasked, and others can’t. I can fold my laundry and watch football at the same time. But there are at least three things you shouldn’t multi-task during: driving, reading legal documents, and writing.
Writing while doing something else can lead to disastrous mistakes. Yeah, it might just be a missing word, but it could also mean sending the wrong message to the wrong people. And that’s way worse than using the wrong form of “their” or “two.”
*****
The great thing about this internet thing is that more people are writing. I’m not a snob that thinks only true professional writers should write (otherwise, I wouldn’t be writing). Also, I love an entertaining meltdown just as much as anyone else. I just want to make sure the entertaining internet meltdown happens to somebody else, and not to me or to you.
Maybe some people are born to read aloud what others write for them (and make tons of money for it). Perhaps these same people should not try to write for themselves. Image via Wikipedia
An unintended consequence of the internet is that a lot of people who used to never write are now writing. People who would never write letters (like we used to do in the old days) now write about their personal lives and opinions in emails, blogs, Facebook, and tweets.
The problem is that a lot of the people writing aren’t truly writers. They’re talkers, using writing as a tool. Talkers are charming and personable, so when they say something tacky, people laugh and forgive it. But when a charming talker tweets a tacky comment or puts it on Facebook, it can be seen by countless people who don’t know how personable and charming the charming talker really is.
If charm and personality are taken out of the equation, then all that’s left is the tacky comment. And then clients are dropped, jobs are lost, and insincere public apologies are made.
I kind of feel sorry for these charming talkers; they’re getting punished for writing the kinds of things that they’ve been saying all their lives (and probably have been praised for saying them too). It has to be really confusing for them.
DISASTROUS CELEBRITY TWEETS
But there is a positive side to internet writing.
Disastrous celebrity tweets demonstrate how important good writing is. Take Alec Baldwin, for instance. Give him a good writer (like Tina Fey), and he seems like a charming, funny guy. However, when he writes his own tweets (or leaves his own messages on the phone), he comes across as angry and obnoxious.
That’s the difference between good writing and bad improvising.
BACK TO THE TOPIC
It might be funny when a celebrity loses an advertising gig for tweeting a tacky joke about a natural disaster, but it’s not as funny when a teacher loses her job for writing about an unruly class on Facebook. We normal people have to be careful about what we write. We have to protect our livelihoods, so here’s my advice.
Here are four topics you probably shouldn’t write about on the internet:
1. Personal problems
Don’t get me wrong; I love reading about other people’s problems. But if you choose to write about it publicly, a lot of people who aren’t really your friends are going to read it. You’re basically providing free entertainment to readers you don’t know. It’s probably even worse if they do know you.
2. Personal Vices
Vices are really fun. Whether it’s getting drunk, getting high, hanging out with strippers (helping them through college), tearing up property during a protest, it’s best if you don’t brag about it. If you do write about your vices, make it sound fictional.
3. Job related issues
Writing is a blast, but getting paid is way better. If I ever criticize my boss or employer or anybody who is giving me money, I do it behind the scenes so that it can’t get traced back to me. I’m not going to put it in an e-mail, or a tweet, or on Facebook.
And the few times I absolutely have to take a stand (It happens!), I am very careful about what I write. At the very least, that means deleting a lot of adjectives.
4. Jokes that aren’t funny
Yeah, I know this whole blog is filled with jokes that aren’t funny. I get it. At least when I write a bunch of lame, tasteless jokes, I’ll title it something like BEST LAME, TASTELESS JOKES EVER! You know what to expect from me, there’s a context to the lame jokes, and I don’t attach them to my name, or my employer, or anybody who knows me.
*****
I don’t think many people will follow my advice. If they did, the internet would be a boring place, and that would be bad. You just might want to make sure it’s others providing the free entertainment, and not you.
That is, unless you enjoy providing the free entertainment.
