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Best Spring Break Joke Ever!

February 19, 2012
Bridges Bikini Contest, August 2008.

Yeah, this picture needs a beach, some beer, and some gawking guys, but a bunch of women in bikinis is a great start for a Spring Break Joke! Image via Wikipedia

An average Spring Break joke has to have several elements that make Spring Break awesome: the beach, beer, hot women in bikinis, and guys trying to have a bunch of one-night-stands.  If the joke also has a decent punch line, then it might just be a BEST SPRING BREAK JOKE EVER!! 


Three midwestern college guys (a hunk, a smooth talker, and an intellectual) traveled to a beach during Spring Break.  The hunk and the smooth talker were going for obvious reasons (beer, women in bikinis, and drunk women in bikinis), but they couldn’t figure out why the intellectual was going.  

“I’m going on Spring Break to have a few and to get some,” the hunk said.  “Why are you going?” 

“I’m studying the mating habits of inebriated women in unfamiliar surroundings,” the intellectual said. 

“Good for you,” the smooth talker said.  Both the hunk and the smooth talker were a bit uncomfortable around the intellectual, but he was quiet and paid more than his fair share, so he was welcomed on the trip. 

When they got to the hotel room, the hunk and the smooth talker worked out sleeping (with women) arrangements so that they had a schedule that wouldn’t interfere with each other.  Since the intellectual wasn’t going to bring back any women, his sleeping (by himself) schedule would be flexible. 

Later that day, both the hunk and the smooth talker returned to the hotel room, each with a bikini clad partner, at the same time.  Since this wasn’t supposed to happen, they began arguing about the arrangement. 

“I get 7:00 to 9:00,” the hunk said. 

“No, that’s your time tomorrow night,” the smooth talker replied (he was lying but figured he could smooth talk the hunk into believing him).  They would have argued for a few more minutes, but one of the bikini-clad women spoke up. 

“Can you two argue about this inside?” she asked.  “I really need to use the bathroom.” 

When they opened the hotel door, they were stunned to see the intellectual naked in bed with two really hot women (no longer wearing their bikinis).  It was pretty obvious what had been going on, and both the hunk and the smooth talker were flabbergasted.  Their female partners were already in the bathroom and didn’t care. 

“But… but… but…,” the hunk said. 

“You said you were here to study the mating habits of inebriated women in unfamiliar surroundings,” the smooth talker said. 

“That’s why I’m an intellectual,” the intellectual said.  “I can understand your euphemisms, but you don’t understand mine.”

From → Best Jokes Ever!

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