Enjoy the moment, because you're about to be upstaged by a porn star! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
This is the perfect story for Dysfunctional Literacy because I don’t think you can find three things more dysfunctional than Twitter, prom, and porn.
Twitter is dysfunctional because people who don’t know how to write are trying to communicate with 140 characters or less. Prom is dysfunctional because it’s a formal event where kids who normally don’t have dates are expected to have dates. And porn is dysfunctional because it’s porn.
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So there’s some high school kid (whose name I won’t use, even though it does sound like a porn name, which makes me wonder if this story is an early April Fool’s hoax) who managed to get a porn star to go to prom with him by sending out a bunch of Twitter invitations. I had never heard of this Megan Piper, but now I have to look her up, just out of curiosity (which might be why she accepted the invitation).
It makes sense. If Mila Kunis or Justin Timberlake can escort marines to the military ball, why can’t a porn star take a high school kid to prom?
Yeah, it may be a sign of the end of Western civilization, but here’s why I’m impressed. When I was in high school, I had to work really hard to get rejected by potential prom dates. I called them on the phone and got rejected. I talked to them at their lockers and got rejected. I tossed pebbles at their bedroom windows and got rejected. Yeah, I got rejected, but I earned it.
This high school kid, instead of taking the normal venues of rejection (which I’m guessing he already did with the girls at his school) wrote his prom date invitations to porn stars on Twitter. This is awesome! No more embarrassing phone calls. No more humiliating locker letdowns. No more parents with shotguns chasing boys from their front yards. All you do is send out a blanket invitation to porn starlets via Twitter, and there’s nothing to lose.
Just because I said this is a cool idea doesn’t mean this is a good idea.
There’s a lot of bad judgment that goes into a situation like this. I don’t blame the high school kid because a high school kid is supposed to have bad judgment.
I don’t even blame the porn star all that much. Yeah, she’s an adult (at least the porn industry better hope she’s an adult), but porn stars are known for having bad judgment; otherwise they wouldn’t be porn stars. So I let her off the hook.
I don’t blame Twitter because stupid stuff is supposed to happen on Twitter, and this is pretty stupid.
I don’t blame the school because they told the high school kid that he can’t bring a porn star to prom, which is pretty much what a school should do.
I don’t blame the parents because that’s the easy thing to do, and I hate taking the easy way out.
Since I really should blame the parents but won’t, there’s pretty much nobody else to blame, so I’m going to ride this one out and see if the date actually happens.
Even though this might be the end of Western civilization, a part of me is jealous. When I was 18, we didn’t have internet porn because we didn’t have the internet. We had just gotten video cassette recorders and hadn’t yet figured out that we could rent porn with them. The only other place to see porn was at a… ugh, it’s too disgusting to even talk about.
Let’s just say that I’d rather go porn-less than do what had to be done to see porn back then.
When I was in high school, I didn’t have Twitter, I couldn’t watch internet porn, and I couldn’t get a date to prom. Yeah, part of me is jealous of that high school kid who got a porn star date to prom, but I think in the long run, I’m probably better off.
To catch a serial killer you must think like a… guy who writes weird poetry and short stories. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
It used to be that Hollywood was satisfied with butchering classic novels. They made Sherlock Holmes an action hero. They gave The Three Musketeers fighting zeppelins(?). They gave I, Robot an uprising and loud violence. But it seems Hollywood is no longer satisfied by tinkering with the classics.
Now they also want to butcher the authors of classic literature. The upcoming movie The Raven is about Edgar Allen Poe trying to catch a serial killer inspired by his own stories. Okay, if you want to take some liberties with Edgar Allen Poe’s life, that’s understandable. Hollywood is known for taking liberties. But did they have to turn this into another serial killer movie? I have the feeling I’ve seen this movie several times before I’ve even seen it.
I understand that Hollywood has to make movies that they think people want to see, and people don’t want to see a film about a (probably) creepy guy who marries his teenage cousin, and dies drunk and broke. That could be a bit of a downer. But all they had to do was make his cousin hot (and adult, of course) with a lot of cleavage, turn Edgar Allen Poe into a fun drunk talking to a raven that speaks English, and it could have been like The Hangover in 1840s Baltimore.
I might have paid money to see that movie.
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“The Raven” by Edgar Allen Poe.
I don’t read poetry, and “The Raven” is a perfect example why. It’s short (which is good) but complicated (which is bad). Readers argue over what it means, like what is “Nevermore” referring to. To me, a talking bird is a talking bird, and if there’s a metaphor (or something literary) involved, I get confused, and I don’t always trust other people’s interpretations of what the poems mean.
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Edgar Allen Poe short stories
Edgar Allen Poe was one of the first authors to write short story mysteries, and the amazing thing is that these stories still hold up. “The Tell Tale Heart” is still awesome. It’s way better than reading Crime and Punishment by some Russian author with a last name that I can’t spell. “The Cask of Amontillado” is one of the few stories that riveted my entire English class when I was in 9th grade.
My 9th grade English teacher had to be disappointed in us, though. She worked really hard to point out all the literary devices that Poe weaved into his stories, and we snickered as we pointed out words like “damn” and “hell” in the literature book.
My 9th grade English teacher might have been disappointed in our behavior, but she might be proud that I’ve started a blog about literacy. Then again, she might not be proud of my BEST JOKES EVER!!
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That’s So Raven by Disney Channel
I didn’t care for the show when it was on, but now that it’s been replaced by stuff like Ant Farm and Jessie, I appreciate it more. It’s sad when I yearn for the days that Disney Channel had shows like That’s So Raven and The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, shows that were only mildly annoying instead of mind-numbingly annoying.
*****
I know it’s lame that I concluded my literary analysis of Edgar Allen Poe with a section devoted to That’s So Raven. I wanted to tie the Baltimore Ravens to the poem and movie and put the Baltimore Ravens in the title of this analysis (because I love football), but for the life of me I couldn’t think of a way to link the Baltimore Ravens to Edgar Allen Poe.
Back in 2007 when then Senator Joe Biden said something really stupid about then Senator Barack Obama, I predicted Biden’s political career was done! And then he became vice-president. I’m still not sure if I was proven right or not. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Politicians say stupid things. Rick Santorum recently said something stupid about unemployment. Mitt Romney recently said something stupid about grits and southerners. President Obama said something stupid about Rutherford B. Hayes and technology. On any given day, you can make a list of politicians and the dumb things they say.
I don’t hold it against politicians when they say stupid things. They talk for about 12 hours a day, and almost every word is recorded, so in all that footage, any person is going to slip. If somebody followed me around all day recording everything I said, I would make Joe Biden look like a genius.
That’s why I like writing. With writing, I can revise and edit my statements. If I compose something stupid, I can go back later and change it. I have complete control, and my impulses have almost no influence on me in the long term.
But real life isn’t that kind.
*****
I was at the grocery store with my daughter after work, and we had found what we thought was the shortest check out line. There was an old lady fumbling through her purse getting ready to pay, so I thought I was home free. The other customers were in longer lines while I had myself a clear shot at a quick exit.
I had just placed all my groceries on the belt when I looked up and realized…. The old lady was writing a check.
I was so shocked that I said to my daughter, “Damn! It’s been years since I’ve seen anybody write a check in a grocery line.”
My daughter looked at me horrified. The cashier looked at me horrified. The old lady looked at me cranky and began to write more slowly on purpose (I have no proof it was on purpose, but I’m pretty sure it was, and I actually respect her for it) and kept me in line for another few minutes. Well played, old lady. Well played.
If I were a politician, I would have been called insensitive to the poor, insensitive to the technologically backward, and even worse, insensitive to elderly women, because if there’s one demographic group guaranteed to vote, it’s old ladies.
I cannot blame politicians for saying stupid things. They talk all day, probably non-stop. I interact with maybe five people on any given day, and I still messed up one of my interactions, so when politicians say something stupid, I’m not going to hold it against them anymore.
Now I will still hold it against politicians when they propose and legislate stupid policies, but… that’s for another time.
It’s not a defense of Joe Paterno that offends me; it’s that he tried to tweet it in 140 characters or less!- Ashton Kutcher at Time 100 Gala (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Most real writers understand that writing is a process. True writers go through several steps before letting anybody else read their work. There might be some brainstorming (which I always ignored), a rough draft, lots and lots of revisions, careful inspection of the final draft, and much banging of the head over an opening sentence.
But with emails, texts, blogs, Facebooks, and tweets, many people who have never appreciated the writing process now write a lot (sometimes way too much). Some of these internet writers don’t realize that there are rules to writing, and I’m not talking about grammar (I already learned my lesson with Dysfunctional Grammar a few months ago).
With inexperienced writers on the internet come disastrous tweets, emails which need retracting, texts that need explaining, Facebook blunders, and incomprehensible blogs. In order to avoid humiliation, the inexperienced writer should follow a few simple rules. You don’t have to be a grammarian (please… don’t be a grammarian), but for your own good, please follow this advice.
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The Four Circumstances Where You Should Never Publish What You Write
1. When you are emotional
It’s okay to write stuff when you’re angry, or sad, or aroused, or in any other extreme emotion. But you’d be better off waiting until you’re in the right frame of mind before you actually publish it. Extremely emotional tweets can be very entertaining, but most people don’t write emotional stuff to entertain; they write extremely emotional stuff to vent.
Venting should be done in private. Then when you’re calm, go over it (delete all the adjectives and insults), and then… maybe… think about publishing it.
2. When you are drunk (or in a similar condition)
When you’re drunk (or in a similar condition), you don’t have control over your faculties (or is it “facilities”?), so obviously you shouldn’t be writing. The problem is that people who aren’t in control of their faculties often don’t realize they aren’t in control of their faculties. I once wrote (what I thought was) an awesome joke when I wasn’t in control of my faculties and the next morning realized it said something like: “Lkomp gmbpg ju tyggdew bjklr!”
One commenter said it was the best joke I had ever written.
3. When you are in a hurry
Always take a moment to think through your writing before you publish it. I once had a writing instructor say that a writer should leave a rough draft alone for six months before proofreading it. Unfortunately, I did that with my tweets, and got stuck with a bunch of 140 character Michelle Bachmann jokes that are out of date.
Still, if you’re tweeting or texting, at least look them over closely before you send them. Think about the appropriateness of what you wrote and make sure the automatic spell check didn’t mess anything up.
4. When you are multi-tasking
Some activities can be multi-tasked, and others can’t. I can fold my laundry and watch football at the same time. But there are at least three things you shouldn’t multi-task during: driving, reading legal documents, and writing.
Writing while doing something else can lead to disastrous mistakes. Yeah, it might just be a missing word, but it could also mean sending the wrong message to the wrong people. And that’s way worse than using the wrong form of “their” or “two.”
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The great thing about this internet thing is that more people are writing. I’m not a snob that thinks only true professional writers should write (otherwise, I wouldn’t be writing). Also, I love an entertaining meltdown just as much as anyone else. I just want to make sure the entertaining internet meltdown happens to somebody else, and not to me or to you.
Maybe some people are born to read aloud what others write for them (and make tons of money for it). Perhaps these same people should not try to write for themselves. Image via Wikipedia
An unintended consequence of the internet is that a lot of people who used to never write are now writing. People who would never write letters (like we used to do in the old days) now write about their personal lives and opinions in emails, blogs, Facebook, and tweets.
The problem is that a lot of the people writing aren’t truly writers. They’re talkers, using writing as a tool. Talkers are charming and personable, so when they say something tacky, people laugh and forgive it. But when a charming talker tweets a tacky comment or puts it on Facebook, it can be seen by countless people who don’t know how personable and charming the charming talker really is.
If charm and personality are taken out of the equation, then all that’s left is the tacky comment. And then clients are dropped, jobs are lost, and insincere public apologies are made.
I kind of feel sorry for these charming talkers; they’re getting punished for writing the kinds of things that they’ve been saying all their lives (and probably have been praised for saying them too). It has to be really confusing for them.
DISASTROUS CELEBRITY TWEETS
But there is a positive side to internet writing.
Disastrous celebrity tweets demonstrate how important good writing is. Take Alec Baldwin, for instance. Give him a good writer (like Tina Fey), and he seems like a charming, funny guy. However, when he writes his own tweets (or leaves his own messages on the phone), he comes across as angry and obnoxious.
That’s the difference between good writing and bad improvising.
BACK TO THE TOPIC
It might be funny when a celebrity loses an advertising gig for tweeting a tacky joke about a natural disaster, but it’s not as funny when a teacher loses her job for writing about an unruly class on Facebook. We normal people have to be careful about what we write. We have to protect our livelihoods, so here’s my advice.
Here are four topics you probably shouldn’t write about on the internet:
1. Personal problems
Don’t get me wrong; I love reading about other people’s problems. But if you choose to write about it publicly, a lot of people who aren’t really your friends are going to read it. You’re basically providing free entertainment to readers you don’t know. It’s probably even worse if they do know you.
2. Personal Vices
Vices are really fun. Whether it’s getting drunk, getting high, hanging out with strippers (helping them through college), tearing up property during a protest, it’s best if you don’t brag about it. If you do write about your vices, make it sound fictional.
3. Job related issues
Writing is a blast, but getting paid is way better. If I ever criticize my boss or employer or anybody who is giving me money, I do it behind the scenes so that it can’t get traced back to me. I’m not going to put it in an e-mail, or a tweet, or on Facebook.
And the few times I absolutely have to take a stand (It happens!), I am very careful about what I write. At the very least, that means deleting a lot of adjectives.
4. Jokes that aren’t funny
Yeah, I know this whole blog is filled with jokes that aren’t funny. I get it. At least when I write a bunch of lame, tasteless jokes, I’ll title it something like BEST LAME, TASTELESS JOKES EVER! You know what to expect from me, there’s a context to the lame jokes, and I don’t attach them to my name, or my employer, or anybody who knows me.
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I don’t think many people will follow my advice. If they did, the internet would be a boring place, and that would be bad. You just might want to make sure it’s others providing the free entertainment, and not you.
That is, unless you enjoy providing the free entertainment.
Who will Leonardo DiCaprio be miscast as next? Perhaps as Atticus Finch in a To Kill a Mockingbird remake? Maybe as Moses in a remake of The Ten Commandments? Image via Wikipedia
Leonardo DiCaprio might be the Justin Bieber of actors (but with a better haircut). Yeah, he’s talented, but I get suspicious of talented performers when people in the industry have to explain to the general public just how talented these talented performers are.
Because Leonardo DiCaprio is so talented, he has a history of being miscast. He was miscast in The Aviator. He was miscast in J. Edgar. He was miscast in Gangs of New York. He was miscast in Shutter Island. I think it’s obvious where I’m going with this.
Okay, Leonardo DiCaprio might not be miscast as Jay Gatsby in The Great Gatsby, but he’s been miscast so many times in major roles that I’m not going to see Jay Gatsby; I’m going to see Leonardo DiCaprio pretending to be Jay Gatsby.
I have the same problem with other stars who have been miscast in too many films, stars such as Tom Cruise, Nicholas Cage, Brad Pitt, Halle Berry, Meryl Streep, etc. But that’s a discussion for another time.
F. Scott Fitzgerald: He does kind of resemble Leonardo DiCaprio (or is it the other way around?). Image via Wikipedia
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Remember, this is not necessarily a critique of the novel. If you get too critical of The Great Gatsby nowadays, you get accused of “not getting it.” My purpose here is to demonstrate how a great novel (I “get it”) can potentially make a lousy movie.
The Great Gatsby is short, which is good. Too many authors today would take the same story, over-write it into 800 pages and then turn it into a trilogy (or even worse, a meandering series that doesn’t know where it’s going).
I respect the 120 page book that is considered a great American classic. If more authors wrote 120 page books, I’d read more books. If George R. Martin could fit his 120 pages worth of story in each A Song of Ice and Fire novel into 120 pages (instead of 500), I’d read them. If Tom Clancy could fit his 120 pages of Jack Ryan stories into… naw, I’m done with Tom Clancy.
Yes, The Great Gatsby has a nice symmetry to it. Yes, the writing is often fantastic. But I don’t need a hammer slammed against my head to realize that the wealthy can be shallow. I know a lot of shallow poor people too. I even know a couple middle class folk that are shallow as well. Shallowness is a fairly common human quality.
What I object to in this novel (just a little bit) is the humorless shallowness. Most really shallow, cynical people I know also are kind of funny. And there isn’t much humor in The Great Gatsby. It’s not meant to be a comedy, but even dramas can be funny. Even Shakespearean tragedies have humorous moments. But I can’t recall a time I even cracked a smile while reading The Great Gatsby.
The writing also has a “tell instead of show” quality that bugs some readers who have taken writing classes in the last 30 years or so. I don’t mind a paragraph that interprets a character’s personality from his smile. Some readers do. Some readers also think Fitzgerald is showing off when he “tells” like that, but I don’t care because the novel is still short, compact, very tight, and doesn’t waste the reader’s time like a lot of classics do.
HOW DOES THIS AFFECT THE MOVIE?
The novel’s strengths will probably be its weaknesses as a movie.
The novel is great because of Fitzgerald’s writing style, but I’m not sure how that writing style translates onto a screen. The actors are going to have to do a lot of emoting to translate Fitzgerald’s writing. And since there’s not much humor, it’s going to be very dramatic emoting, the kind that can make a film overwrought and dreary. The film will probably be great for high school English teachers who need a day off after teaching The Great Gatsby, but I have serious doubts that the movie itself will be that good as a “movie” experience.
For some reason I thought she would appreciate my sense of humor, but she was obviously offended by my offensive jokes, and I am offended by her offensive reaction. Image via Wikipedia
An offensive joke is an anecdote that makes a person cringe while hearing (or telling) it. We know we shouldn’t laugh, but sometimes we still do. A BEST OFFENSIVE JOKE EVER is an anecdote where the listener expects to shudder or cringe, but instead is relieved at the end. The following anecdotes might not be the funniest offensive jokes ever, but since they aren’t as tasteless as they could be, these are some the BEST OFFENSIVE JOKES EVER!!
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A SEXUAL HARRASSMENT JOKE
A lawyer was on the phone in his office, and a client was waiting patiently next to the lawyer’s desk. While the lawyer was still talking quietly, his secretary strolled into his office. The client raised his eyebrows at this vision of beauty. She wore a tight dress which displayed ample natural cleavage and curved smoothly around her backside. She confidently placed a file on her boss’s desk, bending down a bit so that the lawyer and his client could get an eyeful.
“Thank… you,” the lawyer said, almost mechanically, not making eye contact with the secretary. “I… appreciate… all… the… competent… work… you… do.”
When the secretary left the office, the client almost commented about the lawyer’s self-restraint, but the lawyer signaled him to be quiet for another moment.
After the phone conversation was over, the client said, “Time’s have changed. A few years ago you would have said something lewd or suggestive to that babe.”
“Yeah,” the lawyer said. “But I’ve learned that sometimes I have to be careful with what I say.”
The client shook his head. “It’s that sexual harassment political correctness run amok.”
“No,” the lawyer said. “That was my wife on the phone.”
*****
A RACIST JOKE
A racist was driving down the street, marveling at the inferiority of all the drivers around him.
“Look at that stupid (colorful, racist expletive),” the racist said. “Driving with the bass turned up so high the pavement shakes. What a dumb (colorful, racist expletive).”
“And look at that stupid (colorful, racist expletive),” the racist said, staring at another car. “The hood and trunk of his car are moving up and down so much it looks like the car is humping the street. What a dumb (colorful, racist expletive).”
“Now look at that stupid (colorful, racist expletive),” the racist said. “Driving so slow that he’s causing a traffic jam. What a dumb (colorful, racist expletive).”
Then the racist noticed a police car behind him with its siren on.
“Of course, I’m the one that gets pulled over,” the racist muttered.
“Sir,” the police officer said after the racist rolled down his window. “Are you aware that you just ran a red light?”
“I’m sorry, officer,” the racist said. “I don’t see color.”
*****
A PENN STATE JOKE
A Penn State football recruiter was visiting a highly regarded high school player. The recruiter talked about the winning traditions of Penn State and its proud history (and stayed away from mentioning the Sandusky scandal), but despite the recruiter’s best efforts, the high school football player insisted he didn’t plan on going to Penn State.
“Why not?” the recruiter asked, hesitantly. “Is it because of any scandals that you’ve heard about?”
“No, I don’t know about any scandals,” the high school football player said.
“Really?” the recruiter said, perplexed. “Is it about the coaching changes then?”
“No, I don’t mind the coaching changes,” the football player said.
“Is it about our bland uniforms?” the recruiter asked.
“No, I don’t mind your uniforms,” the football player said.
Puzzled, the recruiter asked, “Then why is it that you don’t want to come to Penn State?”
“Because every other university set me up with some really hot college women on my recruiting visits,” the football player said. “At Penn State, all I got was some old naked guy in the shower.”
I’m not even sure what this image means, but a picture of pills and prophylactics simply didn’t seem appealing. And these colors sure are pretty. Image via Wikipedia
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I deleted this blog post because it was kind of stupid, and it doesn’t fit this blog’s purpose. At the time, I was experimenting with search engine algorithms (that’s a whole different topic), and I learned what I needed to learn (and I can write about that another time), but I ended up with dozens of stupid blog posts that aren’t appropriate for my blog’s purpose anymore. I’ve kept other stupid blog posts that actually are appropriate content for Dysfunctional Literacy.
Little did the driver of this shopping cart know that he held the key to everlasting peace between the Israelis and the Palestinians. Image via Wikipedia
I deleted this blog post because it was kind of stupid, and it doesn’t fit this blog’s purpose. At the time, I was experimenting with search engine algorithms (that’s a whole different topic), and I learned what I needed to learn (and I can write about that another time), but I ended up with dozens of stupid blog posts that aren’t appropriate for my blog’s purpose anymore. I’ve kept other stupid blog posts that actually are appropriate content for Dysfunctional Literacy.
Maybe this isn't quite what Isaac Asimov envisioned, but hey, it's still a robot... kind of. Image via Wikipedia
The problem with science fiction is that (despite the word “science”) authors make up the rules as their books progress. Things like warp speed, light years, and subatomic rays can be manipulated by the author to move the plot in illogical ways. Almost every science fiction author (except for maybe George Lucas) has been guilty of this at some time. This is one of the reasons I avoid fantasy in large doses as well.
I, Robot by Isaac Asimov establishes three simple rules at the beginning, and the rest of the book centers around how these rules cause problems as the robots become more sophisticated. Maybe there are some flaws in the logic throughout the book, but I wasn’t smart enough to pick up on them, and I appreciate that. If I’m smart enough to figure out where the sci-fi writer is just making things up, then the sci-fi writer isn’t doing his (and every once in a while “her”) job.
ISAAC ASIMOV IS NOT FOR EVERYBODY
Isaac Asimov can give me a headache. I read the first Foundation book but had to stop in the middle of the second because of Asimov induced migraines. I, Robot didn’t give me a headache. It’s a collection of short stories about robots and the problems that are caused as they get more sophisticated and people rely on them more. Just as a short story was beginning to give me a headache, the problem was resolved and a new story began.
Forget about what I said about headaches; the short stories are actually interesting.
The science fiction and fantasy genre(s) would be better off if more authors established the ground rules early in their books and stuck to them. Then again, I like rules.
I, ROBOT, THE MOVIE
Yeah, it was really stupid, but a book shouldn’t be blamed for the stupidity of the movie that was made based on it… unless the book itself was really stupid.
Other books considered for BEST SCIENCE FICTION BOOK EVER!
The Time Machine or The War of the Worlds by H.G. Wells-
H.G. Wells is almost unreadable by today’s standards. A BEST BOOK EVER has to hold up over time. The stories above are timeless, but the storytelling style isn’t.
Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card- Entertaining, but the main characters are kids, so the book is automatically disqualified.
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams – Humor is subjective, and science fiction fans who don’t like this book can’t get past page 2.
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley and/or 1984 by George Orwell- Great books, but I’m going to exclude dystopian societies from my BEST EVER SCIENCE FICTION list because the point of a dystopian book is almost purely political.
Starship Troopers by Robert Heinlein- A weird book where the classroom scenes are more exciting than the battle scenes. That’s not meant as an insult. Again, a cheesy movie doesn’t count against the book.
Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein- Too weird to be considered.
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury- More dystopian stuff.
The Martian Chronicles– Maybe it was just me, but I thought it was kind of boring.
The Mote in God’s Eye– by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle- Great book, but not really relevant right now (as in I don’t think anybody reads it anymore).
If you like science fiction but haven’t read these classics, pretty much all of these books are worth reading (except for H.G. Wells books because of the “classic” writing style)). If you don’t like science fiction, I, Robot is probably the one you should read. It’s Asimov with no aspirin necessary.
Dysfunctional Literacy 