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Lame Metaphors Suck! A Middle East Peace Joke

March 14, 2012


English: Jewel-Osco - monster shopping cart truck

Little did the driver of this shopping cart know that he held the key to everlasting peace between the Israelis and the Palestinians. Image via Wikipedia


A buff dude was at the supermarket when a scrawny guy rammed his shopping cart into the buff dude’s groceries. 

“Watch where you’re going, man,” the buff dude said. 

“What do you mean?” the scrawny guy shouted.  “My shopping cart was here first, and you moved it when I wasn’t looking so you could put your own cart there.” 

“Somebody else moved your cart, not me,” the buff dude said. “Get mad at the person who moved your cart, and leave me alone.” 

“I want my space back!” the scrawny guy shouted. 

“That doesn’t mean you need to ram your cart into mine,” the buff dude said.  “I just want to load my groceries in peace.”

The scrawny guy took his shopping cart and rammed it again and again into the buff dude’s cart.  

The buff dude got annoyed at this, took a few steps back, found another empty shopping cart, and steamrolled it into the scrawny guy’s cart, knocking it over and spilling all the contents. 

The scrawny guy got another shopping cart from the aisle and rammed it again and again into the buff dude’s new cart.   A crowd gathered around in the market and watched as the two butted various shopping carts in the grocery aisle. 

Two friends, a man of action and an intellectual, were in the crowd and thought about breaking up the dispute.

“If you think about it,” the intellectual said, “you could see this as a metaphor for the conflict in the Middle East.” 

“Metaphor, schmetaphor.  I’m gonna kick that scrawny guy’s butt,” the man of action said. 

“This is how international conflagrations begin,” the intellectual warned. “Two inconsequential entities have a conflict, numerous other entities choose sides, and the next thing you know, violence spirals out of control.  You mustn’t let your political predilections push you into an ill-conceived action.” 

“There’s nothing political about this,” the man of action explained.  “I just noticed that the scrawny guy took my shopping cart.”

From → Jokes/Generic

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