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Awkward Moments in Dating: Getting Stood Up vs. Getting Ditched

March 18, 2019

(image via wikimedia)

Suzanne and I weren’t actually on a date.  Our relationship was completely platonic, and both of us understood that.  So on that Saturday night when I had been waiting for her to show up for our platonic dinner at some generic restaurant (belonging to a chain that still exists today) in 1993, I’d started a conversation in the waiting area with a brunette who had just been stood up ( I explain everything here.).  When I told the brunette that Suzanne and I were “just friends,” Suzanne looked like she’d been offended.

“I can’t believe he just said that in front of you,” Suzanne said to the brunette.

Oh God, I thought, I’d said something inappropriate again.  Despite my polite upbringing, I had a bad habit of making unintentionally inappropriate comments.  Sometimes I wonder what I would have been like without that polite upbringing.

“Maybe you two need to talk,” the brunette said, smiling.  At least she wasn’t fleeing the uncomfortable situation.

“No, he’s right,” Suzanne stated.  “We’re just friends.  I’m surprised he said that in front of you.”

“I wanted to be clear about the nature of our relationship,” I said.  “Not that we’re in a relationship.”

The brunette didn’t respond to that.  Instead, she glanced at the door.  A family with a bunch of kids had just walked in, and we were blocking their way.  I stepped to my right, and then both Suzanne and the brunette moved toward me, and the family nudged past us.

“I think he wants to ask you out,” Suzanne stage whispered to the brunette.

I could feel my ears turn red.  I couldn’t deny what Suzanne had said.  The red ears always give it away.

The brunette grinned.  “But he’s with you,” she said.

“He’s not ‘with me’ with me,” Suzanne replied.

“I just got stood up,” the brunette said.    “I can’t trust a man who ditches his date to ask me out.”

“She’s not getting ditched,” I said.

“Stay out of this,” Suzanne said.  “It’s not about you.”

Suzanne turned back to the brunette.  “He’s very shy.  He doesn’t talk to women much.”

“How is this not about me?” I asked futilely.

“Did he talk to you first?” Suzanne asked.  “Or did you talk to him?”

The brunette paused.  “He talked to me first.”

“He never does that,” Suzanne said.  “He must like you.”

“That’s enough!” I said, maybe too loudly.  I stepped in front of Suzanne.  Nowadays, it would probably be called something like man-blocking or man-terference, but it was necessary.  Suzanne was fem-sabotaging me.  But people didn’t talk like that in the 1990s.

“I apologize for my friend’s behavior,” I said to the brunette.

“I have issues,” Suzanne said.  “That’s what my ex-boyfriend says.”

“Her ex-boyfriend is a jerk,” I said.  “And I’m not her ex-boyfriend.  Or her current boyfriend.”

“You should go out with him,” Suzanne said.

“Only if you want to,” I said.  “But not tonight.  Suzanne and I are hanging out tonight… in a completely platonic way.”

The brunette hesitated.

“You don’t have to decide right now,” I said.  I took out my wallet and pulled out a card with my name and phone number.

Suzanne laughed.  “You have a card?”

“It’s for work,” I said.

“Since when have you had a card?”

“I don’t know, a long time,” I said.  “There’s never been a reason to give you my card.  You know my name and number.”

To be honest, all of that was a lie.  I’d had the cards made after my live-in literary girlfriend broke up with me, and I never used them for work.   This was the first time I’d ever used the card, and I was a little self-conscious about it.  But it was better than asking a woman whom I’d never met to give me her phone number.

The brunette took my card and looked at it.  “James,” she said.  “I’m Kimberly.”

“You’re going by James?” Suzanne said and then turned to the brunette.  “He’s Jimmy to me.”

“Jimmy didn’t look right on the card,” I said.

“I don’t know you anymore,” Suzanne said, shaking her head.

“We’ve only been friends for a few months.”  I noticed that several of the restaurant staff were staring at the three of us blocking one of the benches in the lobby.  We probably looked like loiterers.

“It’s nice to meet you, Kimberly,” I said.  “If you call me and we do something, I promise that she won’t come with us.”  I nodded to Suzanne.

Kimberly still held the card.  “You know this is weird, right?”

Kimberly didn’t say whether or not she’d call, and I didn’t want to seem too hopeful, so somehow we said our goodbye for the evening (or forever).  As Kimberly walked out, a tall handsome guy coming in held the door open for her.  They smiled at each other and she said “Thank you,” and kept walking.  After she cleared the exit, he walked in and glanced around, and I was pretty sure he was by himself.

“You think that was the guy that stood her up?” Suzanne mumbled as we were escorted to our table.

“Is he really standing her up if he shows up, even if it’s 35 minutes late?” I asked.  “And who gets first priority, the guy who’s late or the guy you meet because the guy is late?”

“Whoever I like better gets first priority,” she said.  “And a guy shouldn’t be late at all.  The woman gets 15 minutes.”  We ordered drinks and probably got appetizers too.  We were in our mid-late twenties and still ate everything just for the heck of it.

After a few minutes of conversation, Suzanne said, “I knew you’d want to ask Kimberly out as soon as I saw her.  Even before I saw you talking to her, I knew.”

“I didn’t know you were psychic.”

“It was obvious,” Suzanne explained.  “Kimberly looks just like Daniella.”

Daniella.  My former girlfriend.  The one who’d pulled a knife on me right before we broke up.  Kimberly looked just like her?  Of course, I had a dramatic reaction to that.  And I’ll get to that in the next episode.

*****

To be continued in Awkward Moments in Dating: The Ex-Girlfriend Look Alike !

From → Dysfunctileaks

4 Comments
  1. omg, i couldn’t stop reading….

  2. I love dating stories, but you honestly couldn’t make up some of the bizarre and awkward things that happen in real life dating.

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