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Awkward Moments in Dating: The Ex-Girlfriend Look Alike

March 25, 2019

(image via wikimedia)

I didn’t want to hear that my potential future date looked like my ex-girlfriend.  I had gotten over my ex-girlfriend.  I wasn’t bitter, and I didn’t want her back.  Things were good.  I also didn’t want my friends thinking I was trying to replace my ex-girlfriend with a woman who looked just like her.

Suzanne was just a friend but had known my ex-girlfriend and didn’t like her.  So when Suzanne had said that Kimberly looked like my ex (you can get more details here ), I got a bit defensive.

“She doesn’t look anything like Daniella,” I said.  Even though we were eating at a restaurant, I made sure no food was in my mouth whenever I spoke.

“They both have long, dark hair,” Suzanne replied.  She was sitting across from me in a booth and had to lean forward to speak because the music in the restaurant was loud.

“That’s one-half of the female population in the city,” I said, having no proof to back up my statistic.

“They both wear glasses.”

“Daniella’s were fake,” I said.  “The glasses.”

“Why did she wear fake glasses?” Suzanne asked and then paused.   “I don’t want to know.”

“She wanted to appeal to intelligent guys,” I said.  “And she didn’t really read those classic novels she carried around.”

“You are so shallow,” she laughed.

“Hey, I read the books I carry around,” I said.  “And I’m sure Kimberly does too, if she carries books.  Besides, their personalities seem completely different.”

“Does that matter?” Suzanne asked.  “To such a shallow man?”

“Daniella would have thrown a fit about being stood up,” I said.  “Daniella would have invited herself to sit with us.  Kimberly seems more reserved.  I like reserved.”

“Not too reserved,” Suzanne said.  “You two will never say anything to each other.”

Two quiet people on a date, that could be disastrous, I knew.  Still, I was getting ahead of myself.  Kimberly had my phone number, but that didn’t mean she’d call me.  She could have just thrown my card into the trash, and I’d never hear from her, and all of this speculation would end up being wasted energy.

“If she calls you, I want to know about it,” Suzanne said.

“I don’t do play-by-play,” I declared.  It was true.  I kept my romantic details to myself, even to my male friends.  I lied about the details sometimes (I’m pretty sure my friends were lying too), but I never told too many details.  Just a few to get them off my back, and rarely the truth.

“C’mon,” she said.  “You met because of me.  I deserve details.”

“She might not even call,” I said.

“I’ll be surprised if she doesn’t,” Suzanne said.  “She knows you have a friend like me.  That makes you more attractive to other women.”

I wasn’t sure how that worked.  Looking back, I remembered a bunch of times I’d gotten snubbed by women during social occasions, even when I wasn’t trying to talk to them.  When I was dating Daniella, however, women loved talking to me.  I knew about the “girlfriend effect.”  I wasn’t so sure about the “just friends effect.”

“Or you might have scared her off,” I argued.  “She might think we have something for each other and decide to stay away.”

“She can tell we’re not into each other like that,” Suzanne said.  “Women can sense those things.”

Suzanne actually wanted to bet me ten dollars that Kimberly would call.  I thought about taking the bet.  That way, even if Kimberly didn’t call, I’d win ten dollars.  I like no-lose situations.  But I wanted Kimberly to call more than I wanted the ten dollars, and I didn’t want to bet against my own self-interests, so I declined.

We finally moved away from the topic of Kimberly and discussed more Suzanne-related topics, like the new guy she was stalking and then the stupid people she had to work with.  She was pretty sure the new guy she was interested in already had a girlfriend (which was why she was free to hang out with me on a Saturday night), and she was thinking about parking outside his house to see if he was there (and who was with him).

I didn’t put too much effort into listening about her work-related stories.  Everybody complains about the stupid people they work with, and the listener only gets one side of the story.  There were probably people where I worked who thought I was stupid too.  So I nodded, and a couple times I muttered, “What a bunch of maroons.”

After the platonic dinner and movie (nothing happened between the two of us, of course), I had more time to compare Daniella and Kimberly.  They didn’t really look alike, despite what Suzanne had said.  Daniella and I had been a physical mismatch because she’d flaunted her looks and I was (at best) an average guy who could look presentable on a good day.

Kimberly probably could flaunt her looks if she wanted to but didn’t.  At least, she hadn’t that night.  She hadn’t been forward at all, like Daniella.  I had talked to her first (which I probably wouldn’t have done before I’d met Daniella).

Kimberly seemed to carry herself well.  She seemed to have a good nature.  She probably wouldn’t be anything like my previous ex-girlfriend.

None of this speculation would matter, however, if Kimberly didn’t call.

But she did.

And I’ll get to that in the next episode.

To be continued in Awkward Moments in Dating: The Initial Phone Call !

From → Dysfunctileaks

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