Awkward Moments in Dating: Just Friends

(image via wikimedia)

Back in 1993, I was just friends with a woman named Suzanne.  We were the same age, 28, and guys liked her a lot until they got to know her.  She could get clingy really quickly, and guys would flee.  Plus, she owned a big dog that didn’t like it when guys got amorous with Suzanne in her apartment, and that had caused some awkward moments.  Guys respect single women who own big dogs, but the big dog isn’t allowed to interfere with romantic situations.  That’s a deal breaker.

“He thinks he’s protecting me,” Suzanne said to me more than once.

“He’s going to make you single until he dies,” I warned her.  “And then you’ll be… almost 40.”

I know that in most situations a guy isn’t supposed to mention a woman’s age, but we were just friends and she needed to know that the dog could cause her some future regrets, especially if he bit a good potential husband.

The dog and I got along because I never tried anything funny with Suzanne.  She (Suzanne, not the dog) was attractive, but she wasn’t my type, and I wasn’t hers, and we both knew it.  She had seen me with Daniella, my previous girlfriend (whom I wrote about in another blog serial called The Literary Girlfriend a few years ago)  and knew what my physical type was.

Suzanne and I had met at a mutual friend’s party when I was living with Daniella and Suzanne was dating some guy I can’t remember except that he was tall with an exceptionally strong chin.  Since we had a lot of the same friends, we kept running into each other, and we’d complain to each other about our awkward dating situations.  For example, when Daniella broke up with me, Suzanne said I was better off without her.

“I never liked her,” Suzanne told me over the phone.

“Well, I liked her,” I said.  I was torn.  I felt like I had to defend my ex-girlfriend, but at the same time, I was flattered that Suzanne was trying to look out for me.

“She was mean,” Suzanne said.

“Not mean.  Vindictive,” I said.  “And she was never mean to me.”

“ She pulled a knife on you!”

“It was a bad moment.”

Anyway, Suzanne and I were going to meet up at a restaurant on a weekend evening because neither of us had anything else to do.   That’s what we did.  If we had nothing else going on, we’d hang out.  Sometimes we’d go to a movie.  Sometimes we’d go to a restaurant.  A couple times, we even spied on guys she was dating; I’d drive in my nondescript car and she’d hunch down in the passenger side when we got close to her target.  If Suzanne ever decided to write about her own awkward moments in dating, she’d be a bestselling author… or get locked up.  And I was an enabler.

That night I arrived at the restaurant a little early and saw an attractive brunette with glasses sitting in the waiting area.  Even though her skirt was kind of long, I could tell she had nice legs.  She looked me over and opened her mouth and then closed it.  I wondered if I knew her from somewhere.  Maybe she thought I looked familiar.  I think I look like a lot of people because strangers sometimes mistake me for somebody else.  Or maybe they’re trying to scam me and I’m just gullible.

After hesitating, the brunette got up and tentatively took a step toward me.

“Thomas?” she said.

“No, I’m not Thomas,” I said slowly, kind of wishing that I was Thomas.  I didn’t feel guilty about that.  Suzanne and I weren’t dating or anything.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said.”

“It’s okay.”

We sat down on different benches on opposite sides of the waiting area.  I tried really hard not to make eye contact.  The brunette was cute, and I thought Thomas was a shmuck if he didn’t show up.  Suzanne was late, but this was the 1990s, and nobody had cell phones.  If a friend was late, you waited 15 minutes or longer before you gave up.

After 15 minutes, the brunette and I glanced up at the overhead clock at the same time and made eye contact.

“Did you get stood up?” I asked.

“It looks like it,” she said.  “You too?”

“Probably not.  She always runs late.  I just got here early so that we’d average on time.”

The brunette smiled.  “It’s been 30 minutes.  I think I’ve been stood up.”

“He’s a fool,” I said, realizing that I’d meant only to think that, not say it.

The brunette got up to leave just as Suzanne strolled in.  “Sorry I’m late,” Suzanne said, and we did the quick hug.

“I’m glad your date showed up,” the brunette said as she moved past us to the door.

“My date?”  I laughed.  “We’re just friends.”

I knew immediately from Suzanne’s body language that I shouldn’t have said that.  I’d just taken a normal, friendly situation and suddenly made it awkward.  Of course, things were going to get worse… or at least more awkward,  And I’ll get to that soon.

To be continued in…  Awkward Moments in Dating: Getting Stood Up vs. Getting Ditched!