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This might be… The Best Writing Quiz Ever!!!

January 2, 2023
Don’t interrupt him while he’s taking the writing quiz!

This might actually be THE BEST WRITING QUIZ, but I’m not 100% sure. After all, I haven’t taken every single writing quiz ever made. Even if this isn’t quite quite THE BEST WRITING QUIZ EVER!!!, it’s still pretty good, and I know people won’t take a quiz if it’s titled Writing Quiz That I Wrote One Afternoon When I Was Bored.

*****

Writing habits can explain a lot about your personality.  Take the quiz below, keep track of the points as you go, and see what kind of writer (and human being) you really are!

A. When a commenter on your blog tells you that you suck, what do you do?

  1. Feel bad that the commenter didn’t like your writing.
  2. Feel proud that somebody cared enough to tell you that you sucked.
  3. You enjoy comments, but they don’t have any effect on you.
  4. Get mad and leave a “You suck, and so does your mom!” comment on the commenter’s blog.

*****

B. When you get writer’s block, what do you do?

  1. Stare at the screen until you fall asleep.
  2. Write “I don’t know what to write” until you think of what to write
  3. Shrug your shoulders and go do something unrelated to writing.
  4. Throw a loud, profane fit.

*****

C. When your spouse/significant other tells you that you spend too much writing, what do you do?

  1. Pretend you don’t hear what your spouse/significant other is saying.
  2. Say in a soothing voice, “You’re more important to me than my writing, but let’s discuss this when I’m done.”
  3. Immediately quit writing and spend time with your family.
  4. Push your spouse/significant other out of the den and soundproof the room the next day.

*****

D. During revisions, you notice a lazy metaphor in your writing.  You-

  1. Add a couple words to the metaphor so that it’s not so lazy.
  2. Stress yourself out trying to think of a completely new and different metaphor.
  3. Keep the metaphor as it is and hope nobody notices.
  4. Drop the metaphor and go completely literal.

*****

E. A friend asks you about your latest writing project.  You-

  1. Tell your friend that you never discuss your projects until the projects are finished.
  2. Tell your friend just a little bit about your project to be polite.
  3. Change the subject.
  4. Tell your friend everything about your writing project until your friend’s eyes glaze over.

*****

F.  What kind of book do you think damages the publishing industry the most?

  1. Any book written by a “celebrity.”
  2. Any book series written by a new author who hasn’t proven he/she can sustain a book series.
  3. Any book written by James Patterson.
  4. Any book not written by you.

*****

G. While reading bestselling novels, what typically goes through your head?

  1. You nitpick over every plot hole and every poorly-written sentence.
  2. You look for ideas and writing techniques that you can use in your own writing.
  3. You’re just reading a bestseller for fun; it has nothing to do with your own writing.
  4. You wonder how that piece of junk ever became a bestseller.

*****

H.  A friend of yours reads your novel and gives honest criticisms.  What is your reaction?

  1. You appreciate the feedback, but you argue about the criticisms you disagree with.
  2. You listen intently to the criticism, and actually make a few changes because of it.
  3. You’re stunned that somebody actually finished your novel.
  4. You’re offended that your friend didn’t think your novel was perfect, and you end the friendship.

*****

I. What do you think about Ernest Hemingway’s famous quote?- “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit at a typewriter and bleed.”

  1. It perfectly explains what you go through during the writing process.
  2. Hemingway exaggerates a little bit, but you understand what he means.
  3. You’re a little baffled by the quote because you actually enjoy writing.
  4. Hemingway, Shmemingway, that lush doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

*****

J.  A friend gives you a copy of On Writing by Stephen King.  What is your first thought?

  1. You’re grateful, but you already have five copies.
  2. You’re excited because you’ve always wanted to read this.
  3. You wonder why your friend thinks you need advice with your writing.
  4. You think Stephen King is a hack who doesn’t even follow his own advice anymore.

*****

SCORE

10-19 Points- You should be a writer because you’re insightful and the world needs to read your observations.

20-29 Points- You should be a writer because you care about the art and everything you write will be well-crafted.

29-35 Points- You should be a writer because you’re creative and can make up your own rules while still making sense.

36-40 Points- You should be a writer because you’re too curmudgeonly to do anything that requires interactions with real people.

*****

How did you do?  What did the quiz tell you about your writing habits?  Do you normally take quizzes when there is no real grade involved?

4 Comments
  1. Mr. Michael F.S.W. Morrison permalink

    How can I send you a message not necessarily for anyone else to see? Thank you.

  2. I got a zero because I am always at “none of the above”. For example
    A: “oh, finally, someone who’s honest”
    C: Act surprised that my wife actually saw me writing anything, because that would be just as likely as my wife seeing me get struck by lightning.
    D: what’s a lazy metaphor? Nevermind, even if I knew, I’d be too lazy to notice it.

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