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I Just Walked Into Another Crazy Situation!

December 22, 2022
I was minding my own business, I promise!

As I walking to my car in a grocery store parking garage, I noticed a couple employees doing something kind of crazy in a small pickup. The vehicle itself was parked in probably the most well-lit spot in the garage. There was so much lighting that I could see exactly what was going on with a male and a female inside the pickup.

Some people don’t mind getting caught, but I could tell from the female’s facial expression that I was not the intended audience. In fact, she looked kind of pissed off that I saw her. I don’t know why she had the audacity to be pissed off; I didn’t even look that long. It was her fault anyway. If you’re in a well-lit location and you do something crazy, it’s your own fault if you get spotted.

I promise, I didn’t want to see what I saw. She wasn’t even that… aw, you know what I mean.

My philosophy has been that if you’re going to do something crazy in your car, do it in a really dark place. I understand that work can be stressful or boring or unpleasant, but there are still better times and places to do the crazy stuff.

This isn’t the first time that I’ve walked into a weird situation. A couple decades ago, I was returning a video to Blockbuster. When I turned the corner of the building, I stood face-to-face with two guys, one guy holding a knife, another guy holding his side bleeding. All three of us froze and made eye contact. For some stupid reason, I said, “Hey!”

To my surprise, both guys fled the scene. The guy with the knife could have stabbed me. Even the guy getting stabbed could have killed me (pure speculation on my part). I feel bad for the stabbed guy. Running from me probably cost him a lot of necessary blood. I hope he didn’t bleed out from hightailing the scene. I have to admit, I was impressed with his speed. He ran faster than the guy with knife; I’m just not sure how far he got; I would have checked, but I had a movie to return. Back then, late fees were a big deal.

This happened before cell phones were a thing, so I couldn’t call the cops right away. When I entered the Blockbuster, I almost asked to use the phone, but I wasn’t sure how I’d report this to the police. The two guys had both run off. I’m sure a detective could have followed the trail of blood, but by the time he got to the end of the trail, the situation would have already taken care of itself. Our police, as much as I respect what they do, didn’t have a great response time.

So instead of notifying the proper authorities, I returned my video and rented a new one. It wasn’t my fault that Blockbuster went bankrupt.

I’m not sure when to intervene and when to back off. There was the time when I turned the corner into the freezer aisle of a grocery store to see a guy knock down his girlfriend. We made eye contact, and I pointed out an imaginary slick spot on the floor and the guy helped her up. Or when I walked into a fast food place just in time to see an old lady about to hit her grandchild(?) with a belt. I intervened in that case too, but sometimes you have to pretend stuff isn’t happening.

Old lady with a belt?

She’s just an old lady. Intervene.

Guy knocking his girlfriend down?

She probably said something to… I mean… a man who hits his girlfriend probably won’t tangle with a guy who can fight back, but proceed with caution.

Guy stabbing another guy?

Whatever you do, don’t yell “Hey!”

Weird stuff in a car in a grocery store parking garage?

Leave them alone; they probably have to get back to work in a few minutes anyway.

*****

But enough about me! What crazy situations have you walked into? When do you respond, and when do you pretend that nothing happened?

From → Dysfunctileaks

7 Comments
  1. All the best to you! 🙏🏻😅🙏🏻

  2. ‘Way back, maybe even before Blockbuster was born, I had a Renault. (In those days and where I was, pronounced “Ree-nowlt.”) It had reclining seats and they could be surprisingly comfortable beds.
    Because of that, some people did a lot of sleeping in their cars. And because of that, there were folks who offered various kinds of advice.
    Including the one who told how to make curtains — using suction cups, if I recall correctly — to put curtains on all the windows so the sleeper(s) could have a semblance of privacy and maybe even keep out the sunlight.
    Too bad you couldn’t have told that too-public couple about those curtains.
    P.S. I wish you happy holidays and the very best success with your book.

  3. Wow. I have never walked into a situation as crazy as a Stabber and a Stabbee…and then had the audacity to IGNORE it and carry on with my life (renting a video after such a shocking and harrowing experience) LOL. It’s hilarious to me that the stabbed man ran away. If I were a stabbed man I would point fingers at my stabber and ask you for help. They both must have been guilty of something. That would be a really interesting story in my opinion 😀 The guy whacking his girlfriend…. yeeesh. I dunno about that one. You must live in a place with a lot of people. And good luck with your book!

    • You’re probably right that there must have been an interesting story about the stabbing. Most stabbings probably have an interesting story (if the participants live to talk about it). You’re also right that I live in a place with a lot of people. It adds an unpredictable element to my somewhat predictable life.

  4. One Christmas Eve I was looking to meet up with some friends at a bar, only I wasn’t sure which bar. This too was before cell phones, so I was popping in to our usual haunts, looking for them. One bar I went in was completely empty (it was Christmas Eve after all) except for two people. The woman was sitting on the bar with her skirt hiked up. The man was on his knees with his face in her skirt. I turned and left as soon as I saw them, but the door slammed behind me. I was in my car backing out when the dude came outside, coming after me. I felt bad at the time, like I’d done someting worng, but looking back, I’m thinking I did nothing wrong, while he made several mistakes.

    • If he followed you outside, the woman must not have been all that… ugh… never mind.

      The bar owner should get that door fixed so that it doesn’t slam.

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