The Truth about the White Van!
You can’t see inside, but I bet there’s nothing bad in there. (image via wikimedia)
Despite being a quiet person, I’m kind of a contrarian. I like to defend things that are unpopular. A few weeks ago I defended grammar Nazis , and most people understood my reasoning. A few months ago, I defended President Trump’s reading list , and I avoided the outrage mobs. Even though I’m a contrarian, I really don’t like dealing with outrage mobs because mobs don’t listen to quiet people.
Now I’m defending white vans. I know a lot of people think white vans are creepy, but I think white vans have an unfairly bad reputation.
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Alright, enough about me! What do you think? Is there any vehicle creepier than a white van? If you had a white van, what would you keep inside?
Dysfunctional Literacy 
Ah, so that’s what you look like! And I know that your voice isn’t really monotone. A kind of a monotone, but not really.
As for the letting the police search your van, considering the third possibility – they search it and find a joint forgotten by someone you helped move, or something else that they think is a problem. And you cam discard the possibility of a criminal getting away – if the police were already chasing a criminal, they wouldn’t be stopping random cars and waste everyone’s time. No, the reason they stop you is because they think you might be the criminal – after all, you’re a middle-aged white guy driving a white van, which is the most suspicious vehicle for a middle-aged white guy.
“…they search it and find a joint forgotten by someone you helped move…”-
I know! Whatever crazy stuff is in the back (except my books), it’s always their fault.