Is There Really Anything Wrong with Millennials?

If he’d been a Millennial, he could have googled the answer by now. (image via wikimedia)

Millennials have a bad reputation among older people like me.  According to popular opinion (maybe not so popular with Millennials), they get their feelings hurt easily and have to be coddled. Millennials live with their parents (usually in the basement). Millennials are addicted to technology.  Some people my age think these are bad qualities, but I’m not so sure.

I like Millennials.  In fact, I have nothing against any generation, whether it’s Baby Boomers or Gen Xers.  I think the Greatest Generation might be a little overrated.  If they’d been so great, they might have prevented the Great Depression or World War II instead of having to overcome them.  I know it’s not their fault somebody else gave them the nickname “Greatest,” but it doesn’t make them look good that they accepted it.  I’d expect more humility from the Greatest Generation.  Then again, maybe I’m quibbling.

Millennials are looked down upon because they’re always looking down at their phones.  The complaint about them is that they are addicted to technology.  Of course, they are.  How could they not be?  They were raised with computers and the internet, so that’s what they’re addicted to.  My generation was addicted to television because that was what we were raised on.  We actually set our schedules around shows like The Brady Bunch and Welcome Back, Kotter.  We have no room to malign other generations.  If I had a choice between being addicted to technology or my TV, I’d choose technology.  We shouldn’t feel pity or contempt for Millennials because of their technology addictions.  Instead, they should mock us for liking shows such as The Brady Bunch.

Supposedly, Millennials have less sex than previous generations.  I’m not sure any accurate survey has ever been done about sex, especially if the data is based on self-reporting.  Maybe Millennials have less sex because certain kinds of images and videos are more accessible than in the past, and that leads to more self-gratifying behavior.  Self-gratifying behavior existed well before the internet, but the videos were more difficult to obtain decades ago.

But I’m still not convinced that Millennials are having less sex than any previous generations.  I know my generation (especially men) lied about how much sex we were having.  If my generation lied about it, then I’m sure other generations did too.  Men usually multiply their sexual experiences by three.  We want to multiply it by ten, but most of us try to keep things believable.

I think Millennials who were surveyed are more honest about the lack of sex in their lives than previous generations.  Maybe it’s because they’re used to sharing everything on their phones now that they don’t care if everybody knows they’re sexual losers.  I don’t mean to sound insulting.  I was a sexual loser too, and I couldn’t even blame it on technology addiction.  Instead, I lied about my sexual exploits.  That made me a loser and a liar, so I was worse than a typical Millennial who doesn’t have sex.

Millennials supposedly live with their parents in the basement.  I have no idea if this is true or not.  When I was a kid, very few adults lived with their parents because everybody got kicked out of the house the day after their 18^th birthday. If you were 18 but still in high school, maybe you were allowed to graduate before you got kicked out, but that was the most extra time you’d get.  If you went to college, you might be allowed to live at home during the summer.  Otherwise, you were on your own.  Anything less made you a slacker.

But the job market has changed since then.  I’d say it’s getting worse, but then I’d be accused of being judgmental, and a political fight would start, so I’ll just say the job market has changed.  Millennials didn’t grow up in a time where most teenagers worked part-time jobs after school.  Working after school sucked, but it taught us to be disciplined with our time.  But the job market has changed, and it’s been more difficult for a young person to find a good job since then.

On the other hand, Millennials have more opportunities to start their own businesses.  Crowdfunding is a great way to get your idea going without having to go through the old channels that took too long and probably screwed you over even if an investor liked your idea.  Authors can self-publish without having to go through agents and book publishers who would also rip you off.  Being successful in these new unconventional ways is still a long shot, but a long shot is better than impossible.

Some people think Millennials need to be coddled, but the only group of young coworkers I have an issue with is Ivy Leaguers.  They tend to listen only to other Ivy Leaguers and take any non-Ivy League criticism as an insult.  They also think that creating a new acronym for an old idea will make the old idea work better.  This might be my own biases kicking in.  I’ve never trusted the Ivy League.  Most of our prominent politicians, including several recent U.S. presidents, have been Ivy Leaguers, so you can criticize the Ivy League without getting into the usual partisan insult contest.  Ivy League incompetence transcends partisan politics and generations.

Most importantly, I really like Millennials because they don’t talk to me unless it’s something important.  They’re usually too absorbed in their technology to notice that I’m even there.  For decades, I’ve tried to avoid meaningless conversations, and I’ve finally found a group who will ignore me.  It almost makes me wish I’d been born a Millennial, but I’m glad I wasn’t.  I like yelling at kids to get off my lawn.  I’d never give that up.

*****

Readers of all generations love my ebook.  Even Ivy Leaguers think it’s okay.