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My Daughters Want To Go To A YouTuber Book Signing

June 7, 2016
If I say no, she'll badger me until she gets her phone taken away from her. (image via wikimedia)

If I say no, she’ll badger me until I take her phone away from her. (image via wikimedia)

A YouTube star is coming to a local book store for a signing, and my daughters want to go.  I have a tough time calling a YouTuber a star, but this guy has millions of subscribers, and his first book was a best seller, so I guess not calling him a star would be quibbling.

I’m not looking forward to the book signing.  We’ll probably have to get to the book store early and stand in line just to get our slip with the number that tells us where to stand in the real line.  Those lines will be filled with a bunch of people whom I don’t want to be around.  I don’t even like standing in book-signing lines when I’m surrounded by fellow book readers.  There’s no way I can handle a line filled with teenage YouTube fans.

I’m going to be a bad parent that day.  My plan is to drop my kids off in the line and go far away.  Thankfully, the line will be in a book store, so I won’t go too far.  I’m not driving away and going home for a few hours.  I’m not that kind of a bad parent.

The YouTuber is in his late 20’s and is obnoxious (by my standards).  He eats food and makes stage faces.  He does DIY videos and also conducts an occasional interview with other obnoxious people.  He curses way too much.

The first time I watched one of this YouTuber’s videos, he used the word “f#cking” twice as an adjective in his first two sentences.   I would have felt better if he had used the term “f#cking” only once in his first two sentences.  I’m not sure what the “f#cking”-per-sentence ratio should be, but it shouldn’t be once-per-sentence.  That’s just lazy.  Maybe once every two sentences is approaching respectability, but I expect higher standards for somebody with millions of subscribers.

Then again, I’m not the YouTuber’s target audience.  I’m probably not any YouTuber’s target audience.  I’m the guy who pays for the YouTuber’s target audience.  That should mean that the YouTuber needs my approval, but things don’t work like that anymore (if they ever did).

When I was kid, if I had talked the way this YouTuber talks in his video, I would have gotten my mouth washed out with soap or have gotten the belt.  I’d kind of like to see a video of this guy getting his mouth washed out with soap.  That would make a great YouTube video.  Even though I’m not in his target audience, I’d watch that.  And I’d pay to see it.

This YouTuber churns out a new video almost every day, and within hours has hundreds of thousands of hits.  It’s a little deflating to me.  I write one blog post a week, and a few people read it.  Maybe I’ll get a few comments but nothing like this guy gets.  Most of his commenters don’t seem to write very well, though.  At least, if they do know how to write, they don’t show it.  On the other hand, people who comment on my blog write very well and are probably smarter than me because half the time they’re correcting my own errors.

In case you can’t tell, I really don’t want to spend money on this YouTuber’s book.  I feel like I’m just rewarding his bad behavior.  Even worse, I’ll probably have to buy two copies, one for each daughter, so both of them can take individual pictures with him.  This means I’ll be rewarding his bad behavior twice.  I don’t even know if this new book is any good or not because it won’t come out until a couple days before the signing!

Despite my better judgement, I’m probably going to let my daughters go to the book signing.  But they’re going to do a bunch of my own chores around the house to get there.  And they’re going to have to wait until I get home from work to do these chores.  And while they do my usual chores, I’m going to get extra time for reading and writing, and they’re going to leave me alone while they do my chores.

I’m going to get so much reading and writing done while they’re doing chores that I’ll get bored of reading and writing.  Maybe, just maybe, my daughters will do so many chores that they will start to despise this YouTuber.  And if they do enough chores, I might even start to like him.

*****

I think YouTube is great.  I watch YouTube, but my viewing habits are different from my daughters’.  They watch new content (which I don’t find appealing), and I watch old content, such as old comedy routines, scenes from old movies, football games from years ago, and the occasional Game of Thrones commentary.  Most of the YouTube stars I’d want to meet are dead already.

*****

What do you think?  Would you allow your kids to go to a YouTuber book signing?  Would you even want to read a book written by a YouTuber?  What is respectable “f#cking”-per-sentence ratio for a performer?

*****

When I was a kid, I got my mouth washed out with soap for saying the word “crap.” Looking back, that ticks me off because now I know that…

Now available on the Amazon Kindle!

Now available on Amazon!

From → Pop culture

23 Comments
  1. My kid is seven. He gets to go to the bathroom alone. Lol.

  2. I agree with you 100% on this YouTuber person, but you are much more agreeable about the whole thing than I would be. I mean, it’s clear you don’t like it, but at least you can see perspectives other than your own, which is good, and which I can’t, or am not very willing to do, anyway. If I were you, I would want to tell my kids tough s&%t, you’re not going, then go by myself and kick the punk-a$$ YouTuber in the crotch.

    • Well, with the job I have, it’s very important that I stay off of YouTube.

      If I kick a YouTuber in the crotch, then I’ll probably end up on YouTube.

      Even if I didn’t mind being on YouTube, I have to really despise somebody to consider kicking him in the crotch, and I don’t think this YouTuber has hit that threshold.

  3. My boyfriend’s daughters eat/live/breathe YouTube. Their Bible is whoever is trending. It’s annoying, but you’re right: I’m jealous they can garner thousands of hits by just hitting “Upload.” I have to jump through the three-ring circus of social media to even get 50 views.

  4. The rate of F-words to overall speech is inversely correlated with the quality of the substance of the speech. This is also true of alt/pop performers. Believe me, I know. And the fact that the performer can see that there are 14 year olds in the audience has no effect upon the performer’s willingness to pepper his speech with F-words.

  5. That’s true! The written word is losing its appeal. And the video content seems to garner more and more views, poor quality or expletives notwithstanding.

    I just hope that your daughters have a good time, and are not quite influenced by this YouTuber.

  6. Every single one of those youtubers with enough subscribers has published a book during the past year or so. Therefore, I really doubt that the youtuber wrote it himself. I’m not sure you can even call it literature.

  7. Ugh, don’t get me started. They are making money off the backs of poor parents whose kids are sucked into their ‘allure’. You tubers these days, with their ‘I love you guys’ and their pandering to their fans in a despicably childish way despite being well into adulthood because they know they will only ever be relevant to hormone crazed adolescents; and when these kids grow up they will wither away into stagnancy, so they really have to rake it all in now. They aren’t stars at all. Youtube is a way for youngsters with nothing to offer the world to get famous. Sure there are those that use their ‘fame’ for good, which is a great thing, but I guess the point is that they are all now churning out books written by other people with the Youtube name slapped on the cover that become best sellers not for talent, but for fame. I guess writing is not as appealing to this generation as it was to those prior; visual means have taken a massive leap thanks to technology.

    • My daughters still read and write for fun (maybe not as I did when I was their age), but I think YouTube has just replaced television in a lot of ways.

      They don’t watch the teen-oriented shows on TV much anymore, but I’m not sure which is higher quality, YouTube or teen-oriented television. I guess my daughters think YouTube has higher quality programming now.

  8. Also I found your bit about the chores hilarious! Always chores 😉

  9. Tough call:) Vaya Con Dios amigo:)

  10. srithabandla permalink

    I would have gone to the book signing! I do not know but I would go to any celebrity’s book signing !!
    🙂

  11. srithabandla permalink

    May be because all the teenagers are like that ! 🙂

  12. Would you go to a Youtubers book signing if it were someone like John Green? Or someone else who is mainly an author and less of a Youtuber?

  13. emsr2003 permalink

    Hey I just wrote my first blog! Could you check it out?? Thanks

  14. Sarah Mitchell permalink

    Well it depends whether he was actively pointing the “f#ckings” at a specific person or people. If he was calling other people those things I don’t think I would even be watching him, but if he was just ranting and was really angry about what he was talking about I would let it slide. It also depends on whether he was trying to be funny, and the unnecessary amount of f#ckings was a sort of unspoken joke that generates a chuckle from his audience. If your daughters really love him I would let them go, just so they get the satisfaction of meeting one of their favorite YouTubers.

  15. Sarah Mitchell permalink

    And man oh man I am so late on that response

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