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Why Pole Dancing Nun Strippers Are a Bad Idea

April 18, 2012
Striptease dancer shortly before the end of he...

No, she's not wearing a nun outfit, and no, she's probably not in Italy, and I'm guessing she's not performing for a former world leader, but as long as she's pole dancing, a lot of guys simply won't care about the minor details (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s easy to make jokes about former Italian premier Silvio Berlusconi.  First he was accused of having an adult encounter with an underage female dancer.  Now some ladies involved with the former premier are claiming that the premier was once entertained by some pole dancing nun strippers at a party with some weird name to it. 

People have fetishes and weird fantasies.  That’s understandable.  But pole dancing stripper nuns are a really bad idea, even for a former world leader who under normal circumstances could maybe have gotten away with such foolishness. 

At first, a lecherous old guy might think that a pole dancing stripper nun is a novel concept, but once some thought is put into it (yeah, yeah, yeah, I know!),  it’s obvious what a disaster pole dancing nun strippers could be.  I’m not even talking about the offensive nature of it.  Face it, once a lecherous old guy has an adult encounter with an underage exotic dancer, he’s probably not worried about offending anybody anymore. 

The logistics of the whole pole dancing nun stripper just don’t work. 

First of all, in order for the whole pole dancing nun stripper thing to work, you have to make sure that you’re dealing with strippers pretending to be nuns because if it’s the other way around, even a horny former Italian premier isn’t going for it. 

Once you know for sure that these are indeed strippers pretending to be nuns, several other things could still go horribly wrong. 

The heavy black nun shoes could fly off while the stripper nun is performing her swinging kicks off the pole and cause massive head injury to the lecherous old guy in the audience. 

The pole dancing stripper nuns might rap the lecherous old guy’s wrists with a meter stick every time he breaks the two-foot (meter) rule.  

The church organ music (organ..haha!) has no beat for the pole dancer stripper nuns to grind to. 

The strong aroma of mothball clinging to the stripper nun outfits can overwhelm the lecherous old guy. 

The chanting Chip-Monk male strippers who follow the pole dancing nuns’ performance can be a turn off to the lecherous old guy afterward. 


One of the keys to success in life is recognizing bad ideas and staying away from them.  That’s why we normal people get so disappointed with our leadership.  World leaders make the laws we are supposed to live by, and then these people who make our laws do things that we normal people know are incredibly stupid.  Hanging out with strippers?  If you’re a world leader, that can be pretty stupid, but there’s a slight chance that nobody will ever find out about it, and maybe we’ll forget anyway. 

But if you hang out with pole dancing nun strippers, people will definitely find out, and they will definitely remember.  Just because of that, if you’re a public figure, hanging out with pole dancing nun strippers is a very bad idea.

From → Dysfunctileaks

One Comment
  1. Maybe the lecherous old guy thought that a stripper nun could take his confessions while he is sinning…

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