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Three Times in One Year?- A Friday the 13th Joke

January 17, 2012
Deutsch: Kalenderblatt mit Freitag, dem 13.

Leave it to the Germans to make a simple date on a calendar look ominous. Image via Wikipedia

Two guys were traveling on a dark, desolate road late one night on a Friday the 13th.  The driver was a superstitious, pessimistic soul, but the passenger was an optimist who didn’t believe in such “self-fulfilling nonsense.”

“2012 sucks,” the superstitious guy said.  “There are three Friday the 13ths this year, and they’re 13 weeks apart!” 

“Friday the 13th is just another day,” the optimist replied.  “Bad things can happen on any day, and bad things are just opportunities for us to overcome obstacles.” 

“Shut up,” the superstitious guy said (”Shut up!” is a reflexive response many normal people have to optimists). 

Of course, the optimist wouldn’t shut up, and the two kept on arguing. 

“13 is an unlucky number,” the superstitious guy maintained.  “There were 13 people with Jesus during his Last Supper.” 

“Jesus died so that God would forgive us of our sins,” the optimist countered. 

“Tupac Shakur died on a Friday the 13th.” 

“Tupac’s not dead.  He’s hanging out with Elvis and Jim Morrison in Africa.” 

Suddenly, the front tire blew out, and the car swerved onto the shoulder.  The superstitious guy eased the car to a stop and cursed. 

“See?”  he said, quaking.  “We’re stranded on an isolated highway late at night.” 

“At least we didn’t wreck,” the optimist said.  “And we have a spare tire in the trunk.” 

“I don’t know how to put on a spare.” 

“There are two of us.  We can figure it out.” 

“It’s going to be impossible to figure this out in the dark without any street lights.” 

“At least there won’t be any speeding cars to sideswipe us while we’re replacing the tire.” 

They argued for a few minutes while dragging out the spare, the jack, and the lug nuts.  Both of them sighed as they began determining the function of each item. 

All of a sudden, a growling man lunged at them from out of the darkness.  The psycho was huge, and scarred, with only one eye (the other was a hollow socket with hair growing out), and a hook for a right hand. 

The two guys screamed and ran for their lives down the highway.  The psycho chased them and seemed to be catching up.  The psycho raised his hook for his first slash when a truck came out of nowhere and flattened him.  The truck continued careening down the dark highway, leaving a two dimensional bloody corpse on the pavement and a hook clanking down the road. 

“This only could have happened on a Friday the 13th!!” the superstitious guy proclaimed, still in a panic.  “Our car blows out, we’re stranded, and then this freak attacks us!  How unlucky can we be?” 

The optimist stared at the flattened psycho and said, “At least we’re luckier than him.”

From → Jokes/Generic

  1. Are there really three this year? One down, two to go!

  2. That’s what my sources of superstition have told me (though they could be wrong, and I didn’t even look at my calendar to verify it because I don’t like research).

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