Pepper Spraying Shopper Gets Caught! A Black Friday Joke

The ultimate competitive shopper nudged her way close to the front of the line at Wal-Mart before the sales started on Black Friday.  After she entered the store, she dropped a pile of marbles on the floor, causing a bunch of bargain hunters behind her to fall down.  When she got to the electronics section, she peppered sprayed the area, causing everybody else to gag, sneeze, and gasp for breath.  The competitive shopper loaded up her cart with computers, video game consoles, and flat screen TVs, all on special sale.  When she got to the check out line, she tazed everybody in front of her so that she could get out quickly and make the next sale at another store.  To her credit, she didn’t shoplift. 

A few days later the ultimate competitive shopper got caught, but she was ready.  She lawyered up, got her charges reduced, and she didn’t seem very nervous at sentencing.  When the judge gave her the option of 1000 hours of community service instead of serving jail time, she shrugged.  When the judge got ready to announce the fine, that’s when the competitive shopper held her breath. 

“$5,000 fine!” the judge ordered. 

“Yes!” the competitive shopper cheered, jumping up and down.  She even tried to high five her lawyer, who was actually appalled by her response. 

“How can you celebrate at a time like this?” the lawyer asked. 

“Because even after the fine and the lawyer fees,” the competitive shopper answered, “I still saved $100.”