How Can You Beat Writer’s Block? A Writing Joke

An overworked author was having writer’s block at the worst possible time.  A deadline was approaching from his freelance job, he was working on his 100 blog posts in 100 days challenge, and he was writing a 50,000 word novel in a month all at the same time.  The writer stared at his laptop screen, but he just couldn’t start writing. 

Frustrated, the writer stood up and kicked his desk.  Unfortunately, he wasn’t wearing shoes, and he jammed his big toe. 

“Aaaaarrrrgh!” the writer screamed, hopping on his good foot from his den to the kitchen to get an ice pack.  He accidentally tripped over his dog, lost his balance, and stumbled against the stove, flipping over a pot of boiling water that scorched his arm. 

“Aiyeeeee!” the writer screamed, writhing in agony.  His entire arm seared with pain, so he rushed to his car to drive himself to an emergency room.  As he put the car into reverse, he saw smoke and flames from his kitchen.  He had left the stove on, and somehow the kitchen had caught on fire. 

“Nooooooo!” the writer screamed, leaping from his car, diving back into his house,  holding his breath through the suffocating smoke, grabbing a fire extinguisher, and putting out the fire.  As he almost breathed a sigh of relief (he couldn’t really breathe because of the smoke), he heard a loud crash.  He had forgotten to set the emergency brake, and his car had rolled off the driveway and smashed into an old tree that hadn’t been removed yet from his lawn. 

“AAAaaaaahhhhhh!” the writer screamed as he fled from his house just as the dying tree fell onto his home and crushed the roof.  The fire had weakened the home’s structure, and entire house collapsed under the weight of the fallen tree. 

The writer and his wife (who had been outside in the yard the whole time because she couldn’t stand to be around him when he was writing) stared at the rubble of what had been their home. 

“At least now you have something to write about,” the wife said. 

“I would,” the writer replied, exasperated.  “But my laptop’s still in the house.”