Best Clean Jokes Ever!

Maybe these jokes aren't as clean as "Why was 6 afraid of 7?" but they're still pretty clean. Image via Wikipedia

In this era of raunchy humor and cheap low brow laughs, a clean joke is hard to tell.  Nowadays, it’s difficult to find hilarity in something that’s not an adult situation or a loud, messy body function.  Clean jokes usually aren’t edgy.  Clean jokes usually aren’t hip.  Yet a BEST CLEAN JOKE EVER is relevant and deals with issues everybody can relate to without being polarizing.  A BEST CLEAN JOKE EVER can still bring a nod of approval, and if you’re really lucky, an unexpected laugh.  The following anecdotes might not be the funniest clean jokes ever, but they are some of the BEST CLEAN JOKES EVER! 

COP BUSTS TEXTING DRIVER 

Several states had made text messaging while driving a crime, so a police officer who needed to meet his quota sat in his squad car on a busy street watching for violators.  He noticed an SUV speeding with a bunch of screaming teenagers jumping up and down without seat belts on in the back seat while the driver was texting with one hand on the steering wheel. 

After he had pulled her over, the police officer said, “Ma’am, you were speeding.  You have several kids in the back jumping and screaming without seat belts on.  Why in the world were you texting at a time like this?” 

“They couldn’t hear me yelling at them,” the driver said, exasperated. “So I was texting them to sit down and shut up.” 

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AN  iPHONE JOKE

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TEACHER GIVES STUDENTS ANSWERS ON STANDARDIZED TEST 

It was standardized test time, and a public school teacher who was about to retire was administering the examination to her homeroom.  The kids had just begun, and the teacher was emphasizing a couple very important points. 

“Remember, I cannot help you with any answers,” she said.  “I can only help you with the directions.”  As she said this, she pointed to answer A on question #3 to several students. 

“Remember to make your pencil marks dark and neat,” she continued, pointing to answer D on question #6 on several students’ answer sheets. 

A test monitor peeking in from the hallway saw the retiring teacher and hurried into the classroom. 

“Don’t help the students,” the monitor whispered.  “With President Obama changing the No Child Left Behind law, we don’t have to cheat anymore to keep our jobs.” 

“Help the students?” the retiring teacher said in a low voice.  “These little monsters have given me so much grief this year, I’m giving them the wrong answers.”