Two Innocent Guys – A Death Penalty Joke

Two innocent guys in prison sat next to each other in the waiting room of the warden’s office.  One was an innocent guy serving a life sentence, and the other innocent guy was on death row.  Meeting a death row inmate was a rare opportunity for the lifer, so the lifer struck up a conversation. 

“I wish I was on death row,” the innocent lifer said. “You’ve got high profile lawyers trying to exonerate you.  People stand outside the prison grounds praying for you.  Books are written about you.  Songs are sung about you.  Celebrities want to meet you.  Women want to sleep with you.  Foundations are named after you. You even get cool glasses to make you look like a normal person to the public.” 

“What?” the innocent death row inmate replied, getting fidgety. 

“Nobody cares about me,” the innocent lifer continued.  “I’m going to waste away in prison for 50 or 60 years until I die, and no famous lawyers are going to look into my case.  Nobody’s making a movie about me.  No women want to sleep with me, except that guy who wears a wig a few cells from me.” 

“How can you make jokes about this?” the death row inmate asked.  His face turned red, his forehead beaded with sweat, and his voice almost cracked as he spoke. “If the Supreme Court doesn’t hear my case, I’m going to be executed in a few days, and I’ll be killed for a crime I didn’t commit.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” the lifer said, suddenly feeling a bit awkward.  “I didn’t realize you were really innocent.”