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Anthony Weiner, Bill Clinton, and Brett Favre Compare Packages

June 2, 2011

Former President Bill Clinton, Congressman Anthony Weiner, and former Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre were standing in line at the post office.  As they started talking, Bill Clinton and Brett Favre began bragging about their packages.  Bill Clinton bragged about how he used to get his Secret Service agents to bring in young women to see his package.  Brett Favre bragged that he emailed pictures of his package to female reporters.  Bill Clinton bragged that his package had a distinguishing characteristic.  Brett Favre bragged that his package was the most famous package in the NFL.  Anthony Weiner kept quiet, but his package was wrapped in underwear, and he claimed it wasn’t really his.

When it was time for Clinton to mail his package, he gave it the postal worker and told her to keep the change.  The postal worker handled the package delicately, caressed it, weighed it gently, and tenderly placed it above all the other packages waiting to be shipped.  Bill Clinton stood with a satisfied smile.

When it was time for Weiner to mail his package, he defiantly handed the underwear-bound package to the postal worker, again announced it wasn’t really his package, and he let the postal worker keep the change.  The postal worker handled Weiner’s package respectfully in public, but once it was placed in the back, over 45,000 postal workers got to look at it, and most agreed that it was probably Weiner’s package.  Anthony Weiner quickly left the post office, leaving Bill Clinton with Brett Favre.

When it was time for Brett Favre to mail his package, he gave it to the postal worker and thoughtlessly accepted the change.  The postal worker gripped Brett Favre’s package, smashed it on the ground, stomped on it, beat it with a hammer until it was ground completely into the floor.  Brett watched, a tight grimace of pain etched into his mouth as his package was obliterated.

“What was that all about?” Brett asked in shock, barely able to breathe.

“Even Anthony Weiner knows,” Bill Clinton said.  “When you have a delicate package, you better take care of the tip.”


Aaarrgh! I know this is a lame blog post.  As tempting as it is to delete it (and it’s tempting), I’m leaving it up to show my development as a blogger/writer.  Keep in mind that some of the people mentioned were public figure in 2011, and there was some crazy stuff going on with them.  Back then I saw this blog as practice because I knew nobody was reading it and I could experiment a little.  Now I can see that some experiments go horribly wrong.

From → Jokes/Generic

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