Ann Coulter’s Demonic vs. Snookie’s Novel

By saying “Ann Coulter’s Demonic,” we mean Ann Coulter’s new book called Demonic, not that Ann Coulter is demonic. Some critics might claim that Ann Coulter is demonic, but that’s not what our title means.

It happens every couple of years.  Ann Coulter writes a new book, annoys a bunch of people while promoting it, and her critics pan her book without reading it.  Coulter will say some mean things about liberals, and then liberals will say even worse things about her and unintentionally prove her point.  She’s been accused of plagiarizing (Who would she plagiarize from?  Nobody else writes like her.), and critics have tried to shove pies into her face.  As soon as her new book comes out, a bunch of anti-fans will leave one-star reviews of her book without having read it.

To us at Dysfunctional Literacy, it seems pretty simple.  If you’re a conservative, you’ll probably like Ann Coulter’s book.  If you’re a liberal, you’ll probably hate it.  If you’re a moderate, you’re probably more interested in Snookie’s book.

Snookie wrote a book?

THE BENEFITS OF SNOOKIE

The problem with Snookie’s novel (which shall go unnamed here) is that it was supposedly ghostwritten.  What’s the point of that?  If I want Snookie, I want straightforward stupidity, not mediocrity from an unknown professional.  I might have paid money to read a book that Snookie had actually written (preferably without the assistance of an editor).  It would have been entertaining to count the mistakes sentence by sentence (misspelling, subject-verb agreement problem, used “I” when she should have used “me,” used “me” when she should have used “I,” made up a word, wrote “of” when she should have written “have,” used a word incorrectly, sentence fragment, sentence fragment, sentence fragment).  It would have been like Ulysses without the artistry.  If this book had both grammatical mistakes and true stories of drunken lewdness, then it could have been THE BEST MEMOIR EVER!

The publishers screwed up a great opportunity.

BEST BOOK SIGNING TEAM-UP EVER!!

Ann Coulter and Snookie!  That would be a great book signing combination.

For the right price, Ann Coulter would let you put a pie in her face, and Snookie would let you put your face in her… ugh, I can’t even finish the thought.

*****

Aaarrgh! I know this is a lame blog post.  As tempting as it is to delete it (and it’s tempting), I’m leaving it up to show my development as a blogger/writer.  Keep in mind that some of the people mentioned were public figure in 2011, and there was some crazy stuff going on with them.  Back then I saw this blog as practice because I knew nobody was reading it and I could experiment a little.  Now I can see that some experiments go horribly wrong.