Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey Reveals Shocking Secret!

Fans of famous actor Matthew McConaughey have a few reasons to buy his memoir Greenlights . Matthew McConaughey seems like a cool guy. I’d rather read a book written by a cool guy than one by a guy who comes across as a dick. McConaughey has photos of him going shirtless, so some of his fans will like that.

Plus, he tells a bunch of stories from his childhood. Everybody likes reading about childhood stories, as long as they’re funny and not too preachy.

McConaughey mentions that he used to get his mouth washed out with soap. I don’t think parents do that to kids anymore, but it was common back in the 1970s when McConaughey and I were growing up. When I mention getting my mouth washed out with soap, my daughter doesn’t believe me. She would be shocked that this happened to a celebrity like Matthew McConaughey too.

People will believe Matthew McConaughey, even though he has the word Con in his name. He even has the word Hey in his name. It’s almost like his last name is warning everybody that he’s a con. That’s not hiding in plain sight; that’s actually plain sight. But people will believe him anyway.

Anyway, here’s the mouth washing out excerpt from Greenlights:

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I got my mouth washed out for saying “shit,” “damn,” and “fuck,” but I only ever got into real trouble for the using or doing of the words that could harm me. Words that hurt. The words that helped engineer who I am because they were more than just words; they were expectations and consequences. They were values.

My parents taught me that I was named my name for a reason.

They taught me not to hate.

To never say I can’t.

To never lie.

*****

If you like that kind of writing, you’ll probably like Greenlights. If you don’t like that kind of writing but still like shirtless pics of shirtless Matthew McConaughey, you don’t need to read Greenlights as long as you have the internet.

And here’s an excerpt from my own ebook Crap Is NOT a Bad Word, where I also mention getting my mouth washed out with soap (But I don’t have pictures of me shirtless).

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Getting your mouth washed out with soap is a lot worse than it sounds. It happened to me a few times when I was a kid, and I don’t have the words to describe it. It was just pretty bad.

It started when I said the crap in front of my mom. When she told me not to say the word crap, I said it again. Then she warned me that if I said crap one more time, she’d wash my mouth out with soap. I weighed my options. How bad could soap be? I liked saying the word crap. So I got in my mom’s face and said the word crap, and she dragged me to the bathroom and shoved a lathery bar of soap into my mouth. After I sputtered and gagged and spit, I vowed that I would never say the word crap again, at least not in front of my mom.

*****

If you like that kind of writing, you’ll probably like Crap Is NOT a Bad Word.

But enough about me! What do you think? What childhood punishments from the past seem really weird today? Would you read Matthew McConaughey’s book if it hadn’t been written by Matthew McConaughey? Would you read Matthew McConaughey’s book even if it didn’t have pictures of him going shirtless?