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Awkward Moments in Dating: Breaking The Rules with My Wife

September 28, 2020

According to The Rules, women weren’t supposed to do this on the first date. (image via wikimedia)

My wife Heather called me two hours after we’d finished our ice cream.  I was surprised because I had just met her that evening and didn’t know that we would get married in a couple years.  I was also surprised because she had mentioned reading a book called The Rules, which was a huge dating bestseller in the 1990s.

We had talked about The Rules during one of our initial phone conversations before we met in person (you can get more info here at Awkward Moments in Dating: I Met My Wife and Didn’t Know It ).  The Rules suggested that women return to some dating traditions that had been declining since the 1960s (ugh… the 1960s) and 1970s (ugh… the 1970s).

One of The Rules was that the woman wasn’t supposed to call the man back for three days.  I could understand that.  Calling too early made a woman look too eager.

I didn’t have Heather’s phone number.  I didn’t trust women’s phone numbers anyway.  When I was In college, a couple women (not at the same time) had given me pizza-delivery phone numbers.  I had even recognized one of the numbers when the college girl gave it to me.   I had almost said to her “Your name is Dominoes?”  But I didn’t want the girl to know that I’d memorized pizza delivery numbers.

Anyway, I think one of The Rules was that the woman wasn’t supposed to give out her phone number to strange guys.  I don’t know; that might have been one of my own rules.  I’ve always thought women should have the phone numbers, if possible.  Yeah, a female friend of mine back then was a stalker, but that was more legally acceptable back in the 1990s.

Since Heather and I had met on a Saturday, I wasn’t expecting her to call back until Tuesday.  I was hoping she would call.  I was expecting her to call, not because I was a hotshot but because I hadn’t gotten any negative vibes from her while we had been hanging out.

When she called me late that Saturday night, I was surprised.

“You broke The Rules,” I said.

“I know.”  She didn’t sound concerned.

“The authors would be very disappointed in you.”

“I don’t think they’ll find out,” she said.

“I won’t tell them, ” I said.  “Unless they ask.  I won’t lie about it.”

“So… what did you think?”

“About what?  The ice cream was pretty good.”

“No,” she said.  “About me.”

“I think you’re breaking a rule again.”  She paused, so I thought that I’d better lay of The Rules references for a while.

“I had an idea,” she said.  “I think I want to see The Lion King tomorrow night.”

The Lion King had just come out a few weeks earlier and had a good reputation, even back then.  It wasn’t considered a classic yet, but almost everybody liked it.  I enjoy cartoons, but I despise musicals, so I knew I’d get fidgety during the songs.  I have to admit, though, I had liked one song in Alladin a couple years earlier.

Both of us were silent.  I had heard somewhere that sometimes women leave hints for guys to suggest that the woman is interested but the man has to take the initiative.  I wondered if this had been such a hint.  I didn’t have much time to overthink it.  I decided to act like she had just left me a hint.

“I just had an idea,” I said.  “There’s this movie that came out a few weeks ago, The Lion King, I think.  Do you want to go see it with me tomorrow night?”

“Sure,” she said.  “We can even call it a date.”

“Tomorrow is Sunday,” I said.  “The Rules say you should hold out for a Saturday night date.”

“I wanted to see The Lion King tomorrow night.”

“You don’t follow rules very well, do you?”

“I want to see the movie,” she said.  “I was going to go, whether or not you asked me.”

“Do you want to get something to eat too?”

“No, just the movie.  We’ll keep it short.”

Good, I thought.  I didn’t like eating on a first date.  The ice cream earlier that evening had been acceptable only because ice cream usually doesn’t stick to your teeth.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t a fan of the Sunday date, even without The Rules.  I’d have to work on Monday, and my job was stressful, so I usually used Sunday nights to get everything ready for the week and psych myself up.  As Heather and I were talking, part of me was thinking about whether or not it was a good idea to go to a movie on a Sunday night.

I didn’t care if it was breaking one of The Rules.  It was breaking one of my rules.

Then again, you don’t meet your wife for the first time every day.   If you do, you either have a lot of personalities or a lot of wives.  Looking back, I’m glad I asked her to go see The Lion King, and I’m glad she said yes.

But the story isn’t over yet.

To be continued (for at least 25 years, hopefully more)!


Enough about me!  If you’re married (or about to be), what did you do on your first date?

From → Dysfunctileaks

  1. My first girlfriend was 15 (I was 16) and she stole her sister’s car so we could go see Home Alone. It was awkward as hell.

    • Did she steal the car so that she could hang out with you or to go see the movie?

      I could have respected a car thief girlfriend. Just make sure your own car isn’t worth much, or else the break up can be expensive.

  2. We had coffee at a local restaurant. We ended up ordering food and talked for something like five hours. He called the next day (What rules? I don’t know about any rules.) and we’ve been together ever since.

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