Commentary on Anne Frank’s Dirty Jokes

(image via wikimedia)

Nobody should be surprised that Anne Frank wrote dirty jokes in her diary.  At least, I’m not surprised.  I’ve read The Diary of Anne Frank.  Don’t be fooled by the picture of an innocent-looking girl on the cover.  Her diary gets into some stuff that would have been shocking to a lot of people at that time.  The only people surprised by Anne Frank’s dirty jokes probably haven’t read her diary.  Maybe they’re just surprised that the jokes stayed secret for so long.

When I was a kid much younger than Anne Frank, I thought George Carlin’s dirty jokes were hilarious, even when I didn’t understand them.  Dirty jokes are even funnier to kids because kids know the jokes are forbidden.  Everything that’s forbidden is either funny or fascinating to a kid.  That’s why kids sometimes giggle uncontrollably in inappropriate situations, like at church or at school.

At least Anne Frank was respectful with her dirty jokes by trying to hide them.  She was so good at hiding her dirty jokes that it took more than half a century for some really smart people to figure out what they were.  This shows that Anne Frank could have been a lot of things if she had survived the war.  She could have been a writer, a comedian, a spy, or all three.  I have serious respect for her.

You can’t judge people by how innocent they look.  It’s like judging people’s character by how quiet they are.  It’s the quiet people you have to worry about.  But the quiet (or innocent-looking) people might also write the best dirty jokes.  I have no proof of that.  I’ve written a couple dirty jokes in my life, which surprises people because I’m kind of quiet.  Here’s one that I wrote for my blog a few years ago.  At least, I’m pretty sure I wrote it.  I’m getting to the age where I’m starting to make up memories.  I’m going to be embarrassed if I find out that I didn’t really write this joke.

Rich Guy Gets Off

One night while on vacation, a rich guy finished showering and stepped out naked from his bathroom.  When he walked into his bedroom, still naked, he surprised his hot young maid, who was fluffing some pillows.  He leered at her.  She smiled at him.

And a few hours later he was arrested.

A veteran police officer and a rookie were at the police station discussing the case and the prospects of the rich guy going to prison.

“The defense attorney said it’s an easy case,” the rookie said.  “The guy’s going to get off because when the maid told him to get off, he got off.”

“That’s not what the prosecution thinks,” the veteran said.  “They said he won’t get off because when the maid told him to get off, he got off instead.”

“Let me get this straight,” the rookie said.  “This rich guy might get off because he got off when the maid told him to get off, or he might not get off because he got off when the maid told him to get off.”

“This is worse than ‘Who’s on First?’” said the veteran.

“What are you talking about?” demanded the rookie.

“You’ve never heard of ‘Who’s on First?’” the veteran asked, astonished at the lack of knowledge this young rookie had.

“We already know who was on first,” the rookie said.  “We just don’t know how he got off.”

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

I’m not sure it’s fair to compare my dirty joke to Anne Frank’s.  I was older than she was when I wrote mine.  Plus, I didn’t have to fit mine on one sheet of paper and hide it, like she did.  On the other hand, her books have sold a lot more copies than mine, so her jokes should be held to a higher standard.  Maybe.

*****

What do you think?  Are you shocked that Anne Frank wrote dirty jokes in her diary?  Is it wrong to compare your own dirty jokes to Anne Frank’s?