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My Wife Accused Me of Mansplaining

May 10, 2018

(image via wikimedia)

My wife accused me of mansplaining, and I handled it by… mansplaining. Now she’s pissed off at me.  That’s the short version.

My wife and I were having a discussion about finances and remodeling.  It wasn’t an argument.  We’re at the point where we can usually discuss things and disagree without actually arguing.  That’s a pretty good place to be in a marriage.  The bad part about that, though, is that I can get a little too comfortable with myself and slip up.  You should never get too comfortable in a relationship.

Anyway, my wife wants to move ahead with some more remodeling and I want to wait a few more months.  I was reviewing the financial numbers with her, going month-to-month, and then week-to-week to show why it would be better to wait (too many unpredictable surprises could happen in the next few months and I want more money to handle those surprises), and my wife accused me of mansplaining.


I’d heard of mansplaining before.  I knew what it was, but it was one of those things that other men would get accused of.  How could I get accused of mansplaining?  I consider my wife’s point of view.  I have often changed my mind because of my wife’s opinion.  It was ridiculous of her to accuse me of mansplaining.  As often happens with me when something unforeseen happens, my brain glitches.

“It’s not mansplaining,” I said.  “It’s called logic.”

I meant this partially in humor and partially in seriousness, but that combination doesn’t always translate in my monotone voice.

“I meant that to be funny,” I clarified.  I’d never been accused of mansplaining, even at work.  Most of the women where I work probably mansplain, not because they’re men, but because there’s a lot of… explaining involved… with… stuff that needs… explaining… because it needs to be… explained.

If mansplaining is brought up too early in a relationship, it can destroy it.  The woman doesn’t like feeling like she’s being talked down to, and the man doesn’t like being accused of mansplaining, and he’ll get defensive, and then they break up and call their friends and complain to them about how horrible their ex is.  The accusation of mansplaining means the point of whatever was said is lost.  The man might (or might not) be right, but we’ll never know because the issue has changed to how something is explained.

Luckily, my wife and I have been married for over 20 years.  We can handle the mansplaining and the accusation of it.  Maybe I can pre-empt any opinion or commentary with a mansplaining alert.  If I announce ahead of time that I’m about to mansplain, it might make the mansplaining more tolerable to women who are sensitive to it.

I won’t apologize for mansplaining, though.  If I’m a man, then there’s probably a biological reason why I mansplain.  There’s also a thing called manspreading, but there’s a biological/physical reason for manspreading, and it makes logical sense for men to manspread when they sit.  There must also be a logical reason for men to mansplain too.  If I mansplain because I’m a man, then I’m not going to apologize for being a man.  If I’m mansplaining for another reason, then it shouldn’t be called mansplaining, and the accusers should apologize to men for falsely diagnosing what they think is wrong.

I don’t think my wife is going to accuse me of mansplaining again.  When my daughters heard about it, they laughed in front of my wife.  I’m not sure if they laughed at the idea of mansplaining or the idea that I did it, but they laughed in front of my wife.  I think my wife was having a bad moment when she accused me of mansplaining, and I don’t mean a female kind of bad moment because that would be a form of mansplaining.  I mean, she was having a bad moment like anybody can have a bad moment at any time of the day, week, month, or year.

A man has to be careful when he talks about a woman’s bad moments.  If a man’s remarks about his girlfriend/wife’s bad moments are misinterpreted, than a worse argument could happen and that could lead to a break up and any remarks about the situation would be called EX-plaining.

And that’s usually bad for a relationship.

From → Pop culture

  1. sirenaross permalink

    Ex-plaining. Hilarious.

  2. I thought mansplaining was when men tried to explain away sexist behavior?

  3. As I understand, mansplaining is not so much about what is being explained, but about the tone of how it is being explained – but as you point out, you talk in monotone voice, so I don’t see how mansplaining can even possibly be detected in your explanations.

  4. BoxerDog1973 permalink

    Boy…this sounds familiar. The ‘logic’ of waiting to remodel further has come up once or twice here as well.

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