Donald Trump vs. J.K. Rowling

This picture is so awesome, Donald Trump uses it on his Twitter page.

Social Media Rule #1:  Don’t mess with J.K. Rowling! (image via Wikimedia)

In a feud between Donald Trump and J.K. Rowling, almost everybody would root for J.K. Rowling.  That’s no insult to Donald Trump (though lots of people like insulting him).  J.K. Rowling would get public sympathy in a feud with just about anybody.  But last week, J.K. Rowling raised eyebrows a little bit during a speech when she defended Trump’s right to speak in England (if he ever chooses to).

As soon as Rowling mentioned Trump in her speech, she had to clarify what she was talking about with:

“Now, I find almost everything that Mr. Trump says objectionable. I consider him offensive and bigoted. But he has my full support to come to my country and be offensive and bigoted there. His freedom to speak protects my freedom to call him a bigot.”

When celebrities get involved with politics, it can be disastrous, but writers usually handle issues better than actors/singers/performers.  Rowling worded her statement carefully so that the focus wasn’t as much about Trump as it was about freedom of speech.  Even those who disagreed with her position on freedom of speech couldn’t get angry because she got her licks in on Donald Trump.  Trump supporters won’t get angry because J.K. Rowling is British, and Trump supporters don’t care what people outside the United States think about U.S. politics.

Even so, there are some similarities between Donald Trump and J.K. Rowling.  The similarities are not eerie, they’re not mind blowing.  They might even be trivial.  But still, they’re similarities.

•  Both are known for using social media.

J.K. Rowling tweets a lot.  Donald Trump tweets a lot.  I don’t follow either of them on Twitter because whenever one of them writes an interesting tweet, the media reports it.  Why would I follow somebody whose tweets get reported all over the place?  I only follow people who don’t get reported.

Maybe Trump tweets too much.  Maybe presidential candidates shouldn’t use Twitter at all.  Maybe somebody else is writing Donald Trump’s tweets.  I’m pretty sure J..K Rowling writes her own tweets.  Her tweets make the news without having to be controversial.  Therefore, when it comes to social media, J.K. Rowling wins.

•  Both have secret identities.

Back in the 1990’s, Trump pretended to be a publicist named John Miller talking to reporters.  Trump denies that he was the publicist, but nobody believes him.  That’s what I like about Trump.  He understands that when you have a secret identity, you never admit it.

On the other hand, a few years ago when Robert Galbraith was discovered to be J.K. Rowling, she didn’t try to cover it up.  That’s unforgivable.  Robert Galbraith’s own Twitter page even admits that he’s J.K. Rowling.  Disgraceful. J.K. Rowling obviously doesn’t understand the importance of secrecy in secret identities.

When it comes to secret identities, Trump wins.

•  Both have best-selling books.

J.K. Rowling has written one of the greatest fantasy series ever.  Trump has written (or somebody wrote for him) a book about how to make money.  If Trump becomes president, he’ll be able to write a memoir or two out of that.  I’m pretty sure J.K. Rowling has some good books left in her, even if she goes by a different name.

With apologies to Trump (or whoever wrote his books for him), this one isn’t even close.  J.K. Rowling wins this category.

Out of all the people who have attacked Donald Trump, J.K. Rowling is the only one whom Trump hasn’t counter-attacked.  Maybe Trump is afraid of J.K. Rowling.  If I were a politician, I wouldn’t want to take her on.  Maybe the Democrats should ditch Hillary Clinton and nominate J.K. Rowling.  Sure, she’s British, but Ted Cruz was Canadian and Republicans didn’t care.  If nationality becomes an issue, President Obama could sign an executive order making it okay.  Democrats could do worse than having J.K. Rowling as a presidential nominee (and probably will end up with somebody worse).

Whenever bloggers or websites needs to spike numbers, they write about Donald Trump or J.K. Rowling (or Game of Thrones or porn).  It must be nice to be Trump or Rowling because they can spike their own blog numbers just by writing about themselves.  Next week I think I’ll write an article about Donald Trump and J.K. Rowling starring in a porn version of Game of Thrones.  It will be a blockbuster.

*****

J.K. Rowling seems very polite.  Donald Trump seems like a guy who swears a lot.

Here’s the book dedicated to polite people who like to swear.

Now available on Amazon!