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When Super Bowl Commercials Ruin A Game…

January 26, 2015
(image via wikimedia)

(image via wikimedia)

As much as I love football, the worst part is the commercials.  Nothing destroys the flow of the game like a series of commercials after kickoffs, turnovers, and short series punts, not to mention time-outs.  And the worst game of all for commercials is the Super Bowl.

If the hype of the game itself has gotten out of control, the hype for Super Bowl commercials is even worse, with talk about how much time-slots cost, what stars are going to be in the ads, what new products are being introduced, etc..

Yeah, some of the commercials are funny, but the Super Bowl isn’t the time for funny.  The Super Bowl is a serious game, and a funny creative commercial is still just a commercial that gets in the way of the game.  And now I’ve just heard a news report (on a NEWS show) about a company promoting its Super Bowl commercials a week before the game.  I won’t mention the product because they’ve already gotten enough free advertising (unless they want to pay me).

Since the hype for upcoming Super Bowl commercials has already begun, it’s the perfect time to present…

Let’s Talk Football: A Super Bowl Joke!!!

The Super Bowl to a hardcore football fan is like New Year’s Eve to a drunk: it’s annoying because that’s when the amateurs come out.

So when a hardcore football fan was invited to a Super Bowl party, he was actually dreading it because it would be packed with a bunch of amateurs (women and guys who didn’t really care about the football game) and all they’d do is talk about the commercials.  Still, the hardcore football fan didn’t want to watch the big game by himself, so he decided to go.

And the party was worse than he thought it would be.

The amateurs cackled and guffawed at the commercials and talked really loudly about them during the game so that the hardcore football fan couldn’t hear the game commentary (If John Gruden’s not calling the game, the commentary doesn’t really matter, but still…).

During the halftime show, the hardcore football fan wanted to discuss the game, but everybody else was still ranking the commercials and talking about the teeny-bopper chick performing at the show.

When the third quarter resumed, the hardcore football fan tried to talk about the game some more, but the partiers were still discussing the teeny-bopper chick half-time performer and were still re-ranking the commercials after each new ad. The hardcore football fan had had enough (Using the phrase “had had enough” is grammatically correct in this situation).

The hardcore football fan couldn’t hear the game, and he was about to complain when the host approached him.

“I’m really sorry about this,” the host said, “but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“What?” the hardcore football fan replied, exasperated even though he felt out of place.  “But why?”

“Because people are complaining about you,” the host said.  “Whenever you talk about the game, nobody else can hear the commercials.”

*****

This isn’t quite a true story, but I was told during a Super Bowl party a few years ago to shut up because other people couldn’t hear the commercials.  This particularly offended me because these same people usually complained that I was too quiet (and I have a monotone voice).

Because of this, I’ll always be a little bitter towards Super Bowl commercials.

But enough about me!  How do you watch the game?  Do you like commercials better than the game? Ugh!  What seemingly trivial event in your life has made you irrationally bitter?

From → Dysfunctileaks

22 Comments
  1. I totally understand how you feel..I wouldn’t call myself a HARDCORE fan but if I’m watching the Superbowl, the holy grail of football, I could careless about anything but the game. I don’t mind the commercials because that is time for me to pee, grab a beer and maybe a snack w/o missing anything. The one thing that I’m bitter about is Tom Brady’s hair. It’s always so perfectly coiffed that if he doesn’t have a helmet on I am pissed and can’t watch. No man’s hair should be that luxurious and it pisses me off he is so pretty.

    • There’s a lot about Tom Brady that makes people bitter. And his coach ticks people off too. But at least his coach doesn’t have pretty hair.

  2. Hmmm… First of all I’m not a football fan. Not even a soccer fan which is widely consider the national sport around here. Nor I am a basketball fan which in my birth country is the holy grail of sport. Heck we have basketball court in every street corner so to speak.

    Tennis that is something else. Then in that respect I can understand where any die hard football fan is coming from. I even pretended to be sick few times so I can watch the final of Wimbledon live. But I must admit, since Steffi Graf and Pete sampras gone away, my interest in tennis is not how it used to be. My enthusiasm briefly rekindled with the coming of Rafa Nadal. Tall, dark, perfect combination of strength and vulnerability… it’s like coming home. After all, my country of origin had been a colony of Spain for more than 300 years. And who can resist that accent!

    But, but… I’m getting old, and Nadal got sick, and got sick again, I found out that I cannot sustain my enthusiasm anymore like before. But if I’m going to watch tennis again, and there will be lots of commercials, I don’t care if the intermission is bunch of good looking males scantily dressed, jumping up and down. I want tennis! I want tennis! Sorry, got carried away again.

  3. I read somewhere that, in all the hours and hours (and hours) of the Superbowl that is broadcast, the ball is in play for only about eleven minutes.

    Has anybody had the bright idea to record and edit it so that there is nothing but continuous play? You wouldn’t make it through a bowl of nachos watching it but it would free up the rest of your day to…oh, I don’t know…go outside and toss around a football.

    • “Has anybody had the bright idea to record and edit it so that there is nothing but continuous play?”

      Yes, and it’s great! Our On-Demand service gets each game from every week in a ten-minute episode of nothing but game action. It’s a little edited but still great. The only problem is that they take the games down after a week. I’d love to watch those during the off-season when I’m going through football withdrawal.

      • I’ve never seen a football game played straight through (other than the pick up games with friends in the mud or snow). I imagine that would be quite something.

  4. You know, this hype about the commercials has been going on for what… A decade? Two decades? Thing is…they aren’t even that good anymore. There was like a couple of years back in the day where everyone stood up and took notice, and since then, the commercials have been kind of…unremarkable. But they still have this reputation among the amateurs.

    • That’s true. I can’t remember any specific commercials, but I CAN remember the companies that got a lot of attention for their commercials. But I only remember the companies because other people (like news shows) talked about them. In my rigid mind, commercials shouldn’t get hyped by anybody except the company.

  5. I’m a Brit so i watch Rugby instead. Much faster pace so no time for adverts except maybe 3 mins at half time. Even these are generic adverts for the channel and not necessarily anything to do with the Rugby The rest of the break is filled by professionals talking through what had happened during that half. They have some pretty good pre-match statistics and team info and post match breakdown of what happened, what that means for the league or the other teams etc. I am counting down the days to the 6 nations and the World Cup (in England!) is going to be marvellous!

  6. It’s like Christians complaining that people are doing Christmas wrong- you have to accept that something you’re into is only interesting to other people once a year for the Big Event, and that they’re into it for different reasons. I’ve spent more time talking about the Christmas coke ad than the Midnight Mass, and I’m sure that that leads to a few church goers wondering where I’ll be come Shrove Tuesday, but, they don’t have to come to my party.

  7. Regardless how the commercials made it into the event, it was not done to attract the hard-core fan. The hard-core fan has been a secondary concern of the Super Bowl since somewhere around the time that the Fox channel took the NFL from NBC. Fox was the one that focused on the wife in the stands, John Smoltz sports psychologist at the World Series, and the super stars’ reaction to a play that occurred while he was on the sidelines. Fox decided that the other three networks did not market to the family enough, and they decided to incorporate emotional impact stories. Thus when Brett Favre gets hit, they show the wife say, “OH!” They know the hardcore fan will watch regardless how many sideline reports detail the day that the backup cornerback learned his child would be born with an inverted eyelid, and the day that the handsome quarterback pet a giraffe, and they will do it without apology. It ain’t about you and me anymore, follow hardcore fan, and it ain’t about the game. It’s about commerce.

  8. I haven’t seen a Super Bowl game in years since I was out of the country, but I’m looking to it this year, although mostly the pizza and wings. Actually I like both the game and the commercials but mostly the game.
    Incidentally, I went to a hockey game a few days ago and they had “media timeouts” every so often, which were just commercials. There is nothing more annoying than commercials at a live event.

    • Hockey is a great game to see in person (much better than football, and I love football), but media time-outs? Media time-outs are for commercials that you don’t see when you’re at the game. Even when I was in college, I didn’t go to games that I knew were televised because of those time-outs. Now, it’s tough to find a game that isn’t televised.

      • This was just a minor league game, so I don’t think it was televised. I think the commercials were just on the jumbotron in the stadium. Luckily, they weren’t pervasive or I would have been annoyed.

  9. I despise football to the point that I’ve been known to unfollow/mute anyone on my facebook/twitter feed who even mentions football in the weeks leading up to the so-called “Big Game.” Commercials are the only redeeming quality in an otherwise mind-numbing experience.

    The food is good, too.

  10. I have to admit, I love the Superbowl, but I’m definitely an amateur fan. I like the Superbowl because it’s a big event where my friends and family get together. In retrospect, I hope I’m not the annoying one that talks about the commercials (because I work in that Biz).

    HOWEVER, increased commercialism of sport is why American sports suck.

    I can watch football (and most sports) as long as the game is good. But if a team is getting shut out or, even worse, gives up after the half, this is what makes me irrationally angry. They get paid a bajillion dollars, are disrespectful to the refs and the fans, fake grievous injury (in certain sports), and sometimes break the law – with no consequence. Rah rah rah.

    IMHO, rugby is the sport of sports. You’re not allowed to argue with the ref, ever. It had me at that. Go All Blacks.

  11. As long as there is food and beer and Cokes, I don’t care either way.

  12. Funny you think that because some people I know only watch the super bowl for the commercials.

    • I agree, brittbet. That’s the only reason I watch the Super Bowl. Other than the Super Bowl, I don’t watch football or commercials at all.

  13. rdhbillsmafia permalink

    I like the Super Bowl commercials because there funny and i like watching them. But i don’t like the fact that they go on after every kick-off and punt or touchdown. I also don’t like how they just randomly go on during the game especially if something good ends up happening. I also like to have them play because i the football game is boring the commercials make me laugh and get me less bored and give me some entertainment.

  14. I love the question at the end. “what seemingly trivial event has made you irrationally bitter?” I am amused. Thanks!

  15. I like the commercials, but my husband and I are both hard-core football fans so each gets its time when its on. (Yes, the generalization about women was sexist.)

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