The Best Comic Book Ever!

It’s not the Avengers or the Fantastic Four that ticked off the Incredible Hulk; it was the small living space in those pricey New York high rises.

Choosing the best comic book ever wasn’t as difficult as people might think.  The best comic book ever must have four things; great art, great story, social relevance, and… aw, who am I kidding?  People read comic books for two reasons: fight scenes and hot chicks in skimpy outfits.  Unfortunately, when I was a kid, comic book women were cartoonish and proportionally unimpressive, so all we had were the fight scenes.

And Fantastic Four #26 had the best fight scene ever.  Therefore, Fantastic Four #26 is the BEST COMIC BOOK EVER!

Before Fantastic Four #26, comic book fight scenes weren’t very long.  They usually went on for only a couple panels and weren’t imaginative (except for some early Batman comic books).  But then Fantastic Four #26 came along, and the comic world changed for the better.  Yes, comics could have plots.  But even better, the fight scenes could take up pages and pages.  And the comic book universe is better for it.

A comic book fight scene has to have a compelling match up, and Fantastic Four #26, pitted the Fantastic Four and the Avengers against the Incredible Hulk.  Almost all great comic book fight scenes involve the Incredible Hulk.

The Incredible Hulk is the superhero version of cheese; by himself he’s kind of boring, but he makes everything else better.  A fight between the Thing and the Hulk is pretty cool.  A fight between the Fantastic Four and the Hulk is even better.  A brawl between Hulk and the Avengers is about as good as it gets.  But the Fantastic Four vs. Hulk vs. the Avengers?  I tear up (as in weeping) just thinking about it!

This fight scene was so great that it took two issues to resolve.  The fight started in Fantastic Four #25 as a slug-fest between the Thing and the Hulk (don’t ask what started it; it doesn’t matter).  Of course, the fight got out of control.  And the next thing you know, both the Fantastic and the Avengers got involved.

A great comic book fight scene isn’t just characters hitting each other.  Even I’d get bored with that.  This fight scene in Fantastic Four (#25 and) #26 went everywhere.  They fought in the streets, on the river, on a bridge, on a boat, in the sewer, on top of buildings, on top of cars, inside a bus.  It was like a tour of the city with lots of property damage.

Just as Fantastic Four #26 was an all-issue fight scene, The Avengers movie (I can’t get myself to write Marvel’s Avengers) was almost an all-movie fight scene.  That’s what made The Avengers movie so great.  Most super hero movies waste the first half with a (boring) origin story.  The Avengers’ origin was a bunch of fight scenes.  I almost cried as I watched it.

Without Fantastic Four #26, the all-issue fight scene might never have been invented.  And without an all-issue fight scene in a comic book, an all-movie fight scene like The Avengers might never have been made.

COMICS THAT AREN’T QUITE BEST EVER!

Action Comics #1- The first appearance of Superman.  The most expensive comic (and most sought out comic) ever!  The one comic everybody hopes to find in their attic!  The one comic book that started the whole super-hero craze!

How can this NOT be the BEST COMIC BOOK EVER?

Try reading Action Comics #1 just for the heck of it.  8 pages out of 64 are Superman, and the rest are of characters that nobody has ever heard of before (and there’s a reason for that).  Chuck Dawson never got his own comic book.  And if he did, they didn’t survive the World War II paper drives.

*****

Detective Comics #27-  The first appearance of Batman, the COOLEST SUPER HERO EVER!!  Yeah, this could be thought of as the BEST COMIC BOOK EVER for the same reasons as Action Comics #1 (I wouldn’t mind finding this in my attic either).

Unfortunately, it has the same problems as Action Comics #1 as well.

*****

The Dark Knight Returns- This 1980s series was pretty awesome and influential, but it was a four-issue series, so it can’t count as a single issue comic book.

*****

Avengers #4- The first Silver Age appearance of Captain America (if you don’t know what that means, then you’re probably a normal person).  It also has a great fight scene, but the issue is interrupted by a weird two-page subplot involving some lettuce-headed alien.

A lettuce-headed alien disqualifies a comic book from being BEST EVER!

If the lettuce-headed alien shows up in Marvel’s Avengers II (Ugh, I can’t believe I just wrote that), then I’ll reconsider.

*****

Real fights aren’t as cool as comic books (or movies) make them look.  The last time I was in a fight, all I saw was the guy’s fist, and then I felt a blinding flash of pain.  I didn’t get a chance to make a threat about conquering the world before I got punched out.  I didn’t even get in a good quip.  I wouldn’t have made a good super-hero or a good super-villain.  I wouldn’t have even made a good henchman.  Luckily, nobody drew the fight and put it in a comic book (or filmed it and put it on the internet).

My fight definitely would not have provided material for the BEST COMIC BOOK EVER!

*****

The true story of a writer’s one moment of high school glory!!

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