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How to Choose Political Parties: A Republican vs. Democrat Joke

March 31, 2012
Number of self-identified Democrats vs. self-i...

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A bunch of college guys were sitting around in their frat house when the fraternity smooth talker made an announcement. 

“I have decided what I am going to do after college,” the smooth talker declared.  “I am going to become a politician.” 

The other frat guys nodded, since the smooth talker had shown little aptitude for anything except an amazing ability to convince women to give him stuff for nothing in return (except momentary affection and empty promises). 

“Now that I have chosen my career, I must choose my political party,” the smooth talker continued.  “Should I become a republican or a democrat?  I don’t even know the difference between the two.” 

“There isn’t a difference,” said the fraternity hunk, who was a libertarian.  “The only difference between republicans and democrats is that most republicans at least know that their candidates suck.” 

“That is a shallow way of delineating the differences between republicans and democrats,” the frat intellectual said.  “It depends on where you stand on a number of issues.  What do you think about the economy, the deficit, the national debt, health care, gas prices, national defense, and the environment?” 

“Babes,” the smooth talker said.  “Which party has more babes?” 

“Women tend to vote democrat a bit more than they do republican,” the intellectual responded. “But that’s not a valid reason to…” 

“Then a democrat I shall be!” the smooth talker proclaimed, cutting off the intellectual.  “I shall represent women, and minorities, and the poor in their struggles against the oppressors in this country.” 

“But you are the oppressor,” the hunk said, puzzled.  “You treat women like dirt in your personal life.  You voted the poor students out of this fraternity because they couldn’t pay their dues.  You tell the vilest racist jokes I’ve ever heard.  And you say you want to help these people?” 

“I am a politician,” the smooth talker said with a wink.  “Just because I say I want to help women, minorities, and the poor doesn’t mean I have to hang out with them.” 

And with that, the smooth talker stepped out of the frat house to begin his political career. 

The hunk was furious, but the intellectual couldn’t figure out why. 

“You always thought the smooth talker’s antics were funny when he got women to pay his way for everything,” the intellectual said.  “What has changed?” 

“I just got hired by a huge corporation,” the hunk explained.  “Now that he’s a politician, it’s guys like me that will have to pay his way for everything.”

From → Jokes/Generic

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