God Tells Politician to Run for President- A (kind of) Religious Joke

A politician died and found himself in heaven (okay, you already know this isn’t a true story), but instead of being grateful, the politician demanded to speak directly to God. 

“God!” the politician ranted.  “You told me to run for president, and it was the worst decision in my life.  I looked stupid in the debates.  All my mistakes in my past were made public.  I was humiliated, and my political career was turned into a national joke.  How could you give me bad advice like that?” 

“It is not your place to judge my advice,” God said.  “When I told you to be honest, you did not listen.  When I told you not to sexually harass women, you did not listen.  When I told you not to accept bribes, you did not listen.  When I told you not to drink, you did not listen.  The only time you listened to me was when I told you to run for president.” 

The politician was dejected.  “I cannot believe that God lied to me,” the politician muttered, not seeing the irony in his remarks. 

“I did not lie to you,” God said.  “I told you to run for president.  I never said that you would win.”