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Don’t Make Eye Contact! A Sexual Harassment Joke

November 7, 2011

A lawyer was on the phone in his office, and a client was waiting patiently next to the lawyer’s desk.  While the lawyer was still talking quietly, his secretary strolled into his office.  The client raised his eyebrows at this vision of beauty.  She wore a tight dress which displayed ample natural cleavage and curved smoothly around her backside.  She confidently placed a file on her boss’s desk, bending down a bit so that the lawyer and his client could get an eyeful. 

“Thank… you,” the lawyer said, almost mechanically, not making eye contact with the secretary.  “I… appreciate… all… the… competent… work… you… do.” 

When the secretary left the office, the client almost commented about the lawyer’s self-restraint, but the lawyer signaled him to be quiet for another moment.

 After the phone conversation was over, the client said, “Time’s have changed.  A few years ago you would have said something lewd or suggestive to that babe.” 

“Yeah,” the lawyer said.  “But I’ve learned that sometimes I have to be careful with what I say.” 

The client shook his head.  “It’s that sexual harassment political correctness run amok.” 

“No,” the lawyer said.  “That was my wife on the phone.” 



I didn’t know whether to list this next BONUS JOKE as a porn joke or another sexual harassment joke.  I don’t think I’m ready for Dysfunctional Literacy to have a PORN JOKE category, so I’ll just use it here. 


A porn actress had just finished her scene(s) for the day when the director called her over.  After a short conversation, it was pretty clear that the director was expecting the actress to engage in some performance art with him but not in front of the cameras and for no pay.  Since the actress did not perform for free, she declined, and the director threatened her, saying that she would never find another job in the business again (an empty threat, but still a threat). 

“That’s sexual harassment,” the porn actress said.  “And I don’t have to take it anymore.” 

“Sexual harassment in porn is like crying in baseball,” the director said.  “And there’s no crying in baseball.” 

“I’m studying to become a lawyer,” the actress replied (she might not have been telling the truth).  “And you have just created a work environment that is uncomfortable and hostile to me.  If you continue, I will find a high profile lawyer, and I will own this studio by the time I’m finished with you.” 

After much apologizing on the part of the director, the actress left with a lot of extra money for no extra work.  The director shifted and sighed. 

“A work environment that is uncomfortable and hostile?” the porn director thought.  “If men weren’t uncomfortable or hostile around women, there wouldn’t be a need for porn.”

From → Jokes/Generic

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