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Football Player Arrested for Sagging Pants on Airplane Gets Revenge

June 18, 2011

A football player and his friend were entering an airplane with their carry-on luggage when the friend noticed that the football player was wearing sagging pants with the top of his boxers displayed for public viewing. 

“Hey,” the friend said, concerned.  “Weren’t you arrested last week for not pulling up your pants on an airplane?” 

“Yes,” said the football player. 

“And you’re doing it again?” the friend clarified. 

“Yes,” said the football player.  “Same pants.  Same airline.”  Then he pointed to the flight attendant who hadn’t seen him yet.  “Same stewardess.” 

After they had been seated for awhile and the plane was about to take off, the flight attendant finally realized the football player was on the plane.  When she recognized him, she saw that even sitting, his pants were below his butt, and she could see his boxers. 

“Sir,” she said, trying to use a patient tone.  “We’ve been through this before.  You know those pants don’t meet our airline’s dress code.” 

Instead of arguing, the football player said respectfully, “I’m sorry, but I forgot.  I have a change of attire in my carry-on luggage.  May I please switch clothes before take-off?” 

The other passengers grunted and groaned in disgust as the football player stood and reached up to the luggage compartment and revealed his boxers.  They grunted and groaned in disgust as he bent down and revealed the V-shaped tip of butt crack while he retrieved his change of pants.  

Once in the bathroom at the back of the plane, the football player took off his sagging pants and then stared at the pair of tight NBA “package” shorts from the 1970’s that he had gotten out of his luggage.  He breathed in deeply, and then stuffed himself into them, wondering how Magic Johnson and Larry Bird could have run around in these for so many years. 

The shorts were so tight that he had to walk bow-legged down the aisle.  The flight attendant was tight lipped as she stared at the tight shorts.  Very few things in life are more disturbing than a grown man in tight 1970’s “package” shorts, but technically, it was within airline dress code.  She couldn’t say anything about it. 

The football player smiled in satisfaction as he saw the quiet reaction of the other passengers.  They understood.  He had made his point. 

The football player strapped himself in as the airplane taxied down the runway, and he began to feel uncomfortable. 

The football player’s buddy nudged him.  “Well played, my friend.  Well played.” 

“Not well played,” the football player said, gritting his teeth and squirming in his seat.  “It’s a four hour flight, I can barely move, I’ve got a wedgie, and my boys are snagged.”

*****

From → Jokes/Generic

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