The ‘Fake’ Book Signing

Even though I self-published my novel The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy over a year ago, I’ve never done an official book signing. By ‘official,’ I mean going to a book store, arranging a table of my books (with the store’s permission), and sitting there for a set amount of time as customers walked by. I’ve kind of wanted to do one just to see what it’s like, but I’ve seen too many lonely, awkward book signings.  I didn’t want to take the time and effort to set everything up only to have a lonely, awkward book signing.

I mean, I really wanted to avoid the lonely, awkward book signing.

There are two major problems with the lonely, awkward book signing.  First, hardly anybody shows up (that’s the lonely part).  Also, a lot of indie authors are kind of an awkward people (that’s the awkward part). I’m not insulting writers or indie authors; I’m just speaking for myself and some indie-authors that I’ve seen in the lonely, awkward situation.  Even if the author isn’t awkward, the situation itself might seem awkward.

My college student daughter has been supportive of my book, even if she hasn’t finished reading it (that’s a separate issue). She’s known that I have wanted to do a book signing but also don’t want to have a lonely, awkward book signing. Even though my daughter has a lot of my personality, she’s not awkward, and she’s a very good organizer. Together, we came up with a way to do a ‘fake’ book signing that wouldn’t be lonely.

Awkward? I can’t do much about that.

I’m not sure who thought of what in this process.  I think my daughter suggested that I try a book signing at one of her university events, especially one that a lot of fathers attend.  I wanted fathers to be there because my book seems to appeal to that age group more than it does for college-aged women (who normally read romantic comedy novels).

Several of these family weekend events have fundraisers, so one of us thought of using the book as a way to donate to the event’s charity.  In that way, people wouldn’t just be buying a book; they’d be donating to the charity (we’ll do anything for the children).  And we made it clear that all the proceeds go to the charity. 

Last weekend, we implemented our plan. We set up the book signing table (with permission) slightly out of the way in a high-traffic area within a weekend university event.    My older brother, the cartoonist of the comic strips on this blog, was also there to fill in the gaps if my brain suddenly shut down during a conversation (it happens). He’s the talker in the family,  the guy who won’t shut up.  He’s even more capable of making normal situations awkward than I am, but it’s usually harmless and funny.  He’s never gotten punched out for being awkward, so I consider that ‘harmless.’  He might have been threatened a couple times in his life for talking too much, though. 

Anyway, he was at the table as well.  He’s read the book twice (even I haven’t done that!), so he’s more of an expert than I am.

In 90 minutes, we sold 16 copies of the book and raised a decent/respectable amount of money for the charity that the event was fundraising for. We gave away 2 books, and 1 was stolen. I was actually proud that somebody stole my book. To be fair, it was just sitting on a random table, and somebody might have just taken it out of curiosity. The last copy was a backwards misprint, so I kept that one out of circulation. Those flawed first print variants can be worth a lot in 50 years.

At one point, a line actually formed.  Most of the ‘customers’ asked questions about the book and the process.  I tried to write more than just my name.  I’ve been to a couple ‘official’ book signings, and the author just signed his/her name.  It was a little impersonal.  I understand that, though, because there were dozens, maybe hundreds, of people in line for the ‘real’ authors, so writing anything personal would have been nearly impossible. 

After one hour, I was already tired of signing books and talking to people.  It makes sense.  If I can barely handle a five-minute birthday party, then a one-hour book signing is a stretch for me.  I probably won’t do a real book signing.  Even though I like my book, there probably won’t be a demand for a book signing, and I’m not going to force the issue.

I know how to handle future lonely awkward book signings that I run into at local book stores.  In the past, I’ve avoided other authors’ lonely, awkward book signings (I’m not proud of that).  Now I know to ask questions and have an actual conversation with the author.  Normal people (if they exist) already know how to ask questions during a book signing without having experienced one before, but I guess that’s part of what makes me awkward.

From now on when I see an indie-author book signing, I’ll talk to the author and ask questions about the book, how the author gets his/her ideas, what the author plans to do next. I won’t talk about my own book (unless the topic of how to avoid lonely, awkward book signings comes up). The book signing is for the author.   And even if I don’t purchase the book, the author will probably appreciate having had the conversation.

I’m not sure if our book signing last weekend was real or fake. It was real because I signed the books and put effort into it. It was ‘fake’ because it wasn’t at a book store and all the money went to charity (people weren’t really buying the book to buy the book). I’m not insulting the book signing. I think the ‘fake’ book signing was much more successful than any real book signing that I could have done. At the very least, we avoided the lonely, awkward book signing. We might have also accidentally discovered a book signing template that other indie authors (without a network) can use.

And hopefully the money that was raised will do some good!

Thank you, daughter! Thank you, brother! And thank you to everybody at the university who came out and supported the event!

HOW TO AVOID A LONELY, AWKWARD BOOK SIGNING: SHORT VERSION (maybe this should have been at the top of my post)

If you’re an indie-author, here’s how to avoid a lonely, awkward book signing:

* Choose a busy event or busy location.

* Sell the book cheap.

* Have a talker who attracts people and/or keeps conversations going.

* Donate the proceeds to charity.

And here’s how to get a signed copy from the trunk of my car.

For more about The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy, see…

Aaarrrgh! I Found Mistakes in My Recently Published Book!  

The Main Character Of My Novel Is Not A Simp!

The Evolution of a Book Cover- The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy