Return of the Nitpicky English Teacher!

I haven’t been in a public school classroom in over five years, but sometimes the English teacher reflexes still kick in.  When I found this copy of Thongor in the City of Magicians in a used book store and read the cover, my first thought was, “That modifying phrase is in the wrong place.”

Here’s the sentence that caught my attention:

“Thongor battles the satanic power of Zaar’s science and sorcery- armed only with his Valkarthan broadsword.”

I mentally corrected it to the following:

“Thongor, armed only with his Valkarthan broadsword, battles the satanic power of Zaar’s science and sorcery.”

Yeah, the sentence on the cover is more dramatic, and that’s what’ mattered most ‘s important to the book publishers.  I know this stuff doesn’t really matter.  I know nobody reads that sentence and thinks that the Valkarthan broadsword belongs to the sorcery. Everybody who reads that sentence knows that the ‘his’ refers to Thongor.

Plus, the book came out in 1968, so nobody involved with this book would care right now anyway.

I didn’t tell anybody around me in the store about this ‘error.’  I haven’t mentioned this to my friends or relatives.  I’m mentioning it only here.  This is my blog.  That’s the whole point of having a blog, to talk about stuff that nobody else in my life cares about.  

I don’t talk about grammar much in my personal life.  I know where it would lead me if I did.  I remember what happened whenever I talked about grammar in my classroom when I was a teacher, but I had to do it.  It was almost part of the curriculum.  I think every year it became less and less part of the curriculum even though nobody in charge would openly admit it.

I bought the book Thongor in the City of Magicians for $3.00.  It might not be my favorite kind of barbarian story, but at least the author came up with his own barbarian and didn’t try to make it into a Conan book.  A lot of authors like to write Conan stories instead of making up their own barbarian, so I respect Thongor and his Valkarthan broadsword, even if the publisher’s sentence structure might be a little off.

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If you’ve read my book, you might see that I’ve made my own share of mistakes (Aaaaarrrrgh!), so maybe I have no room to talk.

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A grammar-obsessed English teacher falls in ‘luuuvvv’ but discovers how chaotic and dangerous ‘luuuvvv’ can be.

Or you can buy a copy here on Amazon!

Not sure? Read a sample chapter of The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy.

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And here are more nitpicky English teacher observations:

Bad Sentences in Classic Literature: Jane Eyre  

Bad Sentences in Classic Literature: The Great Gatsby

Bad Sentences in Classic Literature: The Scarlet Letter 

Bad Sentences in Classic Literature: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

Bad Sentences in Classic Literature: Great Expectations  

Bad Sentences in Classic Literature: Pride and Prejudice

Bad Sentences in Classic Literature: Catch-22