Old Things That Are Tough To Explain: Playing A Game Called “Smear The Queer.”
A game called “Smear the Queer” probably sounds like hate speech today, but it wasn’t meant that way by the kids I knew who played it in the 1970s.
Smear the Queer was a simple game. All you needed was a bunch of guys and a football. You’d throw or toss the football, everybody would scramble for it, and the kid who picked it up would run around with it until he got tackled. Then the kid who got the tackle (or successfully scrambled for the ball afterwards) would run around with the football until he got tackled.
Whoever had the football would be the target. The target was the “queer.”
Smear the Queer was great because you didn’t need a particular number of guys to play. Anywhere from two to infinity would work. You could play it anywhere, in a yard, in a park, in the street. You could stop whenever you wanted, and newcomers could join. All you needed was a football and a bunch of guys willing to run around and get tackled.
Playing smear the queer is a pleasant memory for me, so much so that I almost included a reference to it in my ONE novel, The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy, but the scene didn’t quite work, so I had to delete it (I mean, I deleted the scene with smear the queer; I didn’t delete the book).
Even though people today might associate the name with hate speech, “Smear the Queer” has a nice sound to it. The words “smear” and “queer” rhyme. It’s good to have a rhyme when you name your game.
“Tackle the Guy with the Ball” is kind of a boring name for a game. Yeah, it might not be considered hate speech and it’s an accurate description of the game, but it’s not very imaginative.
Despite the negative connotations of the word “queer,” even back when I played Smear the Queer, everybody wanted to be the queer. The whole point was to get the ball and then get tackled. It would have been a short game if nobody had ever gone for the ball. With no queer, there would have been nobody to get smeared.
Even if you think the name “Smear the Queer” is a form of hate speech, I’m not going to blame my pre-teen self for saying the name or playing the game. Somebody else named the game, and we didn’t have an alternative name. Maybe if we can ever find the person who came up with the name “Smear the Queer,” maybe we can blame him. Until then, I’m just the messenger.
I’ll admit, Smear the Queer would be considered sexist today because girls never played. We never asked girls to play, and they never volunteered. If a girl had ever asked, we probably would have let her play and then gone easy on her. If she had then lectured us about how she demanded to be treated equally, we probably would have broken her arm.
Not on purpose. It just might have happened that way.
I’m too old to play Smear the Queer now. I’d probably blow out my knee or get a herniated disc or do something else stupid. But I still have fond memories of Smear the Queer. I guess that when I talk about it from now on, I’ll have to call it something else.
*****
There was another game that we played when I was a kid, but I don’t remember the name of it. A group of us would sneak up on a neighbor’s porch, ring the door bell, and run away.
What was that called again? Uh, something to do with… knocking?
Uh…
Umm…
Yeah… Never mind. I just remembered what it was called. I’m not going to write about that particular game. That one would be way too tough to explain.
*****
Enough about me! What do you think? Is there another name for “Smear the Queer”? Is there anything wrong with the name “Smear the Queer”?
*****
A grammar-obsessed English teacher falls in ‘luuuvvv’ but discovers how chaotic and dangerous ‘luuuvvv’ can be.
The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy
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I remember that “game” very well. It usually ended with some kid crying or blubbering.
I think that was the point, to see whose spirit (or bones) would break first.
How about Tackle the Jackal?
That’s pretty good. “Tackle the Jackal” is a good alternative… until the word “jackal” becomes hate speech sometime in the next few years/decades.
Too true. And funny.
Hey this guy is funny.
Hey this guy is hilarious
Fun article, I spent many afternoons with friends playing smear. Curious though, what’s wrong with ding-dong ditch?
I was curious, so I looked it up. We always called it “ding-ding ditch” as well, but I grew up in the 80s.
Apparently it was also called “n-word knocking”. =0
I remember it was also called Kill the Carrier.
Thanks! I’ve never heard of Kill the Carrier. Kill the Carrier isn’t too bad. Alliteration isn’t as good as a rhyme, and the word ‘Kill’ is a bit violent, but at least it’s not Kill the Queer.
😂😂😂
No it was always smear the queer and my kids play it with their friends and they call it that to , people are just to soft these days
Enjoyed your piece. I have one of those “Mc” last names that rhymes with queer, so our neighborhood games invariably devolved into a game of “Smear McQueer. As such, I always seemed to have the ball more than my fair share. But, as your main article indicates, that wasn’t a problem. If the ganging-up ever got out of hand, my sister (3 years younger, but tougher and meaner than all of us), would jump in and even things out. Great memories growing up in the 60’s and 70’s.
That was a fun game. Everything back then was more fun. I feel sorry for today’s coddled pc kids .
It’s a very fun game that I remember playing in kindergarten. You know what else I remember from kindergarten? We were roughhousing and got shoved and slid on my back until I ended face up looking up a girl’s skirt, and wishing I had what she had. It’s not a matter of coddling, it’s about understanding that we all have different understandings because we grow up under different circumstances.
nonce
I don’t know if ‘everything’ was more fun, but I know what you mean. I kind of like internet scrolling.
I’m glad you have positive memories of this game, but it was also often used as an excuse to beat up and bully actually lgbt kids, or kids that others THOUGHT were gay. Having something thrown at you and then being tackled by a group of other kids isn’t necessarily fun when you didn’t volunteer to play.
I don’t know. We rarely threw the ball at anybody. Back then, if bullies wanted to antagonize somebody suspected of an alternative lifestyle, they just did it overtly by calling him names or beating him up. They didn’t need a game like Smear the Queer to bully. I’m not condoning that behavior; I’m just saying that’s how it was.
Yeah. All the gay boys hated it when other boys tackled them….. lmao
Really?
No ‘gay’ kid I ever grew up with wanted to play these ‘meathead’ games with us.
They were typically hanging out with the hottest girls in our class and likely doing the things we all wanted to do.
Stop with the ridiculous victimized bs..
We all have a hard life.
Stop being a victim
“We all had a hard life so stop trying to make me empathize, asshole.” – An interrogator when the victim starts crying.
Yeah, no “gay” kid *wanted* to play those games. That’s the point. The meanest kid thought the game was funnest if they could make fellow students, just having fun, smear the weakest kid. It adds a whole peer-pressure element to the bullying. It only happens like once, and not everywhere, but it’s a quick and easy way to make a kid hate themselves for being weak and alone, even while loving the things that keep them that way.
As the littles and weakest one that played this game with his friends. Shut up and stop talking for me. Use your own voice and speak from experience. Stop generalizing and assuming.
Thank you. That desires my experience with STQ as the “femme boy” at my school.
Never did that to anyone and this is the first I have ever herd this. I think you’re making it up.
Never did that to anyone and this is the first I have ever herd this. I think you’re making it up.
Yes. I was the kid suspected of being gay, so no football was needed to play smear the queer. I was always the queer and I literally thought I was going to die sometimes being crushed by 6 people. Several guys on my tennis team decided to make a variation of the game, so smear the queer was yelled and they would pelt me with tennis balls.
I just think people should realize that not everyone has the same experience with this type of stuff growing up. For straight guys, it’s funny to temporarily ‘be the queer.’ Kinda like how it’s hilarious to straight guys if they put on heels and act ditsy as a girl (never understood that one.) So, why was the game called smear the queer in the first place??? Because you’re pretending to smash a queer person and ‘everyone finds that funny’ if you’re a straight guy.
I read somewhere years ago that it came from rugby in England. A sort of warm up game that the kids would play during practice. Queer meaning odd. As in Odd Man Out.
Oh, that would make since.
After watching us play as kids, my grandfather referred to the game as kill the quarry. A game that he played in the early 1900s. Gay use to mean happy and queer used to be different or an exception. I can tell you from experience. The kids that play this game aren’t thinking about the name the name, they’re just having a whole lot of fun playing a game they love. A game with very few rules A game with very few rules. The last thing it needs is rules regarding its name.
How sad our children today are shamed for not being “inclusive” and are called racist only because of the color of their skin. We would never let a girl play smear the queer but we had one tomboy girl we would let play “touch” football with so she could play without getting hurt. Today that little girl might be a testosterone filled, gender transitioned, raging maniac. No thanks.
I/ we played the game in the 80’s. I first started playing about age 6 and played it until about 10 or 11. Did not really know what the name of game was referring to until about the time I/we no longer played the game.
There is nothing wrong with the title “smear the queer”. Years ago in the late 70s my mom dropped me off at a friend’s birthday party and I told her that’s what everyone was playing. She got extremely shocked offended and said “can’t you all just call it smear the football?” I laughed and laughed (on the inside of course).
There is nothing wrong with the title “smear the queer”. Years ago in the late 70s my mom dropped me off at a friend’s birthday party and I told her that’s what everyone was playing. She got extremely shocked and offended and said “can’t you all just call it smear the football?” I laughed and laughed (on the inside of course).
I played I when I was a kid and yes sometimes in the streets of Miami.
Came home bloody and bruised but I had fun and it made me tough
Interesting the two distinctly separate tones voiced in the comments here. Several people convey feelings that “smear the queer” was a fearful event meant to
C’mon, was meant to what?! we need to know!
We called it Muckle Ball.”
i remember this game hours of fun. Isn’t it kinda like rugby. I also wanted to say that Ivr know a few girls who would play amd some of them were just as tough as the boys.
I think the game halo had the best change. Keeps the spirit but doesn’t rhyme. Oddball.
We played Smear The Queer when I was a kid in the 70’s. I lived in the desert and there wasn’t any grass in my neighborhood so we played in the street or in a dirt lot nearby. So it was common to get bloody pretty quickly in our games. Kids were tougher in those days. Now they spend most of their time gaming online.
Even though I have decent memories of Smear the Queer, I might have preferred gaming online if it had been available.
I loved to play smear the queer growing up in the 80’s-90’s. I was always the first to be queer and grab the ball, ( but I never ran away. ) I ran into everyone close by and I’d knock them on their collective ass’. Everyone was Soo afraid to be hurt or tackled, not me. I would charge in head first and aim for those coming at me and purposely to knock them out of the way so I could make a break for it. Turns out I am gay but it had nothing to do with the game. I ended up playing Rugby for a few yrs and then coaching a high school female Rugby team as well as the high male Rugby team. I taught them how to take a hit and how to hit back twice as hard on the field. Weird I know, but glad the game still exists and I don’t consider it homophobic ora hate crime. Just a game for Rugby pre-training or football I guess. And it’s also a great game for commraderie, team building, and a random life long friendships.
I confess I played Smear the Queer all through elementary school — maybe after. But it def wasn’t homophobic. The person who got smeared was always the person who picked up the ball- no bias at all . Later, all those players ended up playing high school football
We played it in the 70’s at my family reunions and I am a female. No broken bones but no holding back either. It probably helped that the area we played in was sandy so getting tackled didn’t hurt as bad. And I wasn’t the only girl playing.
I’m 71, and played that in grade school, 50’s-60’s. Agree, did not have a sexist connotation then.
STQ is probably great fun. As long as you’re not queer! Which was my case. For me recess was a nightmare. Either getting beat up for playing girl games or getting beat up playing STQ. It was a no win situation for me. That was 50 years ago and I still get pissed off thinking about.
I remember both games fondly; and I won’t call them anything else!
Smear the queer is the name and if the emotionally challenged social justice warriors succeed in canceling that name a new name will replace it and it will probably be worse. Can society please focus on more pressing issues that really matter. It’s the sticks and stones that matter not the names
Very much enjoyed the main article at top, agreed, good fun. Unstructured play with ones peers was quality time indeed. I used to play STQ after school with my buddies in the 80’s. If you could hang onto the football for more than 30 seconds, you were doing well. We usually stopped once we were battered and bruised enough. My mom was typically less than impressed with the state of her son and the excess amounts of mud on just about everything. Those were the days..
We grew up playing politically incorrect games, cowboys and Indians, smear the queer, knocking, and it was great. People weren’t such sensitive p#%%*{s!
I remember playing Smear the Queer in my front yard until dad got home and ended it. He was very proud and protective of his Bermuda grass lawn and the thick, spongy turf was great to play on. Of course after playing it looked like a bunch of golfers hacked divots everywhere. Fun times.
Haha! Smear the Queer often ended with some middle-aged (or old) guy yelling “GET OFF MY LAWN!!” You’re right; fun times.
Ding Dong Ditch or Doorbell Dash
It was great fun back then. I remember the tough kid would walk up and just pick up the football and we would let him have it. I thought we used to call it ‘tackle smear’
I’m a girl, and I used to play Smear the Queer all the time with the guys down the street. I was actually the best tackler.
Played it in Monterey , Ca . around ‘66 . I was only about 7 playing with older guys and got so smeared i remembered limping home trying not to cry with my whole body feeling squashed .
I remember playing smear the queer (with the ball). The other “game” (really a prank) you described, but would not name is what we called Ding Dong Ditch. I am curious what you called it as I don’t find what we called it offensive in this day and age.
we played that game in the early and mid 1960s. Same name. My sister was a tough one and also her friend across the street. They occasionally joined in.
The girls in our neighborhood played. We were all equal. However, my mom was never a fan when we played in an empty lot across the street from my house.
smear the queer meaning queer was odd person out that was the person that grabbed the ball smear was all the guys getting together to tackle the queer the odd man out that’s why it was called smear the queer only meaning queer is odd person out….
The other game I think you’re talking about was called “Ding Dong Ditch.”