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Why Does Scott Baio Keep Showing Up In My Dreams?

January 12, 2018

How could you NOT want him to show up in your dreams?

I had a dream with Scott Baio in it last night.  It wasn’t “that” kind of dream, if you know what I mean.  I wouldn’t even call it a Scott Baio dream because I don’t remember enough to say how much Scott Baio was in it.  All I can tell you is that somebody in the dream said something funny to Scott Baio, and I woke up laughing.

I don’t know if it was a joke or an insult, but whatever it was, it was pretty funny because my wife said I laughed out loud in my sleep, and I rarely laugh out loud, even when I’m awake.

This isn’t the first time I’ve had a Scott Baio dream.  Scott Baio first appeared in one of my dreams in 1991 or 1992.  Maybe “appeared” isn’t the right word.  He was mentioned.  I clearly remember a friend of mine named Kirk in my dream saying “I always thought Scott Baio was underrated.”

That’s when I woke up, perplexed.  Why was my friend Kirk talking about Scott Baio?  Kirk was real, and I knew Kirk pretty well, and he’d never mentioned Scott Baio before.  The next time I saw Kirk, I asked him if he thought Scott Baio was underrated.  He sneered at me and said, “Scott Baio, that m***********?”

A few years later, Scott Baio invited me to a party, and I bragged to my friends that I was going to Scott Baio’s party, but I woke up before I got there.  That kind of sucked because I bet Scott Baio could throw a wild party.

A few years after that, I was cohosting a variety show with Scott Baio, and I made it on onstage and delivered my first lines without dry heaving.  Our first guest was some guy named Johnny Chode, and when I introduced him, the audience roared.  Maybe it was my delivery that got the positive reaction.

That was actually a pretty good dream.  I was a little disappointed when I woke up.  It felt good to speak in front of a large audience without dry heaving.  Thank you for that, Scott Baio.

A couple summers ago, I saw Scott Baio giving a speech at the Republican National Convention.  I turned to my wife and asked, “Am I in the middle of a Scott Baio dream?”

She said something with the word nightmare, and I went into the other room.  I don’t like political conventions, even if my buddy Scott Baio is speaking.

I don’t know why Scott Baio keeps turning up in my dreams.  I stopped watching Happy Days before he became a regular.  I never watched Joanie Loves Chachi.  The kids in Charles in Charge were annoying.  I have no connection to him that I know of.

I could understand if other famous people were in my dreams.  I’m surprised Stan Lee has never shown up.  I’ve read so many comic books that Stan Lee owes me a moment or two.  Tom Hanks, Homer Simpson, the sax player from Madness, I could understand if they showed up in my dreams from time to time.  But Scott Baio?

I believe that dreams can have meaning, but I’m not the kind of guy who can figure it out.  I can barely decipher basic poetry.  When I read “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost, I just say “Get a map.”  My wife has a theory about my Scott Baio dream, but I don’t believe I’m repressing anything.  I don’t deny that I repress stuff, but not that.  I don’t have any problem with what my wife claims I’m repressing, so I wouldn’t repress it.

This might end up being one of the great mysteries of my life.  I’m pretty sure I’ll never meet Scott Baio, and even if I did, he wouldn’t know why he’s in my dream.  Maybe I’m in Scott Baio’s dreams, and he doesn’t know who I am.  He might wake up once every few years wondering who that awkward quiet guy is, but I doubt it.  He doesn’t care who I am.   He’s probably just mad that he woke up before he could interview Johnny Chode.


What do you think?  Am I the only one who has random Scott Baio dreams?  If not, who is your version of Scott Baio?

From → Pop culture

  1. Never had Scott Baio dreams, however, have had Bob Dole and Pope Francis dreams.

  2. It’s interesting and kind of hilarious that in your dreams, it’s not you but someone else saying something funny to Scott Baio. Or not you but someone else suggesting Scott Baio is underrated.

  3. It’s all in the song lyrics. “Charles in Charge / Of our days and our nights.” See? He’s in charge of your nights. Case closed.

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