The writing lesson from William Goldman The Princess Bride is pretty simple. When it comes to fiction, just write the “good parts.”
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I don’t remember when I read both Marathon Man and The Princess Bride by William Goldman. It was probably in the middle of the 1980s. I remember at the time being impressed that Goldman could write two completely different books that were pretty good in their own ways.
Most authors have one genre and beat the crap out of that one genre, and I don’t blame them, especially if their primary goal is to make a lot of money. Some authors write the same book over and over until readers get tired of it.
But that’s not my point.
When I first saw this map in the first few pages of The Princess Bride, I focused on the geographical details so that the story would make more sense to me as I read it. Now that I’m older and don’t care as much about world-building, I pay more attention to the upper right corner.
And that’s where the “good parts” comes from.
At the beginning of The Princess Bride, author William Goldman explains how he tried to have his son read the “original” version of The Princess Bride (the S. Morgenstein version that only the purists can get through), but it was too long, too detailed, and too convoluted for his son to follow. To make this fairy tale more readable for the average person, Goldman then rewrote it, just leaving in the “good parts.”
William Goldman is on to something here. If George R.R. Martin had only written the good parts, he probably would have finished his A Song of Ice and Fire series in 2010.
And have you tried reading the S. Morgenstein version of The Princess Bride? My god, when I finally found my own copy, I made the mistake of trying to read it. It was almost as tough to get through as Finnegans Wake, and it was ten times longer. It’s a good thing that Goldman rewrote it because there’s no way that Hollywood would make a movie out of the S. Morgenstein version of The Princess Bride.
An S. Morgenstein movie version of The Princess Bride? Inconceivable!
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And you know what else is “Inconceivable!”?
After ten years of writing and revising, I’m finally done with The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy, and it’s available for pre-order (release date February 10) at The Sunset Rises-Amazon Page ! Plus, a sample is here at The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy (sample chapter) .
Saturday, February 10.
Unless something disastrous happens, I am going to release/publish my one novel, The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy on February 10th.
The publication date has nothing to do with Valentine’s Day. It’s just that I have some plans for March and April, and I want my book stuff done by then. Besides, I’ve been working on The Sunset Rises for long enough.
Now that I know what it takes to put a book together, I might want to write another one. I put a lot of effort into the self-publishing process; it would almost be a waste to do this only once. I know I’m not a novelist, though, so I’d have to think of something else to write. I wouldn’t be in a hurry. I have several non-writing projects that I’m working on, so I’ll be busy whether I’m writing or not.
In the meantime, the Amazon page for The Sunset Rises is here at The Sunset Rises-Amazon Page.
You can also read a sample chapter here at The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy (sample chapter) .
There’s not much new to say about the novel Dune by Frank Herbert, but having nothing new to say never stops anybody, so here we go.
Since Dune was published in 1965, the year that I was born, I didn’t read it right away when it came out. I tried reading Dune right away, but it was a little above my age level. When the first movie was released in 1984, every science fiction nerd was excited about it because all of them had read the book (or had claimed to), and sci-fi nerds were usually still optimistic about science fiction movies because of the success of the Star Wars trilogy (at the time).
Most fans, however, were disappointed in Dune the movie. In fact, the popular opinion was that it outright sucked. It wasn’t like Star Wars: The Phantom Menace over a decade later where fans initially liked it (or maybe they felt like they had to like it) but then slowly realized it wasn’t that good. Almost everybody I knew didn’t like Dune at its release. I almost felt sorry for it.
It made me, however, feel vindicated for not finishing the book when it was published in 1965. The 1984 movie also kept me from trying to read the book again.
Dune? Why would I want to read Dune? The movie sucked.
Looking back, the movie had little/nothing to do with me not reading the book. I was in my first year of college, and I was temporarily through with my science fiction phase of reading.
A few months ago, I watched the first 30 minutes of the most recent Dune movie (part 1) and didn’t fully understand what was going on, so I found a cheap used paperback copy (image at the top of the blog post), and after reading it, I’m confident that if I ever get around to watching the Dune movies again, I’ll fully understand what’s going on.
DUNE BOOK REVIEW
It’s pretty good. I finished it. I lost interest in the chapters that focused on the main character Paul in the second half of the book, but all of the other characters were interesting. I won’t read the other books, though. It’s kind of weird when the main character of a book is the least interesting (but that’s probably just me). That’s a possible blog topic in itself, books where the protagonist is the least interesting character.
Even though some parts of Dune bored me, other parts were great! To me, if a book has a bunch of great scenes connected by scenes that are a little dull (just my opinion), then that’s at least a pretty good book.
Dune ends abruptly, however. When I finished reading Dune, I thought for sure that somebody had ripped the last few pages out of my used copy, but no… that’s how Dune ended. The ending wasn’t bad. It was just
I’m finally done writing The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy. That’s my update.
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ADDITIONAL UPDATE
I’m still not sure when I’m going to publish/release The Sunset Rises. I’m waiting on one more person to beta-read it before I send it to a proofreader/copyeditor.
Hey, last beta-reader: “Hurry up and finish reading The Sunset Rises so that I can move on to the next phase! But take your time. But hurry up! But take your time. But hurry up!”
PERSONAL NOTES
I’m surprised by the lack of urgency that I’m feeling. Months ago, I thought that when I reached this point, I’d be eager to get everything done as soon as possible. I thought I’d be excited. Instead, I’m just ambling along step-by-step. There are a couple reasons for this, but I’m not going to get into them.
This might be the last update about The Sunset Rises that I post before I publish the book. I’m not one of those bloggers that’s going to do a day-by-day step-by-step update for my book. Details about self-publishing are kind of boring. I’m glad I went into teaching instead of publishing. At least I was never bored as a teacher. I was anxious all the time but never bored (except during standardized testing).
Just to be clear, I’m not bored with The Sunset Rises. I really like The Sunset Rises. It’s the self-publishing details that are boring.
I’ve learned from writing The Sunset Rises that I’m a decent writer, but I’m definitely not a novelist. This book took me ten years to write, and I’m not even sure how good it is. I’ll continue writing stuff, and I might even write more books, but I don’t think I have another novel in me.
I’m glad that my Kickstarter at the end of last year didn’t quite work out. If I’d been using other people’s money, I would have felt compelled to stick to my six-month deadline. Or I might have just run off with the contributions.
Because I’ve been taking my time, I’ve made some changes that I otherwise wouldn’t have thought of, and I’ve improved the book. I think it’s at least a decent book. The Sunset Rises might actually be pretty good. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t suck.
Some readers might end up thinking The Sunset Rises sucks, but I know it doesn’t suck. It’s at least decent. I don’t think I’m going to use that (The Sunset Rises doesn’t suck; it’s at least decent) in my promotion campaign.
If you haven’t already, you can read a sample chapter from The Sunset Rises from the link below. It’s at least decent!
I grew up in a time when the legends of Robin Hood were common knowledge.
I had access to the book The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood by Howard Pyle. I’ve read the Classics Illustrated version of Robin Hood. I’ve read the Marvel Classics Comics version of Robin Hood. I’ve seen the movie The Adventures of Robin Hood with Erroll Flynn. I’ve seen the movie Robin Hood:Prince of Thieves with Kevin Costner (Haha!) as Robin Hood.
I even remember a short-lived television show from the 1970s called When Things Were Rotten. The theme song still gets stuck in my head, even though I haven’t heard it for close to 50 years. I could probably hear it again if I wanted to, but I kind of like my version of it and I don’t want it to be ruined by the cheesy 1970s reality.
I guess my point is that there used to be a bunch of stuff about Robin Hood when I was growing up.
Despite my familiarity with Robin Hood, I’ve never seen the movie Robin Hood:Men in Tights by Mel Brooks. I’m not a fan of Mel Brooks movies. I think I’m the type of person who’s supposed to like Mel Brooks movies, but I just think they’re okay. I’d rather watch the original Frankenstein movie than watch Young Frankenstein. I’d rather watch (the original) Star Wars than watch Space Balls. I’d rather watch a real western than watch Blazing Saddles.
And I’d rather watch a real Robin Hood movie, even one starring Kevin Costner (Haha!) as Robin Hood than watch a Mel Brooks Robin Hood: Men in Tights movie.
I don’t want to say anything bad about Mel Brooks. If you say bad things about Mel Brooks, people get mad, and I’m not that kind of blogger. Still, I watched this scene from Robin Hood:Men in Tights, and I don’t think there’s anything special about it. It kind of feels like a high school skit.
As far as Robin Hood parodies go, Mad Magazine’s Don Martin in Sherwood Forest is far superior.
SPOILER ALERT!!!!
This version doesn’t necessarily have a happy ending.
Again, I don’t want to say anything bad about Mel Brooks, but Mel Brooks isn’t fit to sniff Don Martin’s… um… yeah, I guess that would be saying something bad about Mel Brooks. I don’t want to do that.
Mel Brooks is alright, I guess, but I prefer Don Martin’s style of humor. If you like high school skits about Robin Hood, watch Robin Hood: Men in Tights. If you like satirical masterpieces, then read Don Martin in Sherwood Forest.
When I’m reading The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett, I don’t picture Humphrey Bogart. I have a mental picture of my own 1930s gumshoe who fits for most noir mysteries, whether they’re written by Dashiell Hammett or Raymond Chandler.
I don’t ‘get’ Humphrey Bogart’s appeal, but I wasn’t alive when his movies came out. All I know is that my mom (and a bunch of other women of the time period) liked him. My mom (and a bunch of other women in the time period) also liked Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra too. I guess my mom liked drunk guys. It makes sense; she married a… aw, never mind.
This famous scene from The Maltese Falcon has always bugged me (but not because Humphrey Bogart is in it).
I’ve never tried to fight when I’ve had a cigarette in my mouth. Getting into a fight while I was smoking a cigarette seemed like a waste of a good cigarette.
Keep in mind, I’ve lost every fistfight I’ve ever been in. Looking back, maybe I should have tried tried fighting with a cigarette in my mouth.
Or maybe I should have been like Sam Spade (Humphrey Bogart) in this scene and have only fought guys much smaller than me.
I also have never tried disarming somebody while keeping the cigarette in my mouth. My philosophy has always been to draw my gun before the other guy. When you lose a few fistfights, you realize that pulling a gun first can keep you out of a fistfight. Yeah, you might have to shoot the other guy, but the other guy is usually a trouble maker, and the world is better off with one fewer troublemaker stirring things up.
The book version of this scene in the novel The Maltese Falcon makes a little more sense; there’s no mention of a dangling cigarette. Sam Spade waits until after he punches out the guy to light a cigarette.
Hollywood. Pffft
I’m too old to get into fistfights, but I’m still capable of delivering a good sucker punch if I need to. And nothing is better after a satisfactory sucker punch than a freshly lit cigarette.
I used to think of Stan Lee as the creator of Marvel Comics. I admit it. I fell for the cheesy mustache and the “Excelsior!” schtick. Then one day I was looking at a bunch of DC comic books that artist Jack Kirby had created in the 1970s after he’d left Marvel, and I asked myself, why did Stan Lee stop writing comic books after 1970?
Once I saw it, it was pretty simple.
Jack Kirby created a bunch of stuff without Stan Lee.
Stan Lee didn’t create anything without Jack Kirby .
Okay, that’s not quite true. Stan Lee created a few Marvel characters without Jack Kirby, but he always had the help of other artists (like Steve Ditko).
Once Jack Kirby and the other 1960s artists left Marvel Comics, Stan Lee stopped writing/editing and became more of a figure head. Yeah, I know that’s an oversimplification of the situation, but this is a short blog post.
To be fair, I think Stan Lee as a writer/editor made Jack Kirby (and the other artists) better than they otherwise were on their own. Those Stan Lee/Jack Kirby Fantastic Four comic books were some of the BEST COMIC BOOKS EVER; maybe “The World’s Greatest Comic Book Magazine” at the top of every Fantastic Four cover was as close to the truth as hyperbole can get. The Stan Lee/Steve Ditko Spider-Man and Dr. Strange stories were also groundbreaking and awesome.
Here’s a 1983 interview with Marvel character creator Jack Kirby, who describes his experience working with Stan Lee and Marvel Comics. I know that just because Jack Kirby says something doesn’t necessarily make it true, but I think his version of his contribution to Marvel Comics makes more sense than what was often portrayed by Stan Lee and Marvel Comics.
And to be honest, the only reason I put this blog post together was to post this interview. When I found this in a stack of old stuff, I thought “Holy crap!”
I’m glad that more people now seem to recognize how much Jack Kirby (and Steve Ditko) contributed in the creation of the Marvel universe now. The clues were always there, but corporate media brainwashing is strong.
I don’t miss much about the old days, but I kind of miss the Sunday funnies in the Sunday newspaper. I don’t miss the Sunday funnies enough to actually buy a Sunday newspaper though. The internet has everything a Sunday newspaper used to have… and more. With the internet, every day is Sunday.
Below is one of my sentimental favorites, Prince Valiant. The illustrations by Hal Foster are almost too good for a common newspaper. By the time I was reading Sunday comic strips in the 1970s, some other guy was filling in for Hal Foster, but this early strip from before I was born is a good example of an early Prince Valiant.
Even though I have some collections of old comic strips, the collections don’t replace the mild excitement seeing a variety of comic strips every Sunday. Below is Peanuts. Every newspaper had Peanuts. I don’t think I have ever been in a city with a daily newspaper (with a page for syndicated comic trips) that didn’t have Peanuts.
Going to unfamiliar cities was fun because each city newspaper would carry a comic strip that I hadn’t seen before. My hometown newspaper was late to start carrying The Far Side. It was kind of frustrating to be aware of a cool comic strip that your hometown paper didn’t carry. The internet hadn’t been born yet, so if your newspaper didn’t carry a comic, you didn’t see it until the collections came out in the book stores months/years later.
Family Circus was never my favorite comic strip, but I respected its creator. He was willing to kill off his characters. I mean, he had stuff like grandparents dying of old age because that’s what happens in real life. I don’t mean he drew shock value stuff. I’m not posting a death comic strip(and the snowman in the Peanuts strip above doesn’t count).
Doonesbury could be controversial sometimes, so much so that some newspapers would refuse to run certain Doonesbury strips, depending on the topic. Haha… comic strip controversies. I don’t think the particular strip below was controversial. You can’t be controversial every day/week.
I rarely saw Beetle Bailey as a kid. I was aware of Beetle Bailey, but rarely did I see this strip in a newspaper. Military comedy isn’t my thing. I never watched Hogan’s Heroes either. Stripes was a good movie, though.
Calvin and Hobbes just came out of nowhere and got huge, and then the creator Sam Watterson just quit. Sam Watterson… what a slacker.
You can call me a slacker too. I put up only seven comic strips when a Sunday paper would have way more than seven.
So, whatever happened with that truce that Prince Valiant’s father made with the Britons? I guess you’ll have to wait until next Sunday to find out. Or you can use the internet to look it up. With the internet, every day is Sunday.
Top Gun: Maverick is one of the dumbest movies that I’ve watched in a long time. I mean, I sat through it and kind of liked it (I don’t sit through movies that I don’t like), so I’m not complaining. But it was pretty dumb.
Especially dumb was the opening sequence when the Tom Cruise character (whatever his name is) breaks Mach 10 and then destroys his aircraft by trying to push things one step (or three steps) too far. Yeah, it reveals an important character trait, but it’s a bit far fetched.
The following scene from the movie The Right Stuff where Chuck Yeager (at least I remember his name) breaks Mach 1. Supposedly this is more accurate than the scene in Top Gun. I wouldn’t know. I wasn’t alive back then (I was alive when The Right Stuff was released but not when Chuck Yeager broke Mach 1).
Here’s where author Tom Wolfe describes Chuck Yeager breaking the sound barrier in his book The Right Stuff.
I hope you like reading long block paragraphs.
In the movie, Chuck Yeager’s peers on the ground act like they think something bad has happened when they hear the BOOM. In the book, everybody knows what the BOOM means.
Typical Hollywood, thinking they have to make everything overly dramatic.
Hollywood. Pffft.
The Right Stuff is still a pretty good movie, though. That’s my review; it’s pretty good, and I like it.
The Right Stuff by Tom Wolfe is pretty good too, but the long block paragraphs gave me a headache. If you don’t like headache-inducing long block paragraphs, then watch the movie.
Robert E. Howard, creator of Conan the barbarian, didn’t give himself enough credit as a writer.
Yeah, he created Conan the Barbarian in the 1920s. Yeah, people still read his pulp stories almost 100 years after they were published. But Howard didn’t know that his stories were going to be republished after his death (which I won’t delve into here). And he also didn’t know Conan was going to become so popular decades later with comic books and movies based on his character.
In a letter to famous author H.P. Lovecraft in 1933, Robert E. Howard described how he thought of himself as a writer .
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“But I was the first writer of the post oak country; my work’s lack of merit cannot erase that fact. By first, I do not, of course, mean in point of excellence, God knows; I mean in point of time. There are some real writers growing up in this country now, whose work will be read and applauded long after my junk has passed to the oblivion it will earn.”
*****
If you want to read the entire letter, here it is.
I can understand where Robert E. Howard was coming from. He was writing for pulp magazines. The magazines were made out of cheap newsprint and would fall apart within months if not handled carefully. Howard was reasonable in his expectation that his stories would pass into oblivion; the pulp paper would disintegrate, and his stories would fade away both literally and figuratively.
When critics complain about Howard’s sometimes sloppy prose, they aren’t considering (or don’t care) that he was writing for pulps, not for literary magazines. Compared to most pulp content, Robert E. Howard’s stories were literary fiction.
Some readers credit Robert E. Howard with creating the genre (or sub genre) of sword and sorcery. I don’t know if he ‘created’ it, and I don’t really care. All I know is that if somebody reads the stories you wrote a hundred years after you wrote them, then your stories probably aren’t junk.
But I guess there wasn’t any way for Robert E. Howard to have known that… unless he had decided to live longer… but I don’t want to delve into that here.
Dysfunctional Literacy 