When I began reading Murderers’ Row by Donald Hamilton, I wasn’t expecting the highest quality espionage literature of the 1960s. In fact, I was pretty sure that I was in for some low quality writing. But I wasn’t expecting a rape joke.
And I wasn’t expecting a rape joke directed at a female character.
And I wasn’t expecting the female character to like the rape joke.
Of course, I should have known better. Murderers’ Row came out in 1962. I’ve read (and written about)several books from that time period and some of the… questionable stuff… that happened. Here are a couple examples:
Bad Lessons in Famous Books: The Carpetbaggers by Harold Robbins
The Golden Hawk by Frank Yerby- Uh,… isn’t that rape?
Now we have Murderers’ Row starring Matt Helm. Matt Helm was the cheap American knock off of James Bond in the early 1960s. Matt Helm books were quick, action-packed, and didn’t bother with stuff like descriptions of exotic cars, exotic places, and exotic women. The best part about Matt Helm books, though, is that he doesn’t play cards. I don’t know how many James Bond novels I stopped reading because I got tired of reading multiple pages of card game ‘action’ sequences.
The plot in this Matt Helm book Murderers Row isn’t really worth describing (and it would probably make the book worse if I tried). In the scene posted below, Helm has been captured by the femme fatale who had slipped a mickey into Helm’s drink. That by itself shows what a lousy spy Matt Helm is: he fell for the mickey in his drink. I’m the most gullible guy around, and even I know not to accept a drink from the femme fatale. I don’t even try to slip a mickey into the femme fatale’s drink because I know she’s slick enough to switch drinks on me when she displays her… aw, never mind.
Let’s just say I never would have made a good spy.
Anyway, in this scene Helm is stuck with a damsel in distress and trying to figure a way out:
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“I-I’ll always be grateful. If- if we get out of this, I’ll show you how grateful I am,” she murmured, clinging to my arm.
“Cut it out,” I said. “Don’t strain my self-control. I might get ideas and rape you right now.”
That brought a startled little giggle from her. After a moment, she said, “Well, go ahead. There isn’t much else to do in this dismal box of a cabin…”
*****
And just in case you don’t believe me…
I wasn’t alive yet in 1962. Maybe the word ‘rape’ had a playful connotation to it that I don’t know about. Words sometimes change meaning over time, and maybe ‘rape’ is one of those words. I admit, I have astonishing gaps in my knowledge, and this could be one of those examples. I could be the only book blogger who doesn’t know that ‘rape’ once had a playful connotation to it. But I don’t think that’s the case.
People my age often gripe about how ‘soft’ younger generations are and how younger folk are too sensitive and are too easily offended. I kind of agree with that sentiment sometimes, but then I’ll read an excerpt from an old book or see a scene from a decades old movie, and I’ll think, “Yeah, that kind of attitude maybe needed to go.”
*****
My own book might have a couple insensitive moments, but there aren’t any rape jokes.
*****
A grammar-obsessed English teacher falls in ‘luuuvvv’ but discovers how chaotic and dangerous ‘luuuvvv’ can be.
The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy
Get a signed copy of my one and only novel, The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy. My handwriting is actually legible, but I’m left-handed, so I might smudge my signature sometimes. Free delivery in the United States!
$20.00
Or you can buy a copy here on Amazon!
Not sure? Read a sample chapter of The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy.
When my older brother was 20, he drew a four-panel comic strip for our local weekly newspaper. He’s always downplayed it, but I thought it was pretty cool. For years, he thought he had lost the originals to his comic strip, but he recently found them buried in a stack of boxes in his garage. I think I was more thankful than he was; I’ve been wanting to read these again for decades.
Here’s Week 2 of “Calloway the Castaway,” the long lost comic strip from 1979!
For more, go to The Lost Adventures of “Calloway the Castaway” Episode 1!
And come back next week for The Lost Adventures of “Calloway the Castaway” Episode 3.
Months ago when I self-published my only novel The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy, I wasn’t confident that it was any good. I was even hesitant to talk to people that I know about my novel because I wasn’t feeling secure about the book and I didn’t want friends or acquaintances to feel like they were being cornered into reading a book they weren’t interested in.
My writing goal over the last 15 years has been to write just one book that didn’t suck. I don’t even care about sales that much. I don’t care about book review ratings that much. I just wanted to write a book that would be entertaining to some people (if not entertaining for everybody).
Here was my issue: if book sales and review ratings didn’t matter much to me, then how would I know whether or not The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy was any good?
I kept it simple. I decided ahead of time that I would judge the quality of my book on whether or not anybody finished reading it without me putting pressure on them. If people actually finish reading The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy on their own, then I know it can’t be that bad.
Unfortunately, I can’t go around and ask people who have my book if they finished it. I don’t have that kind of personality. But over the last couple months, several friends, co-workers, and a few people whom I don’t even know have contacted or talked to me about my book without me asking.
I’ve received enough positive feedback (and a little criticism) from people who didn’t have to give me feedback at all, and I can tell from these conversations that they’ve actually finished the book. They’ve asked me questions (How much of the book is based on truth? How did I come up with some of the twists?). They’ve made comments about certain scenes throughout the book, especially the ending.
The only real negative feedback that I’ve received is from people who have read only the sample chapter (which makes sense… and I’m not faulting the people who’ve given me somewhat negative feedback).
If The Sunset Rises: A 1990 Romantic Comedy sucked, more of the feedback would be negative… or there wouldn’t have been any feedback at all.
I’ll admit, the numbers of sales and conversations/responses are small, but that’s okay because I have the rest of my life to work on that if I choose to do so. I’ve made more sales from ‘the trunk of my car’ than I have on Amazon. Also, men seem to like the book much more than women do, and I have a pretty good understanding why now (but that’s for another blog post). I’ve received enough feedback now for me to feel more confident in my one novel.
I know my book has flaws, but every book has flaws, even those written by James Patterson.
I know my book has outright mistakes (Aaaaarrrrgh!).
I know that some readers will not (or don’t) like my book.
But I’m pretty confident now that my book doesn’t suck.
*****
For more about The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy:
Why Did I Write A Romantic Comedy When I Don’t Read or Watch Romantic Comedies?
Aaarrrgh! I Found Mistakes in My Recently Published Book!
The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy is on sale now!
The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy (sample chapter)
*****
A grammar-obsessed English teacher falls in ‘luuuvvv’ but discovers how chaotic and dangerous ‘luuuvvv’ can be.
The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy
Get a signed copy of my one and only novel, The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy. My handwriting is actually legible, but I’m left-handed, so I might smudge my signature sometimes. Free delivery in the United States!
$10.00
Or you can buy a copy here on Amazon!
For years my older brother thought he had lost the original drawings of his comic strip “Calloway the Castaway.”
My brother was 20 years old in 1979 when he got hired to do a weekly four-panel comic strip for the town newspaper. He did the strip for about a year just for the fun of it until he moved away for better opportunities . Between all the moves and boxes over the next decades, he thought he had lost all the strips.
A few weeks ago, he was going through stuff in his garage (he uses his garage for storage instead of parking), and he found the originals. They’re kind of messed up, with stains and folds, but they’re still readable.
My brother is in his mid-60s now, and when he reads these, all he sees are flaws. He’s too hard on himself. I’ve read a bunch of comic strips from the 1970s and 1980s. I think these are pretty good. But I’m biased.
Every Sunday, I plan on running a weekly comic strip of his until I run out of episodes (or until he loses these again). I hope everybody likes them as much as I do/did.
CALLOWAY THE CASTAWAY: EPISODE 1
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Be ready for Calloway the Castaway merchandise… on sale soon!
And come back next week for The Lost Adventures of “Calloway the Castaway” Episode 2.
A literary glance to me is usually the first 5-10 pages of a book. I start a lot of books just to get a feel for them, and I think making a judgement after 5-10 pages is somewhat fair.
Right now I’m on page 268 of The First Man in Rome by Colleen McCullough. Normally, that’s way more than a ‘glance,’ but that 268 pages is less than 30% of the book and less than 5% of the total number of pages in the series. It’s still more than a ‘glance,’ but at least you know where I’m coming from. I’m not very far into the series, but I have a good idea of whether or not I’ll like the book (and series).
I’m not going to summarize The First Man in Rome because you can get that anywhere. I will say, though, that it’s not as much of a slog as I thought it would be. The opening scene is a little dull, and the similarity of names confused me a little at first. Even with so many characters, the scenes with each individual character are long enough so that I can keep track of the stories easily, even with the long similar names.
I’m not saying that I’ll finish The First Man in Rome, but I might. I just might.
The best part of reading a 900+ page epic novel is that you get your money’s worth, especially if you bought the book cheap at a used book store. The worst part of reading an epic 900+ page book, though, is that it keeps you from reading a bunch of other much shorter novels that might be just as good (or better) in their own ways. But that’s for another blog post.
*****
What do YOU think? Is The First Man in Rome worth reading? Are novels like this common today? What other 900+ page epics are worth reading?
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Here are more Dysfunctional Book Reviews!
Literary Glance: Dune by Frank Herbert
Julius Caesar Was a Swell Guy (according to War Commentaries of Caesar by Julius Caesar)
Literary Gimmicks in Famous Books: No Country For Old Men by Cormac McCarthy
Literary Glance: The Corrections by Johnathan Franzen
Literary Glance: It by Stephen King
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A grammar-obsessed English teacher falls in ‘luuuvvv’ but discovers how chaotic and dangerous ‘luuuvvv’ can be.
The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy
Get a signed copy of my one and only novel, The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy. My handwriting is actually legible, but I’m left-handed, so I might smudge my signature sometimes. Free delivery in the United States!
$20.00
Or you can buy a copy here on Amazon!
Not sure? Read a sample chapter of The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy.
People my age sometimes reminisce about the ‘good old days,’ but a lot of bad stuff was going on back then that I’m glad has changed.
- Almost everybody smoked cigarettes in public.
- Nobody wore seat belts.
- Parents beat their kids in public, and everybody just stood and watched.
Despite a lot of weird social stuff going on right now (that’s for a different blog post/series), I’m glad that some of the technological and culture shifts have happened. In fact, some of the stuff that I lived through now seems kind of weird and it’s difficult to describe as normal.
Over the years, I’ve written several blog posts about things during my time (or even before) that are difficult to explain or rationalize to younger generations. Don’t get me wrong. I try to stay away from young people as much as possible (I think the feeling’s mutual). But if I DID ever try to explain some of the ‘old’ stuff to younger folk, it might be somewhat difficult to do.
Below are some of my blog posts from my “Old Things That Are Tough to Explain” series. Even some of the positive things from the ‘good old days’ are tough to explain:
Old Things That Are Tough To Explain: You Could Only Take One Picture
Old Things That Are Tough To Explain: People Used To Write Long Letters to Each Other
Old Things That Are Tough To Explain: Giving Two-Weeks Notice at Work
Old Things That Are Tough To Explain: Playing A Game Called “Smear The Queer.”
Old Things That Are Tough To Explain: The Divisive 1960s
Old Things That Are Tough To Explain: The Ugly 1970s
Old Things That Are Tough To Explain: Stores Were Closed All Day On Major Holidays
Old Things That Are Tough To Explain: Profanity in Public Was Rare
Old Things That Are Tough To Explain: You Weren’t Supposed to Read in Public
Old Things that Are Tough To Explain: Donald Trump Was a Pop Culture Icon
Old Things That Are Tough To Explain: Research Before The Internet
Old Things That Are Tough To Explain: You Could Only Watch It Once
Old Things That Are Tough To Explain: The Sunday Newspaper
Old Things That Are Tough To Explain: Racist Jokes
Old Things That Are Tough To Explain: Why Did So Many People Smoke Cigarettes?
One day I’ll write “Old Things that Are Tough to Explain: People Used to Write Blog Posts.”
*****
A grammar-obsessed English teacher falls in ‘luuuvvv’ but discovers how chaotic and dangerous ‘luuuvvv’ can be.
The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy
Get a signed copy of my one and only novel, The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy. My handwriting is actually legible, but I’m left-handed, so I might smudge my signature sometimes. Free delivery in the United States!
$20.00
Or you can buy a copy here on Amazon!
Not sure? Read a sample chapter of The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy.
With all the bad stuff going on in the world, it’s easy to get immersed in the negative, and I have to admit, I’ve watched my share of doom and gloom videos on certain video platforms that seem to promote negativity in the algorithm. Economic collapse videos, imminent global war videos, civil unrest videos, societal decay videos, I’ve watched them all.
I don’t watch only gloom and doom videos. I also watch sports analysis, health, history, and movie clip videos. And I listen to lots of music that isn’t doom and gloom. And of course, I read lots of books.
Even so, I’m a sucker for a good doom and gloom video. It’s a little jarring, though, when a doom and gloomer stops the presentation and asks the viewer to like and subscribe to his channel in order to cater to the algorithm. Doom and gloomers are supposed to despise the algorithm, yet here they are, asking viewers to manipulate it.
Even worse is when the doom and gloomers sell merchandise with their doom and gloom logos. It makes me believe that the doom and gloomer is insincere. Most of those doom and gloom t-shirts and hats and mugs are very impractical during a global apocalypse. But they help fund the channel and keep the doom and gloomer from getting a real job.
I’m sure most doom and gloom content creators don’t believe everything they say. If I were a sincere doom and gloomer, I wouldn’t want to make money as a content creator. Content creator would be the worst skill to have during a global collapse. When the world is falling apart, you need people who can fix things, grow food, protect the food, and protect the women and children. At the very least, you need people with lots of guns. And water. And food. And land. And fences.
You don’t need a content creator.
A content creator can survive only in a civilized society that puts up with indolent behavior. Plus, it’s kind of arrogant to think that you should be able to make a living by creating content during a global collapse.
I think to some people, the world has always been doom and gloom. When I was growing up, the doom and gloomers were called chicken littles or just crazy. The sky was always falling. The world was always ending.
Don’t get me wrong. There’s always bad stuff going on. The fear mongers have a point.
I remember the ‘misery index’ and ‘national malaise’ of the late 1970s. I remember gas lines, the Vietnam War, the threat of nuclear war, and the impending destruction of the Ozone Layer (I’m glad we fixed that one… supposedly). I also remember that the Amazon Rain Forest was supposed to be gone by now, and the world was going to run out of oil by 2000… or was it 2010?
Before I was born, there was a history of misery and disasters and genocides that I don’t want any part of. I’m kind of glad that I wasn’t around for most time periods. At least, as far as I know, I wasn’t around (unless reincarnation is really a thing and I don’t remember my past lives). Most time periods and places kind of suck (if you believe history), yet humanity has still survived and progressed (maybe… depending on how you look at it). We’re still here.
Things might not be alright at this moment. Things might go really bad. They probably will (or have already gone) bad for a lot of people. But to all the doom and gloom content creators who are trying to get me to like and subscribe and buy their merchandise, I have just one thing to say:
Buy my book first.
*****
A grammar-obsessed English teacher falls in ‘luuuvvv’ but discovers how chaotic and dangerous ‘luuuvvv’ can be.
The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy
Get a signed copy of my one and only novel, The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy! My handwriting is actually legible too. Postage included in the United States.
$20.00
Or you can buy a copy here on Amazon!
Not sure? Read a sample chapter of The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy.
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I think I did a double take when I saw that a new Brick & Mortar Bookseller is opening in a plaza about a five minute drive from where I live. I don’t remember what store used to be in the vacant space. Currently, there’s a grocery store on one end of the plaza and a pet store on the other with a pharmacy, an urgent care place, and several shops that I don’t remember in between.
A few years ago, B&M Booksellers shut down several locations in my area (one of them was kind of a cool store). I’m more into used books (especially stuff published before 1970), so I’m more concerned about the disappearing used book stores, but I’m still glad that B&M Booksellers might be making a comeback.
Here’s an article from Publisher’s Weekly that suggests maybe book sales are on the upswing, but there are mixed signals. Of course, there are always mixed signals. If there weren’t mixed signals, decision making would be easy.
B&M Booksellers is usually too expensive for me (I’m a cheapskate), and it’s a chain, but I like having a bookstore nearby, so I might have to buy the occasional expensive book just to support a (chain) bookstore.
Back in the 1990s, B&M Booksellers was seen as the villain by some bibliophiles because its dominant presence was shutting down smaller bookstores. Now some book readers have more sympathy for B&M as it’s trying to survive Amazon’s onslaught.
I’m actually kind of fortunate. I have a decent used bookstore less than five minutes away from one of my current jobs, and now I’ll have a B&M Bookseller five minutes away from my home.
I’d rather have a used bookstore 5 minutes away from me, but I’m not going to complain about B&M Booksellers. At least, not until I see the prices of the books I want to buy.
*****
A grammar-obsessed English teacher falls in ‘luuuvvv’ but discovers how chaotic and dangerous ‘luuuvvv’ can be.
The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy
Get a signed copy of my one and only novel, The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy! My handwriting is actually legible too. Postage included in the United States.
$20.00
Or you can buy a copy here on Amazon!
Not sure? Read a sample chapter of The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy.
I’ve gotten a little feedback about my novel The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy.
THE SHORT VERSION-
Male feedback: Men seem to read it quickly (usually within a week) and have made positive comments without me initiating any conversations.
Female feedback: Almost nothing.
THE LONG VERSION-
A few months ago I self-published my one and only novel The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy, and the sales were pretty much what I thought they would be. A few people have bought physical copies on Amazon. A few people have bought the Kindle version. I can’t tell how many people have read The Sunset Rises on Kindle Unlimited, but it looks like either a few people read the whole thing or a bunch of people started it and quit (or it’s something in between).
More people have bought the book from me from the trunk of my car. All ‘the trunk of my car’ means is that I keep a few books in my car so that when an extrovert friend talks about my book, I have a copy to sell/give away (I’ll explain more in another blog post). That’s where I’ve gotten most of my feedback.
Several men have finished the book, and they finished it quickly. I can tell because they talk to me (or my extrovert friend) about what happened in the book, including what happened at the end. They were surprised by a couple turns. They mentioned some stuff they liked about the ending. The feedback has been positive, and I can tell they’ve read the book.
Women, on the other hand, have told me and my extrovert friend almost nothing. I don’t know what ‘almost nothing’ as feedback means. It might mean that female readers don’t like the book but don’t want to tell me. It might mean that they haven’t read the book yet. It might mean that they just haven’t told me their reactions yet.
I know, I know: it’s not really my business what anybody thinks of my novel. I’m just noticing a pattern. It might not mean anything. And the sample size might be too small for me to make any conclusions.
Anyway, some authors say it’s counterproductive to think too much about feedback, but I think I’m allowed to be interested in the responses to my writing and that it’s okay to have questions about it (or the lack of it), especially on my own blog.
On the other hand, I’m notorious for not finishing books that I start reading, so I don’t expect anybody who’s not into my book to finish reading it. That leaves me torn. It’s none of my business, but I’m still wondering:
Why do men seem to like The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy than women do?
****
A grammar-obsessed English teacher falls in ‘luuuvvv’ but discovers how chaotic and dangerous ‘luuuvvv’ can be.
The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy
Get a signed copy of my one and only novel, The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy! My handwriting is actually legible too. Postage included in the United States.
$20.00
Or you can buy a copy here on Amazon!
Not sure? Read a sample chapter of The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy.
There are a bunch of books that I’d theoretically like to read, but I just don’t have the time. I’m 58 years old, and this might sound morbid, but I don’t know how much time I have left. I could have another 30 years of reading. Or I could have five minutes. I don’t know. I might not want to know ahead of time either (but that’s for another blog post).
It’s a little risky writing about books that I know I’ll never read when I have my own book The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy that most people don’t have the time (or money or inclination) to read. Even so, I must continue.
5 BOOKS THAT I MIGHT NEVER HAVE TIME TO READ
- Texas by James Michener
I’d like to read Texas by James Michener because I live in Texas. James Michener has written a lot of books, and they’re supposed to be great, but most of them are really, really long. For such long books, they have simple titles.
Texas.
Hawaii.
Chesapeake.
Alaska.
Poland.
Space.
The Novel
There are too many James Michener books for me to read all of them, but if I get to any of them, it will probably be Texas. But I’ll probably never get to it.
2. The Man in Rome series by Colleen McCullough
Here is another book that is around 1,000 pages long. I don’t mind 1,000 page books because if it’s good, you really get your money’s worth, but in this case The First Man in Rome is the first book in a six(?) book series of other 1,000 page books. Even if I finish The First Man in Rome, I have five more books to read. It’s almost like reading A Game of Thrones, except The First Man in Rome books are already done and I don’t think the author ever resented her fans. I’m not sure I can commit to six 1,000 page books, though.
I think I’ll just watch Rome again.
3. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
I’d like to read War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. Even better, I’d like to be able to say with pride that I’ve read War and Peace. But it’s not going to happen. I’ve tried. I can’t keep up with the Russian names. The Russian names give me a headache. I could never live in Russia. It wouldn’t be the cold or the rampant alcoholism or the tyrannical government that would bother me. It would be the long Russian names. Plus, I don’t speak Russian. And I probably don’t have time to learn it.
4. Noble House by James Clavell
I started reading Noble House in my junior year in high school but had to stop because my English teacher assigned us a bunch of novels to read. I said that I’d come back to Noble House later, but I never did. I think I got hooked on a bunch of Stephen King books at the end of my junior year. In eighth grade I had read Shogun by James Clavell (right before the television miniseries was broadcast), so all of my ill-read classmates were impressed with the size of the novel and that I had read it before the movie.
Yeah, reading Shogun improved my nerd status. Plus, it was a good book.
5. Any Stephen King book written after 1990
The good thing about Stephen King is that once you’ve read a few of his early books, you’ve read most of all of his books. That’s not an insult. Those three or four books he keeps writing are pretty good books. And now there are no Stephen King books that I want to read because I’ve already read a bunch of them.
Once every five years I pick up a new/recent Stephen King book and then after a few pages stop because I’ve read it before (but that’s not quite the same thing as not having time to read it).
BONUS!!!- Every James Patterson book.
I have no desire to read any individual James Patterson book. I’m sure that out of the hundreds of books his name is attached to, one or two of them have to be good. I just think it would be a great accomplishment to have read every single James Patterson book in existence. But that’s not going to be me.
I’m sure there are more books that I won’t have time to read. Basically, it’s every book in existence that I haven’t read by the time I… you know. But these are the first books that come to mind when I think of books that I’m pretty sure I’m never going to get to.
But enough about me! What books are you kind of interested in but know you won’t read?
*****
A grammar-obsessed English teacher falls in ‘luuuvvv’ but discovers how chaotic and dangerous ‘luuuvvv’ can be.
The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy
Get a signed copy of my one and only novel The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy. My handwriting is actually legible, but I’m left-handed, so I might smudge the signature. Free shipping in the United States!
$20.00
Or you can buy a copy here on Amazon!
Not sure? Read a sample chapter of The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy.
Dysfunctional Literacy 