Fond Memories Of The Goofs Who Ruined Christmas

December 23, 2025

Everybody who celebrates Christmas knows what I’m talking about. There’s always somebody in the family or friend group that “ruins” Christmas (or at least tries to). This can come in many behaviors, and I’ll get to some of them later. I have decades of Christmas memories, and most of them are good, but some of the memories that stand out the most are of those goofs who ruined Christmas with their antics.

The term “ruined” comes from a grandma of mine who said a younger relative of ours “ruined” Christmas with his horrible behavior (basic temper tantrums, rookie stuff compared to future behavior). I was ten at the time, and little did I know that there were plenty more ruined Christmases to come.

Sometimes I have sympathy for the people who ruin Christmas. Some of these goofs associate Christmas with bad childhood memories. Some get annoyed at the overwhelming atmosphere. Some can’t hear the same happy (or solemn… or outdated) song repeatedly. I understand all of that, but none of these circumstances justifies bad behavior.

Me? I enjoy the Christmas Season. I like spending time with family members whom I haven’t seen for a long time. I enjoy the anticipation of the upcoming events. I savor the time of reflection that comes with The Season, and I get a slight wave of nostalgia, even for those goofy relatives who have ruined past Christmases.

Credit goes to Don Martin (illustrator) and Frank Jacobs (writer) from a Mad Magazine in the late 1960s.

For these anecdotes of ruined Christmases, I’m going to refer to everybody as a ‘goof’ and use male pronouns for them even though some of the ‘goofs’ will be women. Yes, women are just as capable of ruining Christmas as men are, but sometimes they’ll cry and act like victims afterward, so you might accidentally blame a man for the woman’s infractions. To be fair, we men would pull the same trick if we could get away with it, but most of us can’t.

Most of the goofs I refer to today are no longer with us, but I still don’t want to name names or gender genders because I don’t want to incriminate/alienate any family members who are still around and might read this (but probably won’t). If they do read this, they’ll probably know whom I’m talking about but will still appreciate not being called out specifically. They’re aware of their social crimes. They probably are/were proud of their social crimes.

Decades ago, one goof would drink too much at Christmas. He would be fine during Christmas Eve because we would go to church during the late Christmas Eve service, and he knew it was bad to show up to church slurring his speech and smelling like a brewery. He would be fine, sometimes even jovial, on Christmas morning, but as Christmas Day wore on, he would become cranky and at some point he would throw an overreacting fit at something stupid (hearing the same Christmas song repeatedly, somebody else eating the last piece of pie, etc…)

Years later, after everybody had moved out and gone separate ways (we didn’t stick together like some families do), this goof admitted that he drank because he always felt like Christmas was a letdown after all the buildup. Looking back, I think he should have known better. He was old enough at that point in his life to know that almost everything is a letdown after all the hype. The key is not to build up the hype; then you can enjoy what you get (unless it really sucks… like somebody else getting the last piece of pie. In that case, it’s okay to feel let down. By the way, I’m sorry about that. It was good pie).

There was another Christmas where a goof (a family guest) ruined a Christmas Day by starting an argument over politics. Instead of rolling eyes or changing the subject, a second goof ( a family host) further ruined that Christmas Day by taking the bait. Neither backed down, both of them ranted and screamed at each other, and both of their moods were foul the rest of the day. They didn’t talk to each other afterward. They snapped at others not involved in the spat. Then the rest of us quietly mocked them when they were in other rooms.

To me, both of the Christmas combatants were wrong. When you’re a guest, you don’t bring up a contentious topic that you know the host will disagree with. If you do, you make your statement and move on. If you’re the host, you let the guest commit the social infraction and let it go. Luckily, everybody else stayed out of it, so escalation was only between two people. But the family had to suffer with the foul moods of the two goofy nutjobs (though I love both of these nutjobs… it was a bad moment for both). And we were right to mock them.

If I had to choose who was worse, it’s the goof who started it, but adults should figure out at a certain age… YOU DON’T TAKE THE BAIT!!! If you take the bait, you’re a goof too.

Another Christmas, some goof complained about the presents that he got. A bunch of us had taken some time and effort being creative (and even spent a fairly significant amount of money) coming up with a variety of gifts that we thought he’d appreciate. He acted like he liked them at first and then a couple hours later declared that it was weighing on his mind that he didn’t like his gifts at all and that it was important to us and to him that we should know. He said he felt like we hadn’t put any thought into it. And then he fumed.

Sometimes I’ve been puzzled by gifts I’ve received, but I never felt like others had to know about it. And it never “weighed on my mind.” I realized later that this goof was very unhappy about something else (of course), so this incident was a one-time deal. But yeesh, what a downer. And what a goof!

One year there was some national tragedy on Christmas Day (or Christmas Eve), so this goof in our family kept the tragedy on tv with the volume up for the entire day. At every top of the hour, he tried to shush us when the 24 hour news channel would lead with its BREAKING NEWS, and most of the time the BREAKING NEWS was the exact news from the previous hour or two. Eventually, we mocked the news network for obsessing (and capitalizing on) a tragedy. And then we mocked the goof for falling for it. Tragic stuff happens on holidays, and you can’t pretend that you know everybody in the world.

It struck us as weird because this goof usually doesn’t get that concerned when people that he knows dies. He didn’t like hearing that from us. Truth was our Christmas gift to him.

There are a lot of ways that goofs can try to ruin Christmas, but you don’t have to let them. You can ignore. You can banish. You can mock. Mockery is my favorite, except I couldn’t use that tactic when I was a kid (the retaliation would have ruined Christmas even more!). If you’re a goof who thinks he might ruin Christmas, maybe you shouldn’t stay at gatherings very long. If you have to stay for a long time, find good reasons to temporarily leave (run an errand, take a walk, etc…). Everybody appreciates the anti-Christmas goof who tries NOT to ruin the mood. If they don’t appreciate your efforts, that’s their fault, not yours.

Even though several previous Christmases have been ‘ruined’ by bad behavior, I smile whenever I think about them. Most of these goofs are kind of funny, except for the political argument (the two family members were unnecessarily distant with each other after that). And these incidents didn’t truly ruin Christmas (except for the political argument). They were usually blights on otherwise wonderful days (unless I’m repressing my true feeling and don’t know it). I miss these goofs. And I wouldn’t want them to be judged solely for their bad moments (just like I don’t want to be judged solely for mine).

To those of you current goofs who intend to ruin Christmas, I hope your antics are foiled, but I also hope you still find a way to unintentionally have a… MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! And maybe find a way to have a good new year too. I know it might be a challenge for you, but there’s always hope!