Dysfunctional Book Review: The Monopolists (with an absurdly long subtitle) by Mary Pilon

I can’t believe I just read a book about the board game Monopoly.

The book is called The Monopolists: Obsession, Fury, and the Scandal Behind the World’s Favorite Board Game by Mary Pilon, and yes, the subtitle is a little long and maybe obnoxious, but it’s only 11 words, and I’ve seen subtitles that are way worse than this, so I was able to overlook it.

I don’t even know why I pulled The Monopolists off the library shelf. I think I thought The Monopolists was a cool title, and the print for the subtitle was so small on the side of the book that I didn’t notice it until I had already started flipping through the book.  Once I noticed the subtitle, it was too late; I was already interested in the book.

Despite the subtitle, I actually finished reading The Monopolists. I didn’t get bored. When I had to stop reading for various reasons, I looked forward to reading it again. That’s my book review. 

As I mentioned earlier, I can’t believe I just read a book about Monopoly.  I’ve never been a fan of board games, and, to me, Monopoly was the worst.  It took too long, and all that money was fake.  I played Risk because it dealt with world conquest.  Conquer the world, and you can crush the monopolists and take their women (of course, I would have treated them respectfully).

Anyway, reading about Monopoly and the history of board games is more interesting than actually playing board games.  I never understood sitting around a table for hours playing a board game. I also never understood killing somebody over a game of cards. I could understand killing a guy if you were drunk and the other guy had cheated you out of a bunch of money by cheating at cards, but you solved that problem by not getting drunk and not playing cards in the first place.

But there was no internet back when people got drunk and killed each other over card games. And there was no cable television. Or television at all. Or radio. There were books, but most books back then were boring, so if you were lucky enough to have leisure time, then you might get bored pretty easily (unless you liked to go outside and write poetry).

Anyway, people played cards and board games because they didn’t have many other choices. And some people would rather get killed over a card game than be bored.

I understand that; I’d rather get killed over a card game than play Monopoly. Uuuuuhhh, maybe not, but I’d think about it for a moment.

Cheating at cards is bad, but the worst cheaters are those who cheat at Monopoly. I can understand cheating in a marriage (I’m kidding!) or cheating in an election. (I’m still kidding!) or cheating the IRS (I’m really, really kidding!!!) because they’re some positive rewards (supposedly… and I’m still kidding). But cheating at Monopoly has no real benefits (unless you’re the one who cheated at ‘creating’ Monopoly).

Plus, I’d feel pretty stupid if I killed a guy for cheating at Monopoly and then realized the money he had cheated me out of was fake after I sobered up. Yeah, the guy was cheating, but still… I’m not sure if even the state of Texas would let me get away with that.

Florida might let me get away with that, but I’m not sure it’s worth the risk.

*****

My ONE novel The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy has a subtitle with only four words in it.

You can read a sample chapter here at The Sunset Rises: A 1990s Romantic Comedy (sample chapter).

You can get a copy or an ebook version here on Amazon!

Or you can get a signed copy from me! I might even write a personal note and pretend that I know you!