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Kardashian Boyfriends Fake Fight for Reality Show

June 12, 2011

Kim Kardashian was holding a charity event (it had something to do with children) for an episode of her reality show.  Unfortunately, the event was going smoothly, too smoothly.  Everybody showed up on time.  Everybody did their jobs the way they were supposed to. 

The event was going to be a success in every way possible, except for her television show.  The event needed some manufactured conflict as a hook to get viewers, so Kim decided to invite all her current and former boyfriends to the event.  That ought to spark some interest, she thought. 

Once the charity event started, Kim tried everything to get the boyfriends to argue, to fight, to at least show an ounce of conflict that could be magnified for her television show.  She tweeted that there was a palpable (not her word) tension in the room and that she was sure they would all soon explode.  She told Reggie Bush that Miles Austin bragged that he had never had to give any trophies back.  She told Christiano Ronaldo that Reggie Bush said that soccer wasn’t really a sport.  She told Nick Lachey that Ray J. said Kim was too embarrassed of Nick to make a private video with him. 

None of this worked.  The current/former boyfriends hung out, mingled back and forth, relaxed, and everybody seemed to be having a good time. 

Kim rolled her eyes.  She knew that this charity event would be a ratings disaster for her show and that she had to do something.  Quickly, she whispered to each boyfriend that she needed some conflict for the show, so they needed to get up and at least pretend to fight. 

The boyfriends inwardly groaned, reluctantly got up, and half-heartedly pushed each other around.  A chair got knocked over.  A drink fell off a table.  Kim ran around shrieking, “Not in front of the children!  Not in front of the children!” but the smile never left her face.  The boyfriends got louder, but if you looked closely (or stopped the footage later), you could see they were still having a good time. 

Khloe Kardashian and her husband Lamar Odom arrived at the party just as the boisterous boyfriends were at their loudest, and Khloe couldn’t tell that the fighting wasn’t real. 

“Lamar, do something,” Khloe said.  “Get in there and break up that fight.” 

Lamar shook his head.  “The reason I married you is because I thought I wouldn’t have to deal with old boyfriends.”

****

Aaaargh!  This was probably one of my WORST POSTS EVER!!  It takes a special talent (or a really bad writer’s block day) to mess up a Kardashian joke. 

Writers, this is what happens when you don’t revise and edit before publishing.  I would take it down, but it serves as a reminder of what a rushed product looks like.  I think I redeemed myself with “Kim Kardashian Falls in Love” in the Jokes/Celebrity section.

From → Jokes/Generic

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