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Fifty Shades of Porn- a (kind of) Literature Joke

June 28, 2012

  

Oil on canvas

Why is it acceptable for a woman to read Fifty Shades of Grey in public but a man has to hide when he watches a video that covers the same… uh… theme? That’s an easy question to answer. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

WARNING!!  Whenever the words “porn” and ‘joke are put together (along with Fifty Shades of Grey), you know something bad is going to happen.  Continue reading at your own risk. 

***** 

A woman walked into the bedroom and caught her husband watching an adult movie (he was just “watching,” so you don’t have to imagine anything unseemly). 

“I told you not to watch that in here,” the wife said, disgusted. 

“I was just flipping channels,” the husband replied.  He was feeling defensive and was going through his list of excuses when he noticed the book that his wife was holding. 

“You’re reading Fifty Shades of Grey,” the husband said.  “What’s the difference between that and this video?” 

“It’s literature,” the wife said.  “It’s a book, so it’s automatically better.” 

“Let’s see,” the husband said and read the novel for a few minutes.  “The dialogue is cheesy.  The plot is contrived.  And the adult encounters in this book are more unrealistic than what I was watching.  Really, there’s not much difference between my adult video and your book.” 

“Oh yeah?” the wife said, turning to watch the video (the husband hadn’t bothered to turn it off). 

After a few minutes she paused the video and said, “The music is cheesy. You can hear the director giving instructions to the actress.  The video keeps changing angles too quickly.  The close ups are of things I don’t want to see close up.  And the lighting is really poor.” 

The husband bit his lip, perplexed.  Then he turned the video back on and stared at it for a moment. 

“Wow,” he said.  ‘I didn’t even know this video had music.”

From → Jokes/Generic

11 Comments
  1. Loved it! I hear so much about FSOG that I feel I don’t have to read it. Which is good, because I don’t want to read it. I refuse to read anything that has had so much press so quickly. But if it stands the test of time and being included in some future “Best Literature of 2012,” I might consider it…And ya know, some of those articles in Playboy really WERE excellent. I know, because I read ‘em in between ogling the airbrushed broads I wished I looked like…

    • I haven’t read the Fifty Shades either, but I’ve read enough reviews from people that I respect. Best Literature of 2012? That would be an achievement. Depending on whose Best Literature list it was, maybe I’d think about reading one. .

      • um if FSoG makes it on someone’s “greatest literature list” you might want to check said list for “Twilight”… then run in the opposite direction

  2. LOL! and she just proved his point, too.

  3. I haven’t read the book, nor will I read the book. I’m waiting for the book to be made into a movie. Wait. Nevermind.

  4. LOL! Call a horndog a horndog… that’s what I say. It’s all titillation for the same brain region, whether visual or literary, trying to disguise it as art just highlights the fact that the viewer/reader already realises it is an unacceptable waste of leisure time. I think people should stop caring about porn and whether it’s gross or not, which would have the nice knock-on effect of stopping “books” like Fifty Shades of Purple being included on ‘literary great’ lists, just so its readers could feel like they weren’t a bad person.

  5. A guy JUST said that to me a few weeks ago! (What you wrote for the photo caption.) Reading words is different than seeing people’s junk in your face. Anyway, I think the real reason the book is a hit with women is not the sexual fantasy, but the relationship fantasy (“Pretty Woman” meets Twilght). Here’s my take: http://bossymoksie.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/50-shades-of-kinky-fy/
    The writing isn’t great. If you’re a literary snob, which is okay, then STAY AWAY. Unless you want to be angry or amused with the Universe. (The author is making 1 million a week!) PS- love how the guy is perplexed and bites his lip. Are you sure you haven’t read the book????

    • No, I haven’t read the books (haha!), but I’ve read enough about them to know about the self-biting of the lips. I like your comparison to the movie Pretty Woman.

      • Thanks. There are actually 2 scenes from that movie that she ripped off for the book! So Twilight wasn’t the only thing she was stealing from!

  6. Hahaha, I liked that! 50 shades is fiction – not even genre fiction, really – and just prose porn. I wrote a post on my blog about sex in fiction, check it out http://theartofwritingfiction.wordpress.com/

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